Tayla Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Warning: A tad long So six weeks ago I filed a concern of grievance with the HR department. The HR department was informed of My married boss's liason with a co-worker that interferrs with work ethics and overall policy of intimate relations in the work environment. HR agreed to confront the matter. Its now six weeks later and they refuse to give the results of this grievance. They neither acknowledge contacting the boss or sharing if anything was resolved. By all current actions He is still having his tryst in the one office area and has no qualms in taking his girl friday on adventures while he is to be on work time. He is part owner of the business . Its extremely uncomfortable to watch them give those lovey gestures in a group meeting or how they giggle and run off to the private conference room with a do not disturb on office time. I've caught them on occassion in embraces and moments that created that extreme awkwardness for all.....I do not care for the female co worker as she is all about the money and special perks she gets from his special treatment. I am not the first to address this as many of my associates have commented and noticed this behavior...Ive been told to mind my own business and let him be. My current attitude is 'this is a business and my boss has a duty to be a leader to the staff and this behavior doesn't equate to such'. I'm tired of this tomfoolery and prefer that they keep there hands to themselves at least at the workplace...Its un-nerving when his endearing wife shows up and I have to pretend that the workplace is a pleasant place....It could be but its not with this antic going on at the office. HR just wants to hide their face in the sand and hopes it goes away....I like my professional duties but I sure didnt sign up for this. Leaving is NOT an option ...family obligations... IS there no legal stance I can take if my boss fires me once I do confront him to keep that activity off the clock time? Each week that I get a paycheck I feel like its hush money to stay quiet but if I speak up.,,,,,the paycheck goes away and so does the job.....catch22 I suppose... Your feedback is welcomed!!
Minnie09 Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 I feel for you. However, it seems that HR are covering his (and her) a**. Otherwise, you would've heard some kind of a reply, I suppose. Who filed the complaint? If it was you, you might have to expect to be "bullied out", if not let go officially. With him being in a leadership position as a part-owner, I don't think there's anything you can do. Sure, you can try to go the legal way (through court, if need be), but if you win the whole thing, there's probably not much to come back to. This situation absolutely sucks. But I think you'll have to stick it out until the A is over and she gets fired..... It might take a while, but it will happen, unless he gets a D and makes their R official. Then it might get even worse for you. Try to ignore them. (I know I know ...)
Star Gazer Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 When in private practice, I represented a client with nearly identical facts to yours - only worse in the sense of the hostile environment it created, in ways I cannot describe here. The case was based on a couple of theories. One theory was paramour discrimination - that my client was being discriminated against in favor of his mistress. Thing is, my client and the mistress were of the same gender, and being a lover isn't a protected class. Another theory was harassment, but any sexual conduct was directed towards the mistress, and not my client. Therefore, there were no grounds for a sexual harassment suit. Further, a retaliation/wrongful termination claim requires that the employee file a complaint/grievance about a "protected activity" (something protected by law, such as gender discrimination). There is no protection against favoritism or cronyism in favor of lovers (at least not under California or most Federal law). Violation of company policy isn't enough. Anyway... The case was iffy, IMO...and was ultimately dismissed by the Court via summary judgment (we lost).
johan Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 You probably did all you could do. In fact, I would have advised against filing a complaint at all. I really think that unless you are making a stand on some great principle for the good of society, then the benefit of ratting the boss out is probably not worth the cost. Your only real complaint is that you have to face behavior that makes you feel disgusted and uncomfortable. But otherwise, it's not really damaging to the company. Your best option is to transfer to another group or find another company to work for. Now you have to consider what kind of reference these people would provide.
OpenBook Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 So six weeks ago I filed a concern of grievance with the HR department. The HR department was informed of My married boss's liason with a co-worker that interferes with work ethics and overall policy of intimate relations in the work environment... Its now six weeks later and they refuse to give the results of this grievance. They neither acknowledge contacting the boss or sharing if anything was resolved... He is part owner of the business. Uh-Oh. I'd be furiously updating my resume and scouring the job boards for another position if I were you. PRONTO. GET OUT OF THERE STAT. Your days are numbered at that company.
Author Tayla Posted November 5, 2010 Author Posted November 5, 2010 You probably did all you could do. In fact, I would have advised against filing a complaint at all. I really think that unless you are making a stand on some great principle for the good of society, then the benefit of ratting the boss out is probably not worth the cost. Your only real complaint is that you have to face behavior that makes you feel disgusted and uncomfortable. But otherwise, it's not really damaging to the company. Your best option is to transfer to another group or find another company to work for. Now you have to consider what kind of reference these people would provide. Johan, I sincerely think you represent many of a male attitude when it was decided that Bill Clinton did NO wrong in playing Cigars with Monica...Gee where were you when he needed an advisor??? Seriously I cringe that your attitude is one of accusation for "ratting" someone out verses making a stance on behavior and the tomfoolery that clearly interferes in the work environment . Next time you are in a business meeting and you have a client show up but your associate is busy sitting there feeling up the co workers bosoms...gee that is completely acceptable in your world?? Remind me not to vacation there in your la la land....
Author Tayla Posted November 5, 2010 Author Posted November 5, 2010 When in private practice, I represented a client with nearly identical facts to yours - only worse in the sense of the hostile environment it created, in ways I cannot describe here. The case was based on a couple of theories. One theory was paramour discrimination - that my client was being discriminated against in favor of his mistress. Thing is, my client and the mistress were of the same gender, and being a lover isn't a protected class. Another theory was harassment, but any sexual conduct was directed towards the mistress, and not my client. Therefore, there were no grounds for a sexual harassment suit. Further, a retaliation/wrongful termination claim requires that the employee file a complaint/grievance about a "protected activity" (something protected by law, such as gender discrimination). There is no protection against favoritism or cronyism in favor of lovers (at least not under California or most Federal law). Violation of company policy isn't enough. Anyway... The case was iffy, IMO...and was ultimately dismissed by the Court via summary judgment (we lost). Thank you Star for being straight forward and upfront on a past case. So basically a person can fool around in the office...who would have thought we've come so far and so low ....
johan Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Johan, I sincerely think you represent many of a male attitude when it was decided that Bill Clinton did NO wrong in playing Cigars with Monica...Gee where were you when he needed an advisor??? Seriously I cringe that your attitude is one of accusation for "ratting" someone out verses making a stance on behavior and the tomfoolery that clearly interferes in the work environment . Next time you are in a business meeting and you have a client show up but your associate is busy sitting there feeling up the co workers bosoms...gee that is completely acceptable in your world?? Remind me not to vacation there in your la la land.... I'm no chauvinist. But the people you are dealing with might be. Or they might not care. Or they might be worried for their own jobs. The problem is you have no case, because nothing happened to you. I think you're being idealistic about what HR is actually willing to confront. You have to pick your battles, and I'm not convinced this is one for you to pick. Until employee performance is affected or the customer is dissatisfied, there are some personnel issues that aren't going to get attention. And you risk building resentment from others when you decide you need to go after the immorality and ethics issues. Those others are people who support your career. Including the ones who you are fingering. You weren't personally molested or asked to participate. None of it has anything to do with you. You just know it's going on, and it bothers you. Maybe for good reasons and maybe because you're reaching beyond your job description. But it's not enough to base a case on. Now if you want to move on, they could be called for references, and what are they going to say? You'll never know. And when annual review time rolls around, don't expect a big reward. They can contrive performance issues you never even considered.
laRubiaBonita Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 i would hope it was kept in confidence that it was you who filed the complaint. but the same confidence has to be awarded to the other party, in that HR should not disclose to you what became of it.
Minnie09 Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 i would hope it was kept in confidence that it was you who filed the complaint. but the same confidence has to be awarded to the other party, in that HR should not disclose to you what became of it. In a perfect world, sure. However, since the complaint was filed about a part-owner of the company, there may be some problems coming up for the OP. HR is just another department/group of people on the owner's payroll, just like everybody else working for him.
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