LiaPrincess Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 To make a long story short my boyfriend and I got into an argument while drunk. It was about the time he's spending with his friends vs with me. Anyways I got irritated and so slapped him. It created a sound but didn't think it was hard till I saw his some redness on his face. It went away after several minutes but then I was left all alone. He actually walked away on me without even saying goodnight nor anything. This happened 3 days ago and he's still not talking to me. So is it going to be like this, me getting this silent treatment and him not taking my calls. It was just a slap and it's not like I'm posing a threat to society nor getting into fights. This was just a one timer thing which I simply got angry and it happened.
GorillaTheater Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 "Just get over it"? If he's smart, he'll never contact you again. You may want to re-examine the value of hitting people you supposedly care about, for the sake of your future relationships.
Sarah1977 Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 I'd be done with you, period. In fact, you're lucky he didn't call the cops on you. Just because you're a woman doesn't give you the right to physically assault him. If I were a man, I would have a zero tolerance policy for dealing with such trashy, insecure behavior. No wonder he'd rather spend more time with his friends than you. If dude knows what is good for him, he'd find him a woman with a bit of respect and self control.
theBrokenMuse Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 It was just a slap and it's not like I'm posing a threat to society nor getting into fights. This was just a one timer thing which I simply got angry and it happened. It's a pitiful rationalization to say that because you got angry it 'happened'. You got angry and made a conscious decision to engage in violent behavior - own it. A one time thing is enough for some people. If a man ever slapped me, I would leave him and never look back and I don't blame a male in the least for reaching that same conclusion. The best thing you can do from this experience is learn from it. Start taking measures to get your temper under enough control so that nothing like this will ever happen again in the future no matter how much you have been drinking or how badly you feel during an argument.
Author LiaPrincess Posted November 3, 2010 Author Posted November 3, 2010 I do acknowledge to having certain insecurities issues. Who wouldn't after seeing both parents cheat on each other, finding out two friends were talking smack about me the while time, I've cheated on before twice by two different men and my supervisor giving everyone of us a hard time (she's not even nice to her own adult children). I know it won't happen again but didn't think he would take it this level. So what do I do now? I don't wanna lose him over this.
carhill Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Take this quiet time to reflect upon how to better handle such situations in the future. Consider drinking less. He's processing your value to him right now. It's best if he does that alone. During one of your attempted calls, did you leave a VM apologizing for your battery upon him? If yes, leave it at that. If not, make such an apology then leave him alone. Good luck
Sarah1977 Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 I do acknowledge to having certain insecurities issues. Who wouldn't after seeing both parents cheat on each other, finding out two friends were talking smack about me the while time, I've cheated on before twice by two different men and my supervisor giving everyone of us a hard time (she's not even nice to her own adult children). I know it won't happen again but didn't think he would take it this level. So what do I do now? I don't wanna lose him over this. Regardless of your past, you have no excuse to hit someone. What can you do? Quit making excuses for your shoddy behavior, get down on your knees, and do some groveling. Personally, I'd still leave you. If your boyfriend feels the same, you're going to have to accept it and move on. Try not to hit your next boyfriend.
utterer of lies Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Oh come on, what's with all the condescension towards her. So she slapped him. It's not the end of the world. Her boyfriend should stop acting like a pussy.
theBrokenMuse Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Oh come on, what's with all the condescension towards her. So she slapped him. It's not the end of the world. Her boyfriend should stop acting like a pussy. Having physical violence as a dealbreaker isn't being a "pussy". It's being intelligent.
waynebrady Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 If he slapped you for the same thing then what would you have done? Many women such as yourself seems to think it's ok to hit men just because you are a woman... Shure it will barely hurt to be slapped by a woman but it's not that, it's more because it shows what a lack of class you have. If you where a man and you made this thread there would be absolute outrage by all the female posters on here. But since you are a woman you will probably just get a bunch of "you go girl!!!" type of replys.
theBrokenMuse Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 If he slapped you for the same thing then what would you have done? Many women such as yourself seems to think it's ok to hit men just because you are a woman... Shure it will barely hurt to be slapped by a woman but it's not that, it's more because it shows what a lack of class you have. If you where a man and you made this thread there would be absolute outrage by all the female posters on here. But since you are a woman you will probably just get a bunch of "you go girl!!!" type of replys. Wayne, have you even noticed that the female posters who did respond actually condemned her actions rather than agreed with them?
denise_xo Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 OP, how would you have reacted if he hit you?
TheMENemy Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 OP, how would you have reacted if he hit you? Actually I think her bf needs to throw her over his knee and give her a good, hard spanking.
flying Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Lia, I agree with the majority of posters here - you went way overboard when you slapped him. Just as troubling is the fact that you aren't really acknowledging it - "it happened" is a way of minimizing and dissociating yourself from your actions. But he's upset and he's got a right to be. I don't know what you're saying to your boyfriend when you call and leave messages, but if that's the sort of message you're leaving, then I'm not surprised he isn't calling back. You want him to just get over it without taking responsibility...I wouldn't call you back either. I don't know if he'll be willing to talk this out with you or not, but you should really use this time to learn from this.
make me believe Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Lia, I agree with the majority of posters here - you went way overboard when you slapped him. Just as troubling is the fact that you aren't really acknowledging it - "it happened" is a way of minimizing and dissociating yourself from your actions. But he's upset and he's got a right to be. I agree! She is trying to blame the incident on anything else -- her anger, the fact that she was drinking, her insecurities, her past. But she hasn't seemed to realize that NONE of those things make it ok to hit another person. I completely understand why your bf is not speaking to you. How is he supposed to know this was a "one time only" thing? How do YOU know it won't happen again? Especially since, as flying said, you aren't really taking responsibility for your actions. If I were him, I would probably never speak to you again. For some people, one time is MORE than enough for something like this. He is probably wondering when you will fly off the handle again, and what you will do next time. Anyway, you need to apologize sincerely and acknowledge that you were wrong. Don't try to blame it on your emotions, your past, or the alcohol. Just apologize and let him take it from there. But if he doesn't want to be with you anymore.... well, I wouldn't blame him. Hopefully you'll take it as a lesson learned.
Surrealist Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Disgraceful behaviour, arrogant attitude, and totally unjustified. He should leave you if you're exhibiting tendancies toward violent behavioiur at this stage of the relationship.
callingyouuu Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 I do acknowledge to having certain insecurities issues. Who wouldn't after seeing both parents cheat on each other, finding out two friends were talking smack about me the while time, I've cheated on before twice by two different men and my supervisor giving everyone of us a hard time (she's not even nice to her own adult children). I am sorry for the bad stuff you have experienced... I know it won't happen again but didn't think he would take it this level. So what do I do now? I don't wanna lose him over this. ...but no matter what you have to go through, you never "earn" the right to verbally abuse people and get away with it. You don't WANT to lose him over this, but realize that actions have consequences, and one of the possible consequences of slapping your boyfriend is to lose him for good.
D-Lish Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 If a man posted the same story, there wouldn't be an ounce of compassion. If I were your bf, I'd never speak to you ever again- quite frankly that's exactly what you deserve.
Author LiaPrincess Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 Just to let you all know I finally got to talk to him. He's still not over it even though I did apologized. In his words, he stated about feeling as if someone had just struck him and it being a shock. He kept saying it did hurt when I slapped him. At this point it started sounding as if he was breaking up. I started crying and asked him if this can be put in the past. He said he'll have to think about. Towards the end of our conversation: Me (still crying): So does this mean it's really over Him: I can't give you a definite answer and will have to think about it ya know. It has only been 3 days since this happened. How would you feel if I had done the same thing, someone you love hurts you and for no good reason? And you just did that. I wasn't even yelling and you hit me. Me: Ok you're right, I would have left crying and walked away too. I'm sorry. Can you forgive me? Him: I have but can't forget it. At this point I don't know if I still want to be with you. Me: I promise it won't happen again. Him: You can promise anything but I can't forget what happened so it would be best if we call it a break. I'll let ya know if I come around but don't call me. I WANT HIM BACK.... It's the saddest moment for me now.
Author LiaPrincess Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 If he slapped you for the same thing then what would you have done?I would have end up crying, take a taxi home and tell everyone of my friends and family what he did.
Author LiaPrincess Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 OP, how would you have reacted if he hit you?I would have left in tears.
carhill Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 He's likely, as most men do, processing it alone, without support. You've done your part. Now time will do its part. Thanks for responding back to the thread. Keep us posted. Hope it works out
musemaj11 Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Often, the username that someone uses reflects her personality. So Princess, I think you need some growing up to do.
skydiveaddict Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 (edited) Actually ,I'm kind of on Lia's side. So she slapped her boyfriend. I've been slapped before by my girlfriends. C'mon fellas, are we really gonna press chargers for getting slapped by a girl? I can't see it. "Help, help officer, she slapped me" "Ok fine son, you go stand over there with the other wussies while we sort this out" Edited November 4, 2010 by skydiveaddict
Els Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Actually ,I'm kind of on Lia's side. So she slapped her boyfriend. I've been slapped before by my girlfriends. C'mon fellas, are we really gonna press chargers for getting slapped by a girl? I can't see it. "Help, help officer, she slapped me" "Ok fine son, you go stand over there with the other wussies while we sort this out" It's not so much 'she slapped him', but rather 'she slapped him and showed no remorse til 3 days later and thinks he needs to get over it'. I'm sure you see the difference.
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