dbmystinkbug Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 After two months of NC, and nearly four months after the breakup, I'm feeling the overwhelming urge to check in with her. We had an amicable split, and assured each other that we would be friends, and I'm hurt that I haven't heard from her in so long. Pride alone, and nothing else, has kept me from breaking down and emailing her up to this point. Every day is a test of endurance on my part...I'm simply enduring the hours from the moment I wake each day, wondering if and when I'll ever hear from her again. I don't know what I expect to gain from emailing and saying hi. Perhaps a little relief from wondering if she ever thinks about me. Just a little crumb of insight into what's going on in her mind, so that maybe I can move on. The breakup was sort of mutual, but I've missed her terribly since day one and though I tried to get her to reconsider initially, she made it clear that we weren't gonna get back together. So at this point, I just need a little help. I'm dating a little bit, but not enjoying it. I'm taking care of my body, throwing myself into my work, the whole nine yards. There are some things I can feel good about. I stopped smoking, for instance. Two months, smoke-free. But the endurance test remains, every day. How do I stop wondering if I'll hear from her? How do I stop checking my email a hundred times a day, hoping there's one from her? It's been four months since I saw her face...why can't I let her go? So tired of hurting...thanks for letting me vent.
Leandro Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 After two months of NC, and nearly four months after the breakup, I'm feeling the overwhelming urge to check in with her. We had an amicable split, and assured each other that we would be friends, and I'm hurt that I haven't heard from her in so long. Pride alone, and nothing else, has kept me from breaking down and emailing her up to this point. Every day is a test of endurance on my part...I'm simply enduring the hours from the moment I wake each day, wondering if and when I'll ever hear from her again. I don't know what I expect to gain from emailing and saying hi. Perhaps a little relief from wondering if she ever thinks about me. Just a little crumb of insight into what's going on in her mind, so that maybe I can move on. The breakup was sort of mutual, but I've missed her terribly since day one and though I tried to get her to reconsider initially, she made it clear that we weren't gonna get back together. So at this point, I just need a little help. I'm dating a little bit, but not enjoying it. I'm taking care of my body, throwing myself into my work, the whole nine yards. There are some things I can feel good about. I stopped smoking, for instance. Two months, smoke-free. But the endurance test remains, every day. How do I stop wondering if I'll hear from her? How do I stop checking my email a hundred times a day, hoping there's one from her? It's been four months since I saw her face...why can't I let her go? So tired of hurting...thanks for letting me vent. Well good job with NC so far. I know how you feel about checking your emails. I use to check them hundreds of times a day too, but now I only check twice a day. It sounds like you're not over her yet. Stick with NC until that urge to contact her is gone.
Cratsky Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 You poor thing. You must be feeling terrible but you've got to look at it this way: She's got access to forms of communication the same way you do. ->So why should you instigate contact with someone who is perfectly capable of contacting you? What does that tell you? While I know you ended it amicably, committing to staying friends is just a band-aid. A friend is someone who checks on how you are, is there for you and cares for you. If she isn't making the effort to contact you (and she was the dumper) then that's a clear sign she doesn't see you as a worth while friend to stay in touch with at all. This is a tough bullet to swallow but by clinging on, you're only prolonging the pain. You've got to be your own best friend right now. If you instigate any contact with the underhanded intention of checking up on her or hoping she'll miss you.. then you aren't ready to talk to her at all. You're basically setting yourself up for another stab in the chest.
Fern Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Two month NC isn't very long at all. Give it another 4 weeks and see how you feel. I suspect that contacting her is only going to make you feel WORSE than you do right now. Please fight the urge. It will get easier. I'm not that much farther on than you, but I promise you, it's definitely better now.
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