NoLove Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 My exgirlfriend broke up with me like two weeks ago. But everytime i think its over and i can forget about it they bring it back up and its starting to annoy me. Like when we first broke up i thought it was over and i wouldn't have to talk about it but every two seconds someone else comes up to me and is asking me what happened and telling me she said all kinds of bad stuff about me and i got kicked to the curb and all this other bs. So then after a week of that i think its over again then people start coming up to me and telling me she is still talking crap. Then her mom called me freaking out saying i was spreading rumors i told her i wasn't and i went and told everyone i know not to even talk about her or tell her i said anything or spread any rumors to just let it die. I told her friend to tell her i was sorry and everything. Today after all that she gets her and her friends to follow me around for an hour screaming stuff and calling me names while video taping it. Then they start acting like they are gonna fight me. She also says her big bro who plays college football is gonna come beat me up. I don't get why they can't just seriously move on and leave me alone its like everytime i'm thinking life is good this happens. I'm so pissed off and annoyed right now its not funny. How to i get this to die? Why wont she leave me alone? She broke up with me and has all her friends spreading rumors about me why cant it just die?
Sabali Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Wow, I have nothing but good memories of middle school and here you are dealing with the horrors. I am sorry.
Author NoLove Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 I'm in high school. But i totally agree. She is acting like a 12 year old. I am a sophomore in high school and this has never happened to me and i have never seen it happen to my friends. I thought we were just gonna be friends and forget all this but she won't leave me alone.
Sabali Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Well you need to talk to her face to face and iron this out because it is getting way out of hand. Someone is going to have to be the mature one and we are going to pick you for the position. You can't count on her mother since she is getting into high school drama. Is her father reasonable? How is your relationship with him. maybe you can talk to him. In any event, don't ignore it and hope it will go away. You need to act but act with good manners here. Again, approach her, remain calm throughout the discussion, apologize if you did something to screw up her reputation, and don't walk away unless things get resolved. You must remain calm and cool.
JungleLover Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 What else can you do besides talk to her like sabali suggested or switch schools and location? When people have disagreements or fight often the best thing to do is to sit down and talk it out. Are you against talking to her?
Sabali Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 What else can you do besides talk to her like sabali suggested or switch schools and location? When people have disagreements or fight often the best thing to do is to sit down and talk it out. Are you against talking to her? Oh, $#!t. Forgive me. I tried applying a grown folk solution to a high school problem. OP, you have to moon all of her friends and family each time they mess with you.
sanskrit Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Call her parents, since her mom called you the door is open for this, and tell them everything you said in the OP, and further that if they don't get a handle on their daughter's bad behavior, you are going to involve your parents and that they will likely complain to your school. In high school situations, taking matters into your own hands is usually not the best idea, bring in the parental cavalry and I bet this disappears instantly.
JungleLover Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 (edited) In high school situations, taking matters into your own hands is usually not the best idea, bring in the parental cavalry and I bet this disappears instantly. I thought of this but if he threatens to get his parents involved then he will be teased for getting mommy and daddy involved. In high school, the teasing can be relentless. We already know that the girl's mother is not acting mature since she is calling him up and being just as unreasonable and likely is where her daughter picked up the behavior. If both sides of the parents get involved, it could turn into a family feud and the daughter will probably get revenge softly through her other friends and just deny she is involved with the revenge harassment. I think the best course of action would be to go up the chain starting at the bottom and escalate from there (the corporate American way). Try to talk to the daughter and straighten things out and there may be no need to drag it to the adults. I am not sure if the OP did something hurtful to the daughter to make her break up with him or something but I am sure he is probably not completely innocent in all of this. The were just a couple only two weeks ago so this may be possible. A lot of people are getting involved so there was something major going on. Maybe just going right to the source and talking it all out will stop the childishness. Edited November 5, 2010 by JungleLover
sanskrit Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 The guy has a mob running around videotaping him, enough is enough. Most of the kids doing this will realize they are doing wrong the minute someone gets called out on it, and I doubt anyone will call OP a wimp for this. He's actually within his rights to call the police, but not suggesting that at this point, and if this were a young girl being harrassed like this, it would have been brought to a stop long ago.
JungleLover Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 The guy has a mob running around videotaping him, enough is enough. Most of the kids doing this will realize they are doing wrong the minute someone gets called out on it, and I doubt anyone will call OP a wimp for this. He's actually within his rights to call the police, but not suggesting that at this point, and if this were a young girl being harrassed like this, it would have been brought to a stop long ago. Good point. That is very reasonable but there are two sides to every story. We still don't know what part he has played in this. Unless the girl is the spawn of Satan, I am sure there are other things going on here that has not been discussed. He even said he tried to tell her friend that he was sorry. Sorry for what? It has to be serious if the mother is getting involved and all of her friends are coming after him even though they are all acting ridiculous. Escalating this without trying to go to the source of the problem first could make the problem worse. A lot of people don't take kindly to threats so it may be a good idea to at least try to talk first. Don't talk through a friend but talk to her. That is my suggestion. This is not really a dating issue but a harassment one so I will end my take on things here.
Author NoLove Posted November 6, 2010 Author Posted November 6, 2010 Good point. That is very reasonable but there are two sides to every story. We still don't know what part he has played in this. Unless the girl is the spawn of Satan, I am sure there are other things going on here that has not been discussed. He even said he tried to tell her friend that he was sorry. Sorry for what? It has to be serious if the mother is getting involved and all of her friends are coming after him even though they are all acting ridiculous. Escalating this without trying to go to the source of the problem first could make the problem worse. A lot of people don't take kindly to threats so it may be a good idea to at least try to talk first. Don't talk through a friend but talk to her. That is my suggestion. This is not really a dating issue but a harassment one so I will end my take on things here. My part? She thinks i said she blew me. I didn't tell anyone that it was just a whole bunch of freshman and immature kids asking her questions as a joke. She took it seriously. I tried to talk to her today...twice. Both times she completely ignored me and kept walking. She sent some guy to tell me that her brother was gonna come beat me up. So its whatever i'm gonna fight her brother then tell everyone in the school everything we did together and show them the texts. If thats the ways she wants to play it i can play it that way too.
JungleLover Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 So its whatever i'm gonna fight her brother then tell everyone in the school everything we did together and show them the texts. If thats the ways she wants to play it i can play it that way too. That would be the wrong thing to do. That is the kiddie, middle school way to do things. You have to handle this in a mature way. If you fight her brother, send the text and tell everyone at school what you did as a couple, it will not be hard to imagine that you actually did tell everyone at the school that she gave you oral sex. Considering how stubborn she is being about this and how her mother is reacting, I have to be honest, I can't help but to wonder if you actually did let this secret out. It is what high school boys do so it won't make you unusual but we are told not to kiss and tell for a reason. On an anonymous forum, identities are protected but you can't say this stuff to people schoolmates. So this is an anonymous place here and if you want help for the right problem, just be upfront and honest about if you told anyone at your school that your ex girlfriend gave you oral sex. We can go from there. If you did let the cat out of the bag, be prepared to just man up and smooze.
Author NoLove Posted November 6, 2010 Author Posted November 6, 2010 That would be the wrong thing to do. That is the kiddie, middle school way to do things. You have to handle this in a mature way. If you fight her brother, send the text and tell everyone at school what you did as a couple, it will not be hard to imagine that you actually did tell everyone at the school that she gave you oral sex. Considering how stubborn she is being about this and how her mother is reacting, I have to be honest, I can't help but to wonder if you actually did let this secret out. It is what high school boys do so it won't make you unusual but we are told not to kiss and tell for a reason. On an anonymous forum, identities are protected but you can't say this stuff to people schoolmates. So this is an anonymous place here and if you want help for the right problem, just be upfront and honest about if you told anyone at your school that your ex girlfriend gave you oral sex. We can go from there. If you did let the cat out of the bag, be prepared to just man up and smooze. Okay right now i am gonna swear on my life i did not tell one person she blew me. One of my friends keyword ONE knows that i fingered her and thats because it happened in class and he saw. I told her right afterwards and me and her laughed it off. I am pretty sure he didn't tell anyone. For the last month she has been talking crap about me. I haven't said one bad word about her to anybody. I didn't even talk to people for like a week because i didn't wanna talk about her and answer 1001 questions. I was always nice to her and never mean. Now she has some grown man saying he is gonna come up to MY SCHOOL and beat ME up? Even her own cousin told her i never said that stuff because i'm not that kind of person. I never talk a lot about anything and i definetly don't tell people that kind of stuff. I went around to every single one of my friends every one of them and asked them if they said it. I told them not to say it. I held my tongue when her little ugly friends were following me around trying to clown. I held my tongue in class when she was sitting there saying how ugly i was. I held my tongue through every thing that she did to me. Right now i honestly think i am gonna explode. I can't even be in class with her because i feel like i am gonna start punching her. So F**K her and F**K her bro and F**K her family. And the next time she says anything about me i am gonna clown on her in front of the whole class until she starts crying. And when her bro comes up to my school i am gonna kick his face in and then show him proof that his little sister blew me. I'm tired of this little kid sh*t i'm gonna make an example out of him.
JungleLover Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 And when her bro comes up to my school i am gonna kick his face in and then show him proof that his little sister blew me. Ok. You said you told no one that she gave you oral sex but now you are threatening to show her brother proof that she gave you oral sex. First, this will only make everyone sure of their belief that you actually did spread the rumor and make it almost impossible to believe that you didn't spread the rumor in the first place. Second, if you start acting like a little baby like everyone else, this thing is going to get way out of hand. This is not how men go about solving their problems. You can't go around smearing a girls reputation and drag yourself down to their level. You have to be diplomatic about this. Some of sanskrit suggestions may be in order here considering your last point. I am not sure that you have the tact to handle this on your own. You need to talk about this with your parents. It may be easier to talk about it with your father considering the whole oral sex thing.
4givrnt4gtr Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 IMO......going to your parents is gonna make your life a living hell...and clearly talking to Ms thing is not working out either.... Now...from the sound of it all, this little chicky sounds like a bully....and believe me, these days the whole bullying thing is getting HUGE attention. SO, If i were you, when she comes teasing and threatening you, I would simply go up to her, in my most calm, mature, self assured manner, tell her that you have asked her repeatedly to leave you alone. Given that she has made several threats you have no choice but to involve the principal at your school and if need be, the police, as you have no intentions of ruining your future by getting involve in a fight, getting expelled and damage your permanent record. Proceed to walk over to the principals' office and watch her pee her pants. This ofcourse, if it is true you have no spread rumors about her. In any case, you are 15 and its time to learn how to handle bs on your own (and by on your own I mean go to the appropriate authorities, which will then decide if your parents need to be involved, which im sure they will given the threats of violence). It sucks, but im sure most of us have had to deal with this at some point or another.
JungleLover Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 (edited) IMO......going to your parents is gonna make your life a living hell...and clearly talking to Ms thing is not working out either.... This was my initial point. You don't think going to the principal or police is equivalent to going to his parents? When it comes to a minor, anytime you get the police or principal involved, the parents are automatically involved. They won't just try to solve the problem without dragging parents. I used to teach and had to deal with these situations. I get the feeling this is too big to sweep under a rug and after reading the OP's last post, I don't get the impression that he is "tactful" enough to handle this alone. Considering this sexual harassment subject and potential violence, everyone is about to get involved at this point. The priority here is to prevent a violent outcome and more harassment before it gets extremely out of hand. Edited November 6, 2010 by JungleLover
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