nabin Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Hi all, I have a little situation here and hope you all can shed some light. I have this colleague whom I am rather attracted to and have been on good terms with. I am quite close to her, usually with me taking the initiative to talk to her and to look for her in her cubicle. We seem to be able to talk about anything and can really communicate in the same frequency. I have went on several group outings with her and we had great fun. We talked a lot and know pretty much about each other. She once accompanied me on a 3 hr queue but she emphasized that she's just doing it for a colleague. A very good colleague I must say! Friends and colleagues have been making fun and teasing us, asking whether are we dating. She likes to brush them off with just a smile. A close friend of mine actually ask whether has she considered dating me which she answer a again with just a smile. However, both of us seems to be enjoying the teasing haha. Recently, I tried suggesting going out on some group outings which she didn't want to. Just tried inviting her to a meal during the weekend but she rejected me again, saying she needs to be at home to pack up her house. She has been having a big renovation of her house recently and she said it is in a mess right now. Been a few weeks though. It is also very recently that i realized that I may be falling for her. Have been to a few casual dates previously and she knows about them so she may have thought I wasn't into her. I was keeping my options opened but after spending so much time with her, I realized she may be the one that I really like! Unfortunately, I seem to portray a very 'play-boy' attitude to my colleagues. I am no fool and I feel that she does not want to take things further. She feels comfortable with me but I am not sure whether can our relationship develop further. Personally, I felt that I may have not show enough interest in her but asking her out for dates seems to be fairly obviously isn't it? Can I even make it more obvious? I hate acting desperate and keep asking her out. Somehow, my gut instinct tells me that she may have some interest in me but there's seems to be something stopping her. I am at a loss now so will greatly appreciate if anyone can help me make sense of things. Thank you!
restart Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 She appears to be preoccupied certainly (the house, or perhaps someone else she is pursuing and perhaps hasnt reached yet) or is trying to sort out the relationship at work thing, ie if it would work. Last thing a number of people want is to give in to what others want/are thinking ie that you are going out, since its almost like being told what to do, and that brings up the guards quickly sometimes. Taking a stretch (since I don't like doing this either), but are you in private text/email communcation, perhaps you could put it into words exactly what you're feeling, and offer her some responses, as in say that you respect her time (devoting to her house etc), but that you just wanted to let her know and not be pressured by the others etc. Maybe too, you just need to wait a bit, but do stay in communication with her.
Fouts Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 You've been forward enough. If she had ANY romantic interest in you at all, you'd know 10 fold by now. Let it go.
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