Bieng a sweet guy

[Woggle]

That why i dont think most sane women want or seek out badboys but if the guy is good looking they will put up with allot of stuff

 

To be fair that goes both ways. The things I see attractive women get away with.

[sanskrit]

Being a legitimately "sweet" guy means only pulling one wing off the fly instead of both wings.

[Leandro]

Being a legitimately "sweet" guy means only pulling one wing off the fly instead of both wings.

I wouldn't let the fly suffer with one or no wings. I would crush it.

[Untouchable_Fire]

I have been told many times now that Im a really sweet/nice guy. I absolutely hate it. As most of the girls date the other type of guys. I need to grow a pair and start not giving a ****. My rant for the day.

 

I would hate it too. Most women really can't tell the difference between Aholes and confident guys.

[SunsetRed]

Ok, A lot of guys think/say they are "nice guys" when really they are not.

 

Some men think they are nice guys because they call you a lot and don't blow you off or because they want a relationship and not just sex. I've gone out with guys who felt entitled to be in a relationship with me just because they were willing to offer a relationship and be monogamous.

These are the guys who blow up your phone with calls and texts, who tell you they love you after one week of dating, and who try and act like a boyfriend when you've stated that you are not looking for one. These are also the guys who act like you owe it to them to be their gf just because they took you out and displayed courteous manners rather than player manners.

 

I find it very disrespectful for a man to assume that I will be his gf just because he's not screwing people behind my back. Some of these "nice guys" are actually close to being stalkers.

 

I remember one guy years ago who would not stop calling even after I gently explained that I did not want a relationship. Yes, he said "nice" things to me, told me he was thinking of me, calling (5x a day) to tell me he thought I was special. I felt stalked and finally used a lot of firmness to tell him to stop calling. He angrily replied "Why won't you be my gf, I was nice to you dammit."

 

When I was trying to get rid of him, all I could think of was "the next time some guy just wants to screw me and leave, I'm going to be thankful."

[Nemicron]

But I dont think thats actually a nice guy. Sounds like he was obsessed. I think I understand why Women are afraid of nice guys now. Is that actually a common thing for most ladies to deal with?

 

 

Ok, A lot of guys think/say they are "nice guys" when really they are not.

 

Some men think they are nice guys because they call you a lot and don't blow you off or because they want a relationship and not just sex. I've gone out with guys who felt entitled to be in a relationship with me just because they were willing to offer a relationship and be monogamous.

These are the guys who blow up your phone with calls and texts, who tell you they love you after one week of dating, and who try and act like a boyfriend when you've stated that you are not looking for one. These are also the guys who act like you owe it to them to be their gf just because they took you out and displayed courteous manners rather than player manners.

 

I find it very disrespectful for a man to assume that I will be his gf just because he's not screwing people behind my back. Some of these "nice guys" are actually close to being stalkers.

 

I remember one guy years ago who would not stop calling even after I gently explained that I did not want a relationship. Yes, he said "nice" things to me, told me he was thinking of me, calling (5x a day) to tell me he thought I was special. I felt stalked and finally used a lot of firmness to tell him to stop calling. He angrily replied "Why won't you be my gf, I was nice to you dammit."

 

When I was trying to get rid of him, all I could think of was "the next time some guy just wants to screw me and leave, I'm going to be thankful."

[Surrealist]

Well this is a problem isn't it? And the problem is, as it were, pervasive.

 

Once upon a time I had a 'nice guy' contantly hitting on me when I clearly wasn't interested. As I had indicated, I am not that way (not that there's anything wrong with that). I gave Mr 'nice guy' plenty of opportunities to redeem himself from his wayward 'nice guy' behaviour (which was really just a facade to concilliate me to get his sexual pleasures and desires met) but he remained obstinate and stubborn in his pursuit of me. Mr 'nice guy' couldn't seem to comprehend that my preferences were incompatible with his preferences and thus I had to terminate the friendship.

 

Some 'nice guy' he was!!

[Leandro]

Ok, A lot of guys think/say they are "nice guys" when really they are not.

 

Some men think they are nice guys because they call you a lot and don't blow you off or because they want a relationship and not just sex. I've gone out with guys who felt entitled to be in a relationship with me just because they were willing to offer a relationship and be monogamous.

These are the guys who blow up your phone with calls and texts, who tell you they love you after one week of dating, and who try and act like a boyfriend when you've stated that you are not looking for one. These are also the guys who act like you owe it to them to be their gf just because they took you out and displayed courteous manners rather than player manners.

 

I find it very disrespectful for a man to assume that I will be his gf just because he's not screwing people behind my back. Some of these "nice guys" are actually close to being stalkers.

 

I remember one guy years ago who would not stop calling even after I gently explained that I did not want a relationship. Yes, he said "nice" things to me, told me he was thinking of me, calling (5x a day) to tell me he thought I was special. I felt stalked and finally used a lot of firmness to tell him to stop calling. He angrily replied "Why won't you be my gf, I was nice to you dammit."

 

When I was trying to get rid of him, all I could think of was "the next time some guy just wants to screw me and leave, I'm going to be thankful."

He did all that and y'all weren't eve a couple yet? That was obsessive. I wouldn't call a girl 5x a day to tell her how special she is. I would get pretty bored if it happen to me.

 

He's a "nice" guy who was trying way to hard.

[Anela]

We as guys know that

 

So WHY do women say they want a sweet/nice/good guy, when its not true?

 

For me, it's true. If they're warm, generous (in spirit) - just good guys! It isn't so damned hard to understand, surely. That doesn't mean that you need to be a doormat, just don't deliberately be an @sshole.

[that girl]

Ok... so let me ask you something. You've never turned down a guy that was nice? What if he was like this perfect looking guy that had all the features that get you going. Whatever they are and he really made you feel all butterfly-ish and everything. But he had this kinda dark side to him.

 

As opposed to a guy thats average looking and is a nice guy. is caring and loving. And respectful. And would you know would be faithful. I'd be willing to bet that you'd probably not go for something like that because it not a challenge.

Yes, I have turned down a guy who was nice because I didn't find him attractive.

 

Would you expect a man to date a woman who he didn't find attractive because he was nice.

 

Caring and respectful is good, but it isn't everything. There is a kind of chemistry with the right person.

 

But there are different strokes for different folks. Aerogurl described her ideal as strong and stubborn. Those aren't qualities that I would have ever listed. It doesn't mean anything other than we don't go for the same kind guy.

[SunsetRed]

Yes, this guy acted like that and we were not a couple. I only went out on 2 dates with him and yes, he was nice, but I felt like we didn't have enough hobbies or interests in common to date. I didn't want to go out on the 3rd date as I was getting the vibe that he was looking for a serious gf and I didn't want to lead him on. He then started his obcessive and entitlement behavior.

 

Actually, I've seen other so called "nice guys" display a certain behavior characteristic that is a turn off for me, and perhaps others... They move way too fast emotionally and they try too hard to treat you like a gf and they don't give you a chance to decide if you want to be their gf.

 

A truly nice guy will just be nice to you and won't make you feel like you owe him another date, a relationship or anything.

[Nemicron]

that is kinda a different ball of wax though

 

Well this is a problem isn't it? And the problem is, as it were, pervasive.

 

Once upon a time I had a 'nice guy' contantly hitting on me when I clearly wasn't interested. As I had indicated, I am not that way (not that there's anything wrong with that). I gave Mr 'nice guy' plenty of opportunities to redeem himself from his wayward 'nice guy' behaviour (which was really just a facade to concilliate me to get his sexual pleasures and desires met) but he remained obstinate and stubborn in his pursuit of me. Mr 'nice guy' couldn't seem to comprehend that my preferences were incompatible with his preferences and thus I had to terminate the friendship.

 

Some 'nice guy' he was!!

[D-Jam]

It really is sad. These same women will then turn around and wonder where all the good men are. It's gotten to the point where I don't feel any sympathy for the drama that woman deal with in the dating world. I am very cold to it.

 

Woggle makes a point though in this sense.

 

One big change I made in my life is I started to really differentiate the women who really do want "good men" and perhaps were bamboozeled by a wolf in sheep's clothing...versus the ones who really believe they are that "special" and can "beat the odds", and tame the bad boy into being a loyal boyfriend.

 

When you really look at the women out there, you can see these women. The better women are the ones who have the backbone to drop a guy the moment he betrays her or the moment he is a douche to her. The bad ones are the ones who keep making excuses, or get angry one moment and then quickly falls for his tricks and comes back, only to be betrayed again later.

 

Nice guys tend to feel bad for all women who get hurt, and seemingly think they would be the perfect answer to it. That they would bring those women a world of love and devotion and make them wonder what they saw in the bad boys in the first place. The problem is they don't take the time to really see who deserves sympathy and who doesn't.

 

Lord knows not all women will do the "sisterhood" and "you go girl!" thing for the women who continually keep running back to the jerk (or the ones who chase new jerks). If you ever notice, women are very unsympathetic to the bad boy chasers...and nice guys need to be the same.

 

Just like I tell women that the only way jerks stop being jerks is when they're not getting laid anymore...girls stop being flakes and really stop dealing with the jerks when they see they have no easy alternatives to run to as a last resort as well as when they see they have no friends who will hug them and say they're perfect and he's just a jerk.

 

Ok... so let me ask you something. You've never turned down a guy that was nice? What if he was like this perfect looking guy that had all the features that get you going. Whatever they are and he really made you feel all butterfly-ish and everything. But he had this kinda dark side to him.

 

As opposed to a guy thats average looking and is a nice guy. is caring and loving. And respectful. And would you know would be faithful. I'd be willing to bet that you'd probably not go for something like that because it not a challenge.

 

Even if the guy is a total jerk, he'll lie and come off as a "good guy" to these women. Plus he targets the hot insecure ones.

 

So he initially comes off as a good guy and does what he has to do to get laid, then when he's bored with her he stops caring...and she gets angry and the drama starts. Or he'll move on and tell her this wasn't a RL, just some fun...and she's pissed because she assumed it was a RL.

 

Many girls move on and never look back, some will keep running back and trying harder to get him to change.

 

The REALITY is the good looking guy who seemingly has a lot going for him will get more girls than the average joe who hasn't got much going on for him. This is why I stress to guys to look at fashion, have interests, do things, etc. If you're an average joe in a pack of average joes, the women will sift through to find the above average guy in the pack.

 

So make yourself into that above average guy.

[Woggle]

I agree. A woman who really values happy and healthy relationships will drop a man who starts acting like a jerk and certainly will never date a married man. This is why I say that a woman's past does matter. If a woman has a history of dating jerks then it is something drawing her to them. The same goes for a man.

[D-Jam]

I agree. A woman who really values happy and healthy relationships will drop a man who starts acting like a jerk and certainly will never date a married man. This is why I say that a woman's past does matter. If a woman has a history of dating jerks then it is something drawing her to them. The same goes for a man.

I agree with you.

 

If a girl has been played once or twice by one or two good liars, then one shouldn't hold that on her.

 

However, if she's had a long history of dramatic and traumatic RLs with horrible guys, and she's showing not only mental/emotional damage because of it, but her life might be a mess financially (and she might be knocked up by one of them), then you're better off moving on.

 

To me, that's the price one pays for playing with fire...and I see plenty of women now who are paying the price for their pasts. It's sad to a degree, but they did bring it on themselves.

[Nemicron]

See I dont understand guys like that. I was never playing games like that. And I find that irritating that some guys out there twist it all up and give a bad name for the real nice guys

[Eeyore79]

Doesn't take long before someone comes on with this pathetic stereotypical judgment. It's getting old....

 

Not all nice guys are weaklings by any measure. Your post just reeks of bitterness.

 

What do I have to be bitter about? Niceness alone is not enough to make a girl date a guy - he also has to be attractive. Women don't want "nice guys"; they want "nice, attractive guys".

 

If a guy claims to be "nice" but can't get dates, he's obviously unattractive, either in looks or behaviour. If he was either stunningly good looking, or confident, masculine, charming, and fun, then he wouldn't have any problems getting dates. He isn't getting dates, so I have to assume that he's unattractive in one way or another. Very few people are so ugly that nobody will date them - it's usually their behaviour that's unattractive.

 

 

And you mean to tell me that a attractive looking women would date a guy that has pimples all over his face and is lucky if he weighs over 120lbs. Unless he had a bunch of money?

Gorgeous girls probably won't date a guy who's significantly below them on the attractiveness scale, just as handsome guys won't usually date ugly girls. I'm sure a woman of equivalent attractiveness would be happy to date him though. Why should he expect an attractive looking woman anyway, if he isn't attractive himself?

 

 

"Dominant" what does that mean? AN alpha male dbag who shows his superiorty over other males?

No, not a douchebag. Just someone who's a real man, who's assertive and confident and doesn't stand for any crap from anyone. You can be nice and still be assertive and confident.