jthorne Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Mombot- Did you ever get the explanation from him as to why his wife refused to believe you when you called her? Have you reconciled the fact that she doesn't APPEAR to know or want to believe that he's seeing you with him telling you that he's available to be with you? Or got a clear answer as to why you couldn't be with him when his kids were in town visiting? I know you claim not to feel like an OW or mistress...but the very little bit of information you post clearly spells out that you are a hidden secret that he keeps from his wife and his children. What's your plan to correct that?I was being a smartypants with the hooray, but seriously. It's so hard to get any information out of this OP, one can only assume that she has either reconciled herself to her situation or is happy enough with the way things are.
BB07 Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 I was being a smartypants with the hooray, but seriously. It's so hard to get any information out of this OP, one can only assume that she has either reconciled herself to her situation or is happy enough with the way things are. I disagree, I don't think mombot is completely happy with her situation. If she was I don't see why she would feel the need to come here and post occasionally. I also think the reason that she only posts little tidbits of info is because she is afraid that she'll maybe have to face things that she doesn't want to if she put the whole thing out there and she doesn't want other posters dipping into her perception of things too deeply. She doubts.....but she doesn't want to doubt too much. That's my 2 cents..........
2sure Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 You know, its kind of funny and also maybe wrong of me... But as empathetic, open minded , and non judgmental as I sincerely try to be.....I cannot figure out, fathom, understand why any single OW would give a MM the luxury of her time, affection, and emotions ...the luxury of having all that he wants plus a cherry on top....and not expect something more than words and good sex in return ESPECIALLY if she cares about him. I just dont get it.
BB07 Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 You know, its kind of funny and also maybe wrong of me... But as empathetic, open minded , and non judgmental as I sincerely try to be.....I cannot figure out, fathom, understand why any single OW would give a MM the luxury of her time, affection, and emotions ...the luxury of having all that he wants plus a cherry on top....and not expect something more than words and good sex in return ESPECIALLY if she cares about him. I just dont get it. Because...........she expects to get more later (MM says....Just hang in for a little while longer, I can't do xyz right now, but I promise I will later, I'll make it up to you baby, I PROMISE)? A lack of self worth right now? Sometimes when you love someone your good sense blows right out your own azz. :laugh:
jthorne Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Sometimes when you love someone your good sense blows right out your own azz. :laugh:Wow. This is what I have been trying to say for months, and here it is all in one sentence.
jthorne Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 You know, its kind of funny and also maybe wrong of me... But as empathetic, open minded , and non judgmental as I sincerely try to be.....I cannot figure out, fathom, understand why any single OW would give a MM the luxury of her time, affection, and emotions ...the luxury of having all that he wants plus a cherry on top....and not expect something more than words and good sex in return ESPECIALLY if she cares about him. I just dont get it.Because what they want is the one thing the MM can't give them.
OWoman Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 When I was OW I was independent as far as I had a job, a house, etc. But I also expected to receive some of the benefits of my relationship with MM that his wife had and that other women in exclusive relationships received. Because I was exclusive to him and he could not be to me, because I gave up holidays, sharing burdens, legal security, because I formed my time and emotions around him and his schedule...I expected and received the benefits he was able to give me to show that he cared and appreciated me. Vacations, art, jewelry, a condo, a car. By accepting those gifts many people here have labeled me a mistress or a prostitute as opposed to OW. Wow! Referring to the bolded bit - I would NEVER cede anything like that to someone, unless it was completely mutual. I can certainly understand why you felt you needed "Payment in kind"... I must say in none of my As with MMs did I make any kind of sacrifice at all - I certainly didn't give up exclusivity, holidays or time and emotions, and I certainly never made myself available around anyone's schedule! I was way too busy having a fun, exciting life of my own, squeezing them in as and when it suited me, on my terms - perhaps you're suggesting I should have paid them? The only difference between the 2 that I can see is : The OW sacrifices and the MM benefits. Apparently in the view of others if OW is anything other than a victim m if she benefits at all...she is a whore. But in my mind...OW should be taken care of by MM in the ways that he can, just as he would in any other relationship. If he isnt...then OW is being used just as a prostitute but free. This is a contradiction in terms, IMO. The definition of a prostitute is a person who provides sexual services in exchange for money or equivalent; without the exchange of money, one cannot be a prostitute. Exploited, yes - but not a prostitute.
BB07 Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Wow. This is what I have been trying to say for months, and here it is all in one sentence. I kinda liked it.........I think I should add it to my siggy line.
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