OceanGirl Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 I have been corresponding with this guy from OKC for a week or a bit longer. I must admit, his profile is full of cliches (but it's not terrible or anything) but I REALLY liked his pictures. He is 6'3" and really cute. He seemed pretty quick with his responses and has been looking at my profile multiple times a day... So I decided to get to the point and asked him to meet up for a drink this weekend. This is his response...Eh, I think I should next him... Hey Oceangirl, I'd been keen to meet up for a drink some time although I'm fully booked this weekend and next weekend I think! I'm helping a mate move house on Sat and then catching up with some more mates on Sun for some drinks. Maybe we could meet up one night in the week? I haven't got any family here so my mates are my surrogate family - we look after each other (and lead each other astray!) What have you got to present on? How long do you have to do it for and to how many people? I always quite enjoyed presentations, but maybe not the size that yours will be! What would you do?
Eclypse Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Forgive my thick-headedness but what exactly is lame here? He is busy, but he suggested an alternative day. He's talking a bit about himself, and he's evidently asking you a question about your work? He seems alright..
Els Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 If you notice, the OP has a penchant for picking up the tiniest wee hints to signify the remotest possibility of 'him not being into me enough' and nexting guys for it. I don't see what's so bad about a guy not canceling previously-arranged meetings with his mates just to be able to date her on a weekend either. Especially since they're not even together and haven't even met yet.
denise_xo Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Forgive my thick-headedness but what exactly is lame here? He is busy, but he suggested an alternative day. He's talking a bit about himself, and he's evidently asking you a question about your work? He seems alright.. Ditto. If you think he's cute, just go for it and take it from there.
Tim The Enchanter Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 I don't see what the problem is. He's asked questions about your life which to me shows interest.
Citizen Erased Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Find an Aussie guy that doesn't say mate. Damn that irritates me. They're called FRIENDS.
Eclypse Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 He's clearly an Aussie bloke. Now I'm gonna go get some beers and hop into me ute and go to a mates bbq and try meet some sheilas. I think if he ever cooks you dinner and he's holding a knife you should say: "You call that a knife... THIS is a knife" and pull out a spoon.
Citizen Erased Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 He's clearly an Aussie bloke. Now I'm gonna go get some beers and hop into me ute and go to a mates bbq with an esky full of VB and try meet some sheilas. That's more like it.
Eclypse Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 I stand corrected! Actually... it's almost toolies season again... *strokes chin*
welikeincrowds Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 I love being awake at the same time as Australians What a ridiculous continent
Citizen Erased Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Don't they call bbqs 'barbie's, too? Depends on how bogan they are I stand corrected! Actually... it's almost toolies season again... *strokes chin* To the Gold Coast!
harmfulsweetz Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Give him a chance. He didn't cancel, just rearranged. He may be even cuter in person.
TheMENemy Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 (edited) Ocean Girl, my take on it, is that this guy is either involved with another woman/women and is busy with them over the weekend; or, he is running some "Game" on you, "negging" you, so you chase him. On the chance that he's trying to run "game" on you, I would politely respond that no, sorry, the weekend is when you're available, you're busy during the week (work obligations and such) and if he's unable to make ANY time for you (and how much are we really talking about, a couple of hours? He can't make time for you because he has to hang with his buddies? Ridiculous!) you completely understand. Then, move on. Either he values you enough to make an hour or two of time or he doesn't. If he has a gf, which I think is THE MOST LIKELY reason he can't see you, you don't want to see him anyway I presume. The whole "I have to hang out with my bros" is so often a total LIE that you can pretty much ALWAYS reject that as a valid explanation for unavailability on a guy's part. This is not a wedding or an important occasion that he can't miss for a friend. This is just "hanging out" with his friends, supposedly. Any of his "male friends" would TELL him to go out on the date with you rather than waste time doing stupid guy stuff, they would call him an idiot for giving up a chance to be with a woman, so I think that part of it is complete b.s. Edited November 4, 2010 by TheMENemy
loverofloveandstuff Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 I stand corrected! Actually... it's almost toolies season again... *strokes chin* Naw, this year I fall into the toolies category. Last year it was SCHOOLIES! Good times.....................great classic hits, gold104 hahahaha.
Leigh 87 Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 I have a limited experience with actually interacting with men, however, I do know that if a guy is interested, he will eventually make time for you. The fact he has other plans does not mean he is showing lack of interest. He could be telling the truth, and if he is in fact interested in you, he will arrange to catch up with you, if he wants to get to know you better. So long as you show that you are interested, he will follow it up if he wants to. Although some guys DO dismiss women in a similar way to how this guy wrote to you. HOwever, it is too early for you to make any assumptions; some guys do politely decline a womens advances through writing similar or identicle things to what this guy wrote to you, however, many guys do NOT, and ARE telling the truth when they say they are busy.
Star Gazer Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 There is absolutely nothing lame about his message whatsoever. You suggested you two meet up, and what did he do? He told you when he's available!! And then he continued to ask questions to get to know you better! Let me guess. You expected him to be sooooooo smitten with you, someone he's never met, that he'd ditch his friends, prior plans and obligations, just to get a drink or something with you on the days you suggested (presumably this weekend). HE isn't being lame. Your expectations are grossly unreasonable.
Sarah1977 Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 I agree with Star. I can't imagine anyone falling so in love with an Internet profile that they'll blow off their real life friends and obligations just to meet them once. And if they did fall that in love with a profile on the Internet? I would think THAT was lame.
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 I agree with Star too. Truly, a cool guy or girl does NOT throw plans with their long-standing friends out the window at the appearance of an attractive potential date. There have been several mentions here on the Dating forum where people have said that they NEVER use their weekends for "meet-ups." Please don't buy into the idea that because he's not jumping to the meeting that he is married or has a girlfriend, or does not "value" you enough. THAT is what's lame. Yes, he might have a girlfriend or be married. I hope not. You'll find out later. This is not a "clue." And he can't "value" you more than his friends now. He has never met you! I hope you will meet him during the week (unless you really meant what you said a few weeks ago about taking a serious break from dating to work on yourself).
Crazy Magnet Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 I never scheduled a first meet up from an online dating site on a weekend night. Who wants to potentially waste a night of fun on a lame date. Go for a short date during the week day and then you have more of a chance to escape if it's awful. ex: Oh, gee, look at the time *yawn here* and I have to be at work so early! Gotta run! I don't think it's lame at all. I think you are over-reading/misreading things. He sounds normal, this sounds normal. Don't next a normal one! They are few and far between. It sounds like you are wanting some guy to come running to you and that isn't realistic. He's never even MET you. He has a whole world and life outside of emailing and meeting you so please respect that. That sounds harsh, but I'm just trying to get you back in reality.
Star Gazer Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 It sounds like you are wanting some guy to come running to you and that isn't realistic. As stated in several of her other threads, that IS her expectation. She wants a demonstably unreasonably high level of interest from the very beginning. Like everyone else here, while I've done it before, I try to not schedule online dates/meets for the weekend (unless my workweeks are indefinitely booked (like if I'm traveling for work for an extended period)). It may sound mean, but in general, I have better things to do on a weekend than meet up with a stranger...like hang out with existing friends. *shrug* Sounds like this guy is the same way.
Sarah1977 Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 She wants a demonstably unreasonably high level of interest from the very beginning. Personally, I think a guy that would do this is probably a little psycho.
threebyfate Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 He seemed pretty quick with his responses and has been looking at my profile multiple times a day Interest. I'm fully booked this weekend and next weekend Game. Trying to act cool. I'd respond like this: "Blah, blah, blah, presentation, blah. I've got a pretty busy schedule during the week. Sounds like you've got a lot of things going right now. Give me a shout when you've got more time. :)"
Star Gazer Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Interest. Game. Trying to act cool. I'd respond like this: "Blah, blah, blah, presentation, blah. I've got a pretty busy schedule during the week. Sounds like you've got a lot of things going right now. Give me a shout when you've got more time. :)" So you're suggesting she play a game, because of the ASSumption that he's playing a game rather than just not wanting to make her, a stranger, a priority over existing friends??
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