MTA111 Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Me and my girlfriend split up 2 & 1/2 months ago. It was my fault, a couple of girls had sent me emails which I then responded to. They were a bit flirty, for reasons unknown she logged into my email account, found the messages, then proceeded to print them off and leave them spread out across my bed while I was at work. Very hollywood. We haven't seen each other since and when this happened she was absolutely heartbroken. We had only been together for a year but we were incredibly close. Anyway the next few days after we broke up she was calling me saying how upset she was, but she couldn't come back. I didn't get on with her parents so I was fighting a losing battle from the beginning. She was due to start uni in 2 weeks time from the day we broke up. Apart from the 3 days following the break-up, we didn't speak at all. I texted her to wish her good luck on the day she left for university which was met with a luke warm response. I was heartbroken by this point, because she had moved away, I still loved her very much and was having a really hard time letting go. She then text me a few weeks later on what would have been our anniversary and we spoke that night, but it was a fairly pointless conversation to be honest, just a normal chat. I never contacted her again but a few weeks later I got a text saying that she was coming home for the weekend, just in case I happened to be out. I said sorry I wouldn't be and had other plans, to which she replied "Bothered" lol Which by the way could not sound any less like her! Anyway, she came and went and I never saw her, which I initially regretted, but then came to think actually it's for the best, because what we had has gone, so there's no point putting myself back in that position. Since then I haven't contacted her once, but every week I seem to get a really pointless call or a text. For example, a couple of weeks ago she called me at 11 at night, while she was out, to tell me that a song that I used to listen to was on?!? WTF. She then followed that with, see I do still care. I just said great, bye, and ended the call as soon as possible so it lasted about 20 seconds. I kept up not contacting her, then last friday I got a text from her commenting on what some girl had written on my facebook, that she was upset about. Bearing in mind that I deleted her from my facebook when we first broke up, so she was clearly doing a bit of facebook stalking and then Text me. Apologies for the massive post, but the point is, why the hell is she still getting in touch every week, to just say pointless **** and then I don't hear from her again. I'm not really sure what to do, it's not a big problem, but it does take you back a step when your beginning to forget about someone and then they routinely get in touch to say random stuff. It's not even like she's striking up conversations, it's just pointless contact that shouldn't really be happening. I can only presume that as much as she's enjoying uni, she still misses me a little bit and is having a bit of trouble letting go. But to be fair, I'm in the same position and I could do without hearing from her until I'm 100% over everything I felt for her. Do you think it's best that next time I get anything from her, I just tell her to stop? Because there really is no chance of us getting back together, so it's all needless stress etc. Also if you do think that, what would be the best way to do it without looking like I'm still really upset about it? Any thoughts, interpretations from anyone would be greatly appreciated. MTA
PegNosePete Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Tell her to stop contacting you. Block her on facebook (not just remove friend). Then ignore any contact she tries to make. Eventually she'll get bored and move on.
Author MTA111 Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 I feel like I need to be a bit delicate with it though, purely for the fact that I can't start now being a d**k, when it was my fault we had broken up in the first place. But I do almost want her to either say "I still love you", which is still a bit stupid because it couldn't go anywhere, or alterntively I just want to say stop contacting me. How could you say it nicely? Without sounding like a little B**** lol...
WTRanger Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 It's not your fault. Unless you sent cock-pics or had sex over email, I'm sure she had flirted with a number of guys while you were dating and probably in real life. She broke into your email account for no reason. Is that the kind of person you want? I'd tell her to stop and if she continues you will not be responding. Tell her exactly what you said about needless stress. She's only doing this as a back-up male attention plan while she's transitioning to university.
Author MTA111 Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 Yeh your right she is. But believe me it was my fault, the emails were pretty bad! Anyway yeh, your right, maybe the best thing is to just not reply at all when she next gets in touch, then I don't have to be a d*ck, but she also gets the picture. Cheers, just needed to vent and have a second opinion.
JOYTOME Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Hey! I'm a bit surprised that people are advising you to be cold and mean to this girl, considering the circumstances if your breakup and the fact that your actions clearly hurt her. It was wrong of her to snoop into your emails and it is indicative of insecurity on her part. Also, I understand why her actions are beginning to piss you off. In my opinion (I might be wrong), I think she probably misses you and is reaching out to you, albeit in a very unproductive fashion... I reckon you should have a talk with her; apologize for hurting her and reassure her of your feelings for your ex, communicate with her and try to gain an understanding as to what she wants/desires and if there is a future for you two. Have a frank discussion with her and then take it from there. I don't think you should be rude to her or ignore her or any of those things. Don't forget she is hurting...(Not trying to put you on a guilt trip). :-)
WTRanger Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Hey! I'm a bit surprised that people are advising you to be cold and mean to this girl, considering the circumstances if your breakup and the fact that your actions clearly hurt her. It was wrong of her to snoop into your emails and it is indicative of insecurity on her part. Also, I understand why her actions are beginning to piss you off. In my opinion (I might be wrong), I think she probably misses you and is reaching out to you, albeit in a very unproductive fashion... I reckon you should have a talk with her; apologize for hurting her and reassure her of your feelings for your ex, communicate with her and try to gain an understanding as to what she wants/desires and if there is a future for you two. Have a frank discussion with her and then take it from there. I don't think you should be rude to her or ignore her or any of those things. Don't forget she is hurting...(Not trying to put you on a guilt trip). :-) Maybe, but the OP is clearly wanting to move on. At some point, you have to go cold. What you describe will only hurt her further as it will prolong this whole thing. It'll create false hope, etc. Just be truthful to her. Tell her it's not a good thing to stay in contact, that the two of you need to focus on your individual lives.
Recommended Posts