mysticmeg1 Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 i would really appreciate feedback on this thread... i have been in a relationship for almost 3 years now although me and my boyfriend love each other very much sometimes we seem to lack trust in each other..without actually admitting it!!we have a really good bond, but sometimes i find him sweeping through my phone.. scrolling through my laptop even though i have nothing to hide! this makes me feel some what violated it upsets me to know that he feels the need to do this! although he doesn't know i have caught him on several occasions i dont want to bring this up as i might be making something out of nothing... to make a long story short there is an age gap between us me being younger i felt a bit insecure when we first went out we live in a small town and i heard he had a reputation of been quite a ladys man but never having a long term relationship as such as previous girlfriends often hurt him leaving him the way he is vunerable and a tad bit paranoid..i would be his first real relationship so as best we could we made a go of things and have shocked most people who looked down at me for being a bit young for him but this really isn't the case were quite a match for eachother!! however i too had my fair share of bad expeirences and find it hard to put full faith in him i find it hard to let myself go and actually love him without questioning it! is this normal?? or am i being paranoid because of previous disaterous relationships i often wondered for such a wonderful bloke why it never worked out for him with anybody else.. has anyone else felt this way????????????????????????????
Lemontang Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Yes I think they do. If anything you learn by your past relationships and know what to look for come next time around. I've had some great relationships and in some ways maybe I was a bit naive or ignorant at times picking up some signs on some. But with one ex of mine she would go through my phone and emails as well questioning me about any interactions with females and at times deleting some from my phone (who were mostly work contacts). She clearly had trust issues, but as it turned out she was really only covering her own tracks as she was sleeping around with randoms. So be weary in the sense when someone has to go out of there way to say they are trust worthy or constantly brings your trust to question...etc... I'd be ringing the alarm bells.
Sivok Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Ofcourse. When you become heavily invested in a relationship and then end up having a horrible fallout which leaves you emotionally damaged for months or longer, it takes a very long time to allow yourself to build the capability to trust again. Sometimes it just never happens.
Author mysticmeg1 Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 thank you both for taking the time to read this..i totally agree with (sivok) as trust can take time to build and seconds to break.. and it is also true what (lemontang) had said, i have if anything definitley learnt to watch out for things that look iffy in a relationship although there is no evidence at that ther is strain in our relationship!! but i really dont understand why he feels the need to go through my things its a bit late to have doubts 3 years on in a relationship im not sure if its just a phase he's going through or does he actually need to do it for piece of mind! but time will surely tell its not a major concern! as i have also got trust issues from the past but try my best to keep them there..! i think in every relationship you should be aware of changes in each other its healthy but can also prevent future problems thanks for the advice guys:)
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