northern_sky Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 You guys may recall Mr. Harvard, a guy I had an infatuation with for seven years, from 18 to 25. We were only minor acquaintances at the small college where we met -- a college in the middle of nowhere, far away. But little to his knowledge I was fixated on him for years, even after he graduated and moved to another part of the country. Two years ago, six years after I last saw him, by some twist of fate he landed in the same internship as my best friend, fifteen minutes from where I lived at the time (though he's from a city in another part of the country). By some other twist he remembered I lived there and messaged me to get a drink with him, despite the fact that we barely knew each other in college. We met up, it was awkward and weird, I told him I liked him and we almost hooked up but then he flaked out at the last minute. After he flaked, I made myself look crazy/desperate by bombarding him with insecure, pushy messages. Then we both moved away, to different places. Two years later, a couple of weeks ago, I am standing in my tiny restaurant in a tiny city, when a familiar looking woman in her sixties steps in. She looks eerily similar to Mr. Harvard's mother. Yes, I used to facebook stalk the guy so I knew what his mother looked like despite never having met her. I thought to myself, it can't possibly be her. What would she be doing here?! She lives 800 miles away, and this is a tiny, tiny city (more like a town) that doesn't attract many tourists. But I decided to find out. I made sure I was the waitress who took her order at the front, and I asked for her first name (to bring her food later). She gave me a name that is so unusual that it was without a doubt his mother. I was tempted to ask about her son, but realized how crazy it would sound. Then today I am in the drug store when I catch a glimpse of a guy who looks very similar to Mr. Harvard. But I didn't look long enough to know for sure. I'd say it's 50 50. What made me suspicious is I know he saw me, and when he was at the register he was talking so low that the cashier said, "excuse me?" It was like he was trying to conceal his voice so I wouldn't realize it was him. But maybe I'm insane and it was just some doppelganger. Right now he lives in Brooklyn. That's also where I'm probably moving in the near future, and it's not because of him. I was already planning to live there long before I knew he had moved there. I know a lot of young people live there, but still. I have this strong sense that I will run into him again at some point in the future. And it's strange because I almost never run into people I know from college. It doesn't upset me -- it's just kind of amusing. For some reason he's in my orbit. I'm not religious at all, but I've always been superstitious. Btw, I have no feelings for him anymore, but I spent so many years thinking about him that he's become a perma squatter in my brain. Anyone have similar experiences?
TheMENemy Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 It sounds like you are preoccupied with the past. Live more for, and in, the present.
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