harkkam Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Guys its been six months since my breakup and I can say that I am not doing as well as I would have liked. We were together for a year. I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt that me and her will never be seing each other again. Through what she has said and expressed so logically I know its stupid to think that we would even talk again let alone be together. However my heart has not let her go. I just dont know how to make my heart listen to my mind. I keep having memories of us together and I sit on my deck and I feel the breeze and it just feels like she is next to me. I try not to but my mind re-lives moments we shared together. Little snippets. A few seconds when we were on a mountain top making love, or when we were in a busy city street and I reached out for her hand, or when I was holding on to the railing in an ice skating rink and watched her skate toward me. My heart just keeps telling me she is the one and I will regret for the rest of my life if I let her go. I think thats part of the reason that I am having trouble. But worst of all are just the millions of memories and innocent unimportant memories that pop into my head, like when she was waiting for me when I went to the mens restroom and I come back out and see her standing there with a smile on her face. I dont know what to do. My heart and soul believes that she was the one I was supposed to be with. Not go forth without her but my mind knows its over. What do I do. Im stuck Ive done all the things to distract myself but its not so much shock or pain that has me now, but this longing and desire to re-claim what was lost even when logic is staring me in the face. I guess you can say acceptance and peace
thatsonlyme Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 This is exactly the way I feel! I'm a person who easily forgets stuff, but every moment of our relationship is very vivid in my memory! As I'm passing by familiar places I can almost see us there from a bystanders perspective! Every park we visited, street we walked or even a stupid grocery store brings back memories! There is no place to hide! The funny thing though is that I don't feel bad being around her. We started seeing each other more and more because of all the things we have to take care of before she leaves to LA, but I don't feel anything like urge to kiss her or touch her. I don't even hug her when when we meet. It seems like my memories are hunting me and I don't really want HER anymore.
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