boco Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 My ex dumped me after 4 years together. I tried to get her back for last 2 months and made all the classic mistakes. In the last week She text me saying that it wouldn't work if we got back together. Then I seen her a work the next day she said that she misses me and still has feelings for me and that the last 4 years meant so much to her, I will always be special to her and made her happy. Confused? Then I found out that she has been on 3 or 4 dates with a guy in last few weeks. I feel like a jackass trying to get back when I found this out. So I just left it and did not contact her for a week then again I seen her at work and she asked me for a hug. later that night I got a text saying 'thank you I needed that' she asked if I have totally moved on I said I was getting there. Her reply was that she was trying to move on by seeing someone but it was hard to imagine what she had with me with someone else its taking time and she still cares about me.Now she asked to be friends and what's to go to lunch for a chat. I said it might not work out as friends as there is to much history between us. Her reply was she 'whats to really try and be friends and that we used to see each other everyday and then never. Then I got am not wanting you thinking I want to get back together. Can anyone tell me what's going on in this girls head? Is she trying to keep me for a back up?
worlybear Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 My ex dumped me after 4 years together. I tried to get her back for last 2 months and made all the classic mistakes. In the last week She text me saying that it wouldn't work if we got back together. Then I seen her a work the next day she said that she misses me and still has feelings for me and that the last 4 years meant so much to her, I will always be special to her and made her happy. Confused? Then I found out that she has been on 3 or 4 dates with a guy in last few weeks. I feel like a jackass trying to get back when I found this out. So I just left it and did not contact her for a week then again I seen her at work and she asked me for a hug. later that night I got a text saying 'thank you I needed that' she asked if I have totally moved on I said I was getting there. Her reply was that she was trying to move on by seeing someone but it was hard to imagine what she had with me with someone else its taking time and she still cares about me.Now she asked to be friends and what's to go to lunch for a chat. I said it might not work out as friends as there is to much history between us. Her reply was she 'whats to really try and be friends and that we used to see each other everyday and then never. Then I got am not wanting you thinking I want to get back together. Can anyone tell me what's going on in this girls head? Is she trying to keep me for a back up? Sadly, yes:mad:
Leandro Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Sadly, yes:mad: I agree. She is also using you to help herself move on.
Author boco Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 damn thats evil! gutted as i wanted it to workout. guess its time to move on and no NC
reknown29 Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 I am dealing with the exact same thing! its been 2 months. I just started no contact a week ago, though I responded to a text on Mon of her asking me if I was with someone else. I just basically said possibly. Didnt give her anything. Today she texted me again wanting to come over. I am not responding. Its hard to deal with someone who is so self-centered that they can break a 'loved ones?' heart and then use them for teheir own selfish needs. We both need to forget about these girls whatever great traits we may think they had. Move on. I repeat move on. NO contact. Listen to Outkast (the love below) if you have it. That will help.
Author boco Posted November 10, 2010 Author Posted November 10, 2010 What is with this girl? She sent me a drunken text saying ' i love you i always will' Then we talked on the phone and she said she is still confused to what she wants and is sorry cause its not fair on me. I think this all came round cause i said it wouldn't work us being friends. She started saying that she wears her bracelets cause they mean so much to her. really do not get it?
reservoirdog1 Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 Just serves to underline how important it is that you go NC with her. What she's doing is cruel and selfish. Yes, it sucks for her that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you but doesn't want to lose you from her life entirely... but that's her issue, not yours. You need to think about your own happiness, sanity and well-being.
Author boco Posted November 16, 2010 Author Posted November 16, 2010 bloody hell. I'm now getting drunken texts that she loves me and always will. I didn't reply and i got a text next day saying sorry for for texting me. We started texting back and forth she saying that she still miss me after 3 months and misses my hugs. What is this girl on? i have asked her to stop texting me as i still i believe she wants to be friends and is messing with my head. she said ok but no idea how long it will last. she actually wont let go
soleharmony1123 Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 Boco, it is as others have stated. She's using you as back-up in case her plans don't work out in the future. It would be wise (and mentally healthy) for you to start NC so that you can heal from her nonsense. She's really a troll..she doesn't want you and she wants to keep you stuck so that a worthy, deserving partner can't scoop you up. She can't commit to a relationship with you and she can't commit to NOT being in a relationship. She sounds as though she could be the evil female twin of my ex. lol! NC is the way - for healing and clarity. And get your hands on some positive, uplifting self-help books on this very subject (NC). What is with this girl? She sent me a drunken text saying ' i love you i always will' Then we talked on the phone and she said she is still confused to what she wants and is sorry cause its not fair on me. I think this all came round cause i said it wouldn't work us being friends. She started saying that she wears her bracelets cause they mean so much to her. really do not get it?
reknown29 Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 Dude, I've been dealing with this for three months now. Same thing. Its REALLY hard to not repond to her texts when she is begging to come over and then we have soft kisses and hug all night. I always think she is going to come back but I find that she has been seeing another guy this whole time. She says they are on agreement to see other people but knowing her that is a complete crock of bs. I am trying VERY hard to go NC and I suggest you do the same. When your girl finally hooks up with someone else you will go through day 1 of the heartbreak all over again. DONT DO THIS TO YOURSELF! Now I have to practice what I preach. I know I can do it.
Recommended Posts