fun2bewith Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 It was an awesome relationship only problem, we could only see each other 2-4 months per year in total. (but we made sure we created memories). We were together for 14 months...She made the mistake of cheating (kissing / emotional cheating). She had guilt but I gave her comfort and I think closure aswel...I went NC (10 days now) but told her I would go NC for 3 months(she sugested 7 months). (stupid ! I Know). I still believe she misses me... Should I stay in her life(make contact) after 3 months and still travel with her to different countries in the world creating awesome memories? Eventhough she might or will have a new boyfriend? I will not try anything just as friends, but I want to be a positive influence in her life and hopefully more one day... I love this girl like 1 Corinthians 13 verse 4 and I am not even religious...
gemmie Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 "I will not try anything"???????????? Let's cut to the chase - you still love her. That's okay but call it what it is. Would you really and truly in the deepest part of your heart be okay as friends when you know that at night she may be going home with a boyfriend she adores? I can't think of one guy who would be okay with that. Here's my opinion - you're either on or off. You have either made a commitment to each other to be together or you haven't. You should have a heart to heart with her and find out where she's at emotionally. The short time you get to spend with her is a worry to me too - how can you be consistently investing in and nurturing your relationship when you only get limited time together, nomatter how memorable. It's kind of like a holiday romance - fun while it lasts but good things do come to and end. For me, I need more than a part-time boyfriend. I want to be able to call someone at 2am and ask him to come over just cos I miss him, or surprise him with a picnic at his work, or be with him when he has the flu. Maybe its time to find someone who can be your 24/7 girl. Good luck!
strength-abounds Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Well fun, I have 1 Corinthians Chapter 13, Verse 4-7 tattooed on my arm and I understand what you are trying to say. However, the last line of this famous says "ALWAYS PERSEVERES". Yet you dumped her when she kissed another man. The scripture also say "KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS." Yet, you dumped her when she kissed another dude. Loving someone in accordance with 1 Corinthians and believing in the message that 1 Corinthians sends are two entirely different scenarios. It's honorable to love someone with the power of 1 Corinthians. Just don't confuse love with jealousy or lust. If you think you can manage being her friend in hopes of reconciliation in future, then go for it. Good Luck and God Bless.
Leandro Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 she suggested 7 months of NC. Sounds like she kinda had it planned. When did she cheat on you?
Author fun2bewith Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 she suggested 7 months of NC. Sounds like she kinda had it planned. When did she cheat on you? She cheated on me about 13 days ago, but she had been seeing this guy 2 weeks before the kissing incedent...She did tell me about the guy but I ignored the red lights and told her it is okay to have friends, but I shot myself in the foot by not being the jealous boyfriend!
Author fun2bewith Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 Well fun, I have 1 Corinthians Chapter 13, Verse 4-7 tattooed on my arm and I understand what you are trying to say. However, the last line of this famous says "ALWAYS PERSEVERES". Yet you dumped her when she kissed another man. The scripture also say "KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS." Yet, you dumped her when she kissed another dude. Loving someone in accordance with 1 Corinthians and believing in the message that 1 Corinthians sends are two entirely different scenarios. It's honorable to love someone with the power of 1 Corinthians. Just don't confuse love with jealousy or lust. If you think you can manage being her friend in hopes of reconciliation in future, then go for it. Good Luck and God Bless. Well I know I should listen to your advice...Yes it is true, I should keep no record of wrongs and in the future I hope that I could erase the records and I think I will be able to...The one thing I can do is to persevere...but I would not like to believe that I was jealous, I gave her freedom... Thank you for your advice!
Leandro Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 She cheated on me about 13 days ago, but she had been seeing this guy 2 weeks before the kissing incedent...She did tell me about the guy but I ignored the red lights and told her it is okay to have friends, but I shot myself in the foot by not being the jealous boyfriend! Being a jealous boyfriend shows that you don't trust your girlfriend. There are tons of girls who would probably want a non-jealous boyfriend like you. 7 months? That's just a weird number I think.
Author fun2bewith Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 "I will not try anything"???????????? Let's cut to the chase - you still love her. That's okay but call it what it is. Would you really and truly in the deepest part of your heart be okay as friends when you know that at night she may be going home with a boyfriend she adores? I can't think of one guy who would be okay with that. Here's my opinion - you're either on or off. You have either made a commitment to each other to be together or you haven't. You should have a heart to heart with her and find out where she's at emotionally. The short time you get to spend with her is a worry to me too - how can you be consistently investing in and nurturing your relationship when you only get limited time together, nomatter how memorable. It's kind of like a holiday romance - fun while it lasts but good things do come to and end. For me, I need more than a part-time boyfriend. I want to be able to call someone at 2am and ask him to come over just cos I miss him, or surprise him with a picnic at his work, or be with him when he has the flu. Maybe its time to find someone who can be your 24/7 girl. Good luck! What you say is the logical thing to do... I should cut my losses and go... Gee I do love that girl! I just don't want to give up on her...but maybe I will get to my senses soon! I will follow your advice about having the the heart to heart with her in a few months time, maybe I will get closure and move on without a doubt..Thank you for the reply...
Author fun2bewith Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 Being a jealous boyfriend shows that you don't trust your girlfriend. There are tons of girls who would probably want a non-jealous boyfriend like you. 7 months? That's just a weird number I think. Come to think of it. She wanted me to break up with her, she created senarios to distance herself from me...the cheating might have been a way she could cut herself off from me emotionaly( but that is negative thinking)...Or I might just be paranoid...Anyway the good thing about talking about one's ex, is that sooner or later I will get sick of talking about her and get on with my life... Thanks for your input!
Leandro Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Come to think of it. She wanted me to break up with her, she created senarios to distance herself from me...the cheating might have been a way she could cut herself off from me emotionaly( but that is negative thinking)...Or I might just be paranoid...Anyway the good thing about talking about one's ex, is that sooner or later I will get sick of talking about her and get on with my life... Thanks for your input! Yea, try not to worry about it. you're better off without her. If you want to be friends that's up to you.
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