This is my theory

[nice-easy-day]

I know this won't be a revelation to many of the experienced daters in here but recently my eyes have been opened as to how women operate when it comes to breaking up.

 

The worst situation you can be in is if a girl likes you as a person and respects you but doesn't have romantic feelings for you. She's not going to have the heart to come right out and tell you she's not interested. This is where the 'stringing along' part comes in. We as men have be wise and look for the signs. I believe it's actually a calculated maneuver on her part to break things off by manipulating YOU into walking. This way it puts the ball in your court, you break it off with her and then she walks away with a free ticket without any confrontation on her part.

 

The situation I'm in is having trouble setting up dates with a girl AND she's cancelled on me a few times. All are for legitimate reasons but that is besides the point. I called and asked her out for the weekend but she was busy. Very good so I asked for a date that night and she said yes. Here is where the play comes in. She knows if she says no to both nights it would be too obvious that she's breaking it off with me so instead she says yes to tonight but instead cancels two hours before the date spreading out the confrontation.

 

So I come out and tell her that I understand the "crisis" that has come up and I'm ok with that just as long as you're not trying to blow me off. She said not at all and later while texting I asked if I'm supposed to be taking a hint here. She said, no hints! She's sorry and she'll make it up to me!

 

I want to believe her. I really do. But I really feel like she's trying to force me to walk and doesn't have the heart to tell me she isn't interested. All the "honey and sweetie" talk is just that to me now. Talk! I'll give her one more chance to make it up to me this weekend but after that, DESPITE WHAT SHE SAYS I have to move on.

 

So is this over analysis or am I onto something here? I'm willing to be cool about it and work with this girl because I like her but I have no wind left in my sails. I don't even have the strength to ask her out again.

 

So let's just say I want to have a little fun with this and beat her at her own game. Any suggestions? I'm not going to confront her with "the talk" because I know that girls love that when they know they strung a guy and then dumped him. I'm not going to give her that satisfaction. "The talk" is something that has to be earned and she hasn't earned it.

 

I'm sure the advice will be to back off. Problem is I know if I back off she'll be texting me in like.... oh I don't know... by tonight. I also expect her to ask me to do something this weekend (which she already eluded to) So do I give this girl another or just launch?

[Disillusioned]

Just tell her that you know it won't work between the two of you, then move on.

[Left in a Lurch]

I'm going through this right now. I have told her multiple times I would move on if she wanted but always get the, "that's not what I want..." followed by being totally ignored. It's frustrating not knowing why they won't just take the out. The excuses get really lame too. Why give an excuse when someone tells you, "Hey, if you don't want to see me it's cool", it's SO much easier to say, "Yeah, I'm sorry. Take care".

 

I'd say launch, she'll do just enough to keep you pissed off and wondering over and over. She'll make plans with you this weekend and then probably try to subtly talk you out of it that day and if you don't cancel, she'll give you the, "Well let me call you back in a little bit I have another call...." bs then she won't call you back. If you call her out on it later... her phone will have died... her sister will have come over with a crisis... she will say she sent you a text (you obviously never get) and you never replied....

 

People like this are the worst kind. They know exactly what they are doing but they just don't care. They treat you worse than someone they hate simply because you were nice to them and liked them.

 

Not worth the trouble.

[Crazy Magnet]

Both of you (OP and Chat Room Hero) need to launch these girls ASAP. If a girl wants to be with you she will make SURE that she gets to see you. We don't put a guy off that we can't stop thinking about.

 

You made your interest known. The ball is in her court to do something with it. Don't initiate any more contact with this girl. Don't ask her out again. She canceled so SHE needs to reschedule the date, not you.

[ReturnToSender]

Not true... but I guess that with experience one does handle it differently. Also, Ive reached a point where I dont want to string someone along or waste annyones time. I have no issues with telling a guy I dont think its going to work out for us, and every time thats happened, he appreciated that I had the guts to just say so. Unfortunately, Ive yet to meet a guy with the same kind of guts...faaaaaaade awaaaaay syndrome. Ugh!

[nice-easy-day]

The ball is in her court to do something with it. Don't initiate any more contact with this girl. Don't ask her out again. She canceled so SHE needs to reschedule the date, not you.

 

Yep, that's what I'm going to do. If she doesn't reschedule over the weekend I'm out. I'll just sit back and wait for her to initiate contact and then tell her I'm done. Best part is she WILL initiate contact again. Because that's what these type of girls are like. They always come back to see if you're still breathing and give another beating.

[Sarah1977]

Bitter much?

[nice-easy-day]

Bitter much?

 

I don't know am I... what would you suggest to your friend if it was happening to them?

[Sarah1977]

I don't know am I... what would you suggest to your friend if it was happening to them?

 

 

I would say, "Get over it and move on." I would not say, "Gleefully go out of your way to reject her in order to fulfill some weirdo revenge fantasy."

 

Be the bigger man.