Posshgal Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 This is my 1st really relationship and with have been together for just over a year. I hve low self-esteem and confidence as i was bullied at school. However he is always calling me a slut, slag and bitch. I tell him that I hate it but he just laughs it off and says he is joking. Then while he was at work I looked though his computer and emails, I found nude picture and videos or his ex and he had sent videos of him in shower to other girls. I also found an email to a girl saying that he doesnt love me any now and is just with me for the company, I dont want to get hurt so have said nothing and carried on the relationship now he is moody with me and I think he hates me I dot no weather to say anything or not :/
TMichaels Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Say nothing, and just WALK. Don't ever settle for less than you deserve. And believe me -- no matter how little self-esteem you think you have -- walking away from someone who is using you and treats you like dirt is a step in the right direction you need to take. Best, TMichaels
denise_xo Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Say nothing, and just WALK. Don't ever settle for less than you deserve. And believe me -- no matter how little self-esteem you think you have -- walking away from someone who is using you and treats you like dirt is a step in the right direction you need to take. Best, TMichaels This. Today.
Author Posshgal Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 thank you! I do think about walking now and again but the troblem is i hve no social life and im scared of being alone
aerogurl87 Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 thank you! I do think about walking now and again but the troblem is i hve no social life and im scared of being alone As someone who was verbally abused by one of their ex boyfriends (ex. being cursed out and called slut, b*tch, whore, etc. almost everyday) I can tell you that being alone is much better than being with someone who will tear you down emotionally and mentally day in and day out. You're much better off without this guy because you deserve to be respected and loved, he isn't giving this to you so you need to walk. As long as you stay with him your self esteem will continue to plummet. Not only that but it's much worse to be with someone and be lonely in a relationship than to be happy alone.
Author Posshgal Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 one thing i have always said to people like you lot (telling me to leave him) is....but he only says it as a joke and sometimes he can be the lovelest person i have ever met. but then thinking about it am i just making these things up for him? is it the age gap that make me feel insecure and not him saying these things? and do i only want to stay with him to proof to parents and family that it will work with the age gap and he is a nice guy at heart? :/ I think I need a lot of help
aerogurl87 Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 one thing i have always said to people like you lot (telling me to leave him) is....but he only says it as a joke and sometimes he can be the lovelest person i have ever met. but then thinking about it am i just making these things up for him? is it the age gap that make me feel insecure and not him saying these things? and do i only want to stay with him to proof to parents and family that it will work with the age gap and he is a nice guy at heart? :/ I think I need a lot of help I don't care if he says he's just joking, if he knows his words hurt you then he would not say what he says to you. But since he does that says you don't matter to him. Not only that but he's telling other girls he doesn't love you anymore, that is not love. I know you want to prove to everyone else that you two can make it although the odds are against you, but you don't need to lose your respect in the process. He may be a nice guy at heart, but he's not a good man to you and that's all that matters at this point. Leave him.
Author Posshgal Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 thank you for your help and support you have really helped me though this.
folieadeux Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Regardless of the age gap, low self-esteem, his claims of just joking, and whatever else, there’s zero excuse for his behaviour. I read your other post about him throwing a fit about the gift thing too. He sounds like a controlling and manipulative douche and you deserve so much better.
Bunny202 Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Honey, let me tell you something, don't walk away, RUN. NOW! I was in the same EXACT position you were a few years ago with my ex-boyfriend. He was okay in the beginning, but progressively got worse. He would call me names and tell me I was a "piece of s*it" constantly. He'd also call me a b*tch and a whore, for absolutely no reason. One day, he called me a c**t and a bunch of other names, actually he texted me that. When I called him and asked him why he said it, he said he was "just joking". That was the last straw for me. We had been having problems for some time, but for him to call me that awful C word, well I just had enough. I dumped him then and there. What myself and others are saying is that it WILL NOT get any better. He will only get worse, just like my ex did. First, he started off calling me names, then he would get physical and shake me when we got into fights or pin me against the wall so I couldn't move. One time he even KICKED me in my back and I fell on the floor and he said he was just "joking" then too but he was pissed when he did it, so I knew it wasn't a joke. He would also talk down to me in public, in front of other people including his friends so it was obvious he had NO RESPECT for me. None. This guy DOES NOT respect you either. I had low self esteem just like YOU. I was young and thought I couldn't do any better. I thought I was in love and that I couldn't do without him, but I FINALLY got the strength to walk away. To this day, he still wants to get back together. He has apologized for his behavior but I will NEVER get back with that trash. Listen OP, you don't deserve that treatment, bottom line! You don't deserve someone to call you those names. There is NOTHING funny about that. What he's doing is emotionally abusing you. Please know that you can do better. Get out of that relationship now. Things will NOT get better. Don't waste your time with that guy any longer. You deserve a guy who will treat you well and not call you names like this. There are caring, loving guys out there who will treat you well. I promise men like this DO exist. It will be hard and it does hurt when you end any relationship, but you will be so much happier once you end this. Get rid of him now.
Bunny202 Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 thank you! I do think about walking now and again but the troblem is i hve no social life and im scared of being alone Being alone is better than being in a bad relationship. As far as your social life, do you have any family members or anyone around who can introduce you to others? There are other ways you can try to meet people as well. Are you in school? Try joining a club. There are also websites specifically for people who want to meet new people and make friends. Meetup.com is a good one. You can look into that. Maybe you can also take up a sport or join an art or music class, whatever it is you're interested in. If you're into religion, I'd say Church is a great way to meet people. I've made a lot of good friends at my Church. I hope everything works out. Good luck to you.
LittleTiger Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 one thing i have always said to people like you lot (telling me to leave him) is....but he only says it as a joke and sometimes he can be the lovelest person i have ever met. If someone (anyone) consistently makes you feel bad about yourself, regardless of whether they say it's a joke or not, you should stay away from them. If it's your bf, you should RUN AWAY, FAST. This is definitely NOT a normal relationship. Your bf is being controlling and emotionally abusive. Have you told your parents about his behaviour? I suspect not - because you know they would insist you stop all contact - with very good reason. You are obviously very young and just starting out in life, do you really want to waste your time with a person who makes you feel horrible when there are so many people in the world who will make you feel like a million dollars?
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