utterer of lies Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 I never thought I would do this. This is what I told her today: Cancelling this weekend. I can't see you because I can't prioritize you before my FWB. You have a boyfriend and you are too cool for a short fling or FWB. We click too well and have too many similar interests, we already talk endlessly over chat, but the time is just not right. It's all true, but I still feel guilty.
Titania22 Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Wow! That is really cool. Hopefully she can appreciate that level of honesty.
loverofloveandstuff Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 I never thought I would do this. This is what I told her today: Cancelling this weekend. I can't see you because I can't prioritize you before my FWB. You have a boyfriend and you are too cool for a short fling or FWB. We click too well and have too many similar interests, we already talk endlessly over chat, but the time is just not right. It's all true, but I still feel guilty. Did you say this to your friend?? I didn't really like the 'too cool for a short fling or FWB' thing part. Not liking you romantically has nothing to do with being 'too cool' and the way you wrote it sounds like that's all you'd ever want out of her - a fling or a FWB situation. Oh well, it's good that you stood up to her and told her how you feel though... Did you tell her by text or email or...? How did she respond?
Author utterer of lies Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 Did you say this to your friend?? She's a friend who wants to be more. I didn't really like the 'too cool for a short fling or FWB' thing part. Not liking you romantically has nothing to do with being 'too cool' and the way you wrote it sounds like that's all you'd ever want out of her - a fling or a FWB situation. It's complicated. I like her and we really get along well, but ... I don't see her as a gf right now. And I don't want her to cheat with me on her boyfriend, either. But I think there might be potential for something real in the future. However, right now I'm kinda stuck mentally with one girl and have a steady FWB with another, and she doesn't really fit into it. Oh well, it's good that you stood up to her and told her how you feel though... Did you tell her by text or email or...? How did she respond? I think you misunderstand. She wants to date, which I don't want, because I know I wouldn't be able to resist for too long =/. I told her in IM chat.
loverofloveandstuff Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Yeah sorry, totally misunderstood. Should've read your earlier post before I responded.
loverofloveandstuff Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 And you're not an *******.... Gotta be cruel to be kind.
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 I think you did the right thing too ... Ever considering simplifying your love life though? It sounds like kind of a quagmire ... you have a girl with a boyfriend who wants to date you and with whom you almost went away for a weekend; you have a FWB, and you are mentally "stuck" on another girl. Are you trying to sabotage any chance of getting into a relationship? I'm not saying that I think you are an a******!
Author utterer of lies Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 (edited) Ever considering simplifying your love life though? It sounds like kind of a quagmire ... you have a girl with a boyfriend who wants to date you and with whom you almost went away for a weekend; you have a FWB, and you are mentally "stuck" on another girl. Are you trying to sabotage any chance of getting into a relationship? Probably. The girl I'm stuck on lives in another town and is trouble. Problems with alcohol and cocaine, messy life, the whole thing. But I can't forget her eyes. Yes that sucks. The FWB is a cool, organized, educated girl, nurse originally but now studying chemistry and cell biology. She's the kind of girl that's good for me, I like her, sex is amazing, but .. dunno. Maybe something will develop out of it eventually, but for the moment, I told her not to expect more than a NSA fun. We'll see. And canceling is a step towards simplifying the mess Edited November 4, 2010 by utterer of lies
donnamaybe Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Oh, man, you have GOT to let that other girl out of your head. Seriously. She'll do nothing but f with your life until you can't stand the sight of those eyes. BUT - great show of integrity. Me likey!
Author utterer of lies Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 Oh, man, you have GOT to let that other girl out of your head. Seriously. She'll do nothing but f with your life until you can't stand the sight of those eyes. I'm not sure. Yes it seems obvious that she's bad news, but the best relationship I had in my life was with a girl of the same type, and it lasted for five years. Five years full of ups and downs and heaven and hell, but never boring or normal.
Crazy Magnet Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Trust me, there are women who aren't as messy who still still give you heaven or hell and never normal or boring! I don't think you are a ******* for telling this girl straight up what's going on. Better to be too honest than not honest at all. Thumbs up to you! But how did she respond?!?
donnamaybe Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 I'm not sure. Yes it seems obvious that she's bad news, but the best relationship I had in my life was with a girl of the same type, and it lasted for five years. Five years full of ups and downs and heaven and hell, but never boring or normal. But over, nonetheless.
Author utterer of lies Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 But how did she respond?!? She was sad, but understanding. But over, nonetheless. Yes. But - no regrets. It was worth it, all the pain and all the happiness. I rather have strong distinct good and bad memories than the kind-of-happy-kind-of-ok blur I have from other relationships.
mortensorchid Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Well, everything happens for a reason no matter how good or bad. I firmly believe that the things that are meant to be are meant to be, and there are a lot of things that are not meant to be. Hard lesson to learn for all of us, but whatever the case may be, it's what it is. You did the right thing in the long run.
donnamaybe Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Yes. But - no regrets. It was worth it, all the pain and all the happiness. I rather have strong distinct good and bad memories than the kind-of-happy-kind-of-ok blur I have from other relationships.But you CAN have it all.
Author utterer of lies Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 But you CAN have it all. Yeah, it seems so. Yesterday, I was waking up from my hangover, we had sex, had breakfast in bed, then I fell asleep again and when I woke again she was walking around naked, cleaning my place. I was like....wow.
Author utterer of lies Posted September 18, 2012 Author Posted September 18, 2012 But you CAN have it all. Ah well, maybe not. I kicked her out two weeks ago and broke up - after almost 2 years. While I do miss her presence, the fact that I'm feeling relieved and not sad shows me it was right. I think it's crazy girl time again
threebyfate Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 While this might encourage some men to become polyamorous, it most certainly dissuades women from getting involved with men of this ilk.
Author utterer of lies Posted September 18, 2012 Author Posted September 18, 2012 While this might encourage some men to become polyamorous, it most certainly dissuades women from getting involved with men of this ilk. Err....What?
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