CrayonAngel Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Hello all, I've been here for a long time. Posted for a while under blueeyedjonesy..so If you want you can read my history. I've never been the cheater, but have been cheated on in the only 2 serious relationships I've been in. my dad had multiple affairs. I hate cheaters. I know it sounds crazy...and here lately I'm finally starting to feel that I've healed from the past, I don't come here anymore because i started to realize it only fueled the craziness I was feeling at times. Here in the past month..every night, and I MEAN EVERY NIGHT, I have a dream about cheating. My Husband cheating and giving me aids, me cheating while my Husband is in the same place as me, being drugged and having sex with strangers....they are very intense, and when I wake up I feel angry, and hurt until I get them out of my head.. has anyone has this happen to them? I really want them to go away.
jthorne Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Hey you, I'm glad to see you, and not so glad to see you, if you know what I mean. I don't know, but I'll take a stab at it. Dreams can be ways of purging and/or processing what's in our subconscious. Are you afraid of healing and then being cheated on again? I'm sensing a feeling of helplessness in what you've described... being drugged=helpless, getting aids=helpless... Are you feeling any helplessness? If not, perhaps the dreams are a way of purging that helpless feeling that you once felt. Interpreting dreams is a kind of armchair psychology, IMO, so take it with a huge grain of salt. What I think is important is you focusing on your current healing, knowing that you had the strength to handle what came your way, and also knowing that you've both grown because of it. Maybe your heart has healed, but your brain is still trying to make sense of it? May be a dumb question, but are you reading anything or watching anything intense or stressful on tv before you go to bed? Your brain is trying to process something. Once that's done, the dreams should go away.
Spark1111 Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Hello all, I've been here for a long time. Posted for a while under blueeyedjonesy..so If you want you can read my history. I've never been the cheater, but have been cheated on in the only 2 serious relationships I've been in. my dad had multiple affairs. I hate cheaters. I know it sounds crazy...and here lately I'm finally starting to feel that I've healed from the past, I don't come here anymore because i started to realize it only fueled the craziness I was feeling at times. Here in the past month..every night, and I MEAN EVERY NIGHT, I have a dream about cheating. My Husband cheating and giving me aids, me cheating while my Husband is in the same place as me, being drugged and having sex with strangers....they are very intense, and when I wake up I feel angry, and hurt until I get them out of my head.. has anyone has this happen to them? I really want them to go away. Where are you in the healing process? I think jthorne makes some very good points. There is still anger and hurt and yes, the helplessness of being cheated on in your subconcious. That's normal. And often in the process of reconciliation, we have to work very hard to NOT communicate with anger and pain, though it still might be there. Sometimes, the only way out of the crazies is right through the middle of them. And that's normal too.
2sure Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 We did not reconcile but divorced. Its only been a couple of months since it was final. I have dreams like that too. I have nightmares about finding out he was cheating, about being left for dead, about being betrayed. Ive also been having dreams that include a MM I was OW to before I remarried. Ive got a ways to go.
desertIslandCactus Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 I'm so lucky .. I think it's just occurred to me: Because of my age, I don't have dreams because I am woken to have to get up and pee too much ..
Author CrayonAngel Posted November 7, 2010 Author Posted November 7, 2010 Thank you all for your replies. I am a year out, and I know I'm doing much better. My relationship with H has gotten a lot better, which it was amazing before, he just had his secrets. We are a lot closer, and as much as I hate all of the things he did, it did wonders for our R. HOWEVER...JT you nailed it, its the feeling of helplessness. you should be a shrink my dear! I have this feeling in the back of my mind that if I let myself get back to where I was the day before I found out everything..then I can get hurt again. My trust with him is gone at the moment, and that really sucks. I guess its what happens. It is slowly coming back.
jthorne Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 Yes, but remember, you have grown as a person because of what you have endured. Of course, no one wants to endure that again, but you know now that you have the strength to endure more than you think you can. So worst case scenario, it happens again. It hurts like hell, but you know you can survive it. Now that you know you can deal with the worst, keep working towards the best!
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 If you are well on your way to healing, it could well be your subconscious doing some 'last of it' housecleaning.
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