bsilmb Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 hi, so I met this girl at homecoming about a month ago. it turns out she's partially deaf but can hear just fine with cochlear implants. we texted for hours and hours and hung out a few times at football games since then. tonight she came to the game and about halfway through, I asked her out. she said yes and asked what I'd like to do first. she mentioned movies, dinner, something like that. so what exactly should I do? I'm pretty sure it will be just me and her, but there may be a friend initially. so she's getting her license soon. I just need good advice on dates, and when to start kissing and being more intimate. we hug on a regular basis, but I'd like to hold her hand and things like that. any advice would be wonderful, thank you! so we've texted every day for at least 3-4 hours a day, never really running out of things to say. I tell her how pretty she is and stuff of that sort(I mean every word of it) yesterday we hung out all day. we cuddled around a fire, then cuddled while watching paranormal activity (I had my arm around her, we were really close, like kissing distance) how do I stay romantic but not clingy? how many dates before I go for a kiss? how to not seem desperate, but also seem in love? we mainly hang out on weekends, and are going on our first real date this weekend. probably dinner and a movie. please give some advice ladies. I've never felt this way about anyone (: we live about 20 minutes from each other. I would do anything to stay with her. I think I've actually found a girl who's right for me. just how can WE stay together? so the plan is it's a double date, go to the mall (where there's a theater) see the movie, then go eat some place in the mall. it's cheap but should be fun. so i've never really kissed a girl, but I think I should do it on our first "official" date at some point. so when should I do it? dinner, movie? and how should I go about doing it? like the circumstances in which to do it. thanks
sanskrit Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 It's a different generation, sure, but try to tone down the contact with a new person before several dates are under the bridge. Texting for hours a day builds false intimacy, can build unrealistic expectations on one or both sides, and can also end up boring one or both people. She texts all day with her GFs, be different. As far as early date ideas, active things are best. Something that involves walking and talking, rather than sitting and staring or a dinner somewhere. Dinner/movie dates are not best. Try to have a "walking around date" and then go for appetizers somewhere. Try to sit at the bar as opposed to across a table so she can touch you and to cut down on the "formal dining" vibe. If there is going to be food, make it a sideline of the date, not the focus.
Tim The Enchanter Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 I concur with Sanskrit. I'd also like to add that there is no set time for when you should go for the kiss. In fact, I don't even believe in the idea of "going for the kiss", because when I've kissed a girl, it's simply just happened. You don't think about it, it just occurs because you're enjoying each others company and there is a strong attraction/chemistry between you.
Author bsilmb Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 It's a different generation, sure, but try to tone down the contact with a new person before several dates are under the bridge. Texting for hours a day builds false intimacy, can build unrealistic expectations on one or both sides, and can also end up boring one or both people. She texts all day with her GFs, be different. As far as early date ideas, active things are best. Something that involves walking and talking, rather than sitting and staring or a dinner somewhere. Dinner/movie dates are not best. Try to have a "walking around date" and then go for appetizers somewhere. Try to sit at the bar as opposed to across a table so she can touch you and to cut down on the "formal dining" vibe. If there is going to be food, make it a sideline of the date, not the focus. well we get along just fine in person without any real problems. she's deaf so it's hard to really talk on the phone or anything. we are going to the mall, so after the movie we will be walking around and talking for a few hours. would that be a good time to go for a kiss? thanks for the advice!
Author bsilmb Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 well we get along just fine in person without any real problems. she's deaf so it's hard to really talk on the phone or anything. we are going to the mall, so after the movie we will be walking around and talking for a few hours. would that be a good time to go for a kiss? thanks for the advice! keep in mind we are young, so we aren't able to go into a club or bar environment. is a mall for a few hours plus a movie a good idea? we can hang out and talk to bond, but also relax in a light hearted movie. then maybe a kiss towards the end?
sanskrit Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 When it's first kiss time, I usually go in early in the date. Maybe even at the start if she is giving buying signals. There's all kinds of ways to set this up, lean in and say, "do you see something on my lips?" then "look closer," with a cheezy grin if she doesn't kiss you. Sometimes telling her to kiss you is all you need to do. One of the famous PUA tricks is to just tap on your cheek with your finger and lean into her a little. Then after tapping on your cheek and she kisses you, tap on your lips and then grin. I don't do that particular one (there are so many), but have seen it used to great effect. Point is to make it a fun game rather than a stressor Anyway, there's tons of "first kiss" stuff on the net, just google "getting the first kiss." Never ever whine, look pouty or angry, if a girl won't kiss you when you tell her to or when you initiate it. In fact, act as if it was your plan that she -not- kiss you then and there. Then do the same "is there something on my lips?" routine or any of the hundreds of others a bit later. If she likes you, she will kiss you eventually, and if you do it right, in a playful way, you will both have lots of fun from this aspect of the date alone. Good luck to you.
Author bsilmb Posted November 5, 2010 Author Posted November 5, 2010 When it's first kiss time, I usually go in early in the date. Maybe even at the start if she is giving buying signals. There's all kinds of ways to set this up, lean in and say, "do you see something on my lips?" then "look closer," with a cheezy grin if she doesn't kiss you. Sometimes telling her to kiss you is all you need to do. One of the famous PUA tricks is to just tap on your cheek with your finger and lean into her a little. Then after tapping on your cheek and she kisses you, tap on your lips and then grin. I don't do that particular one (there are so many), but have seen it used to great effect. Point is to make it a fun game rather than a stressor Anyway, there's tons of "first kiss" stuff on the net, just google "getting the first kiss." Never ever whine, look pouty or angry, if a girl won't kiss you when you tell her to or when you initiate it. In fact, act as if it was your plan that she -not- kiss you then and there. Then do the same "is there something on my lips?" routine or any of the hundreds of others a bit later. If she likes you, she will kiss you eventually, and if you do it right, in a playful way, you will both have lots of fun from this aspect of the date alone. Good luck to you. great advice man! I've been reading some tuff on the Internet and watching a couple vids, and I think i've got a pretty good idea of how and when to do it now. I hope it all goes well, but I'm not gonna fret about it
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