tobydog Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Ok I admit I have been spying on him. He defriended me, changed status to separated, then to It's complicated then back to separated. Now I cannot see anything except brief details and his friends. He changed his picture to one of him showing he had no wedding ring on, smiling (manically) Christ, why do I do it? His slapper has also resticted her stuff too. Is it so I don't know what they are up to? Why hasn't he just blocked me and have done with it?
iheartboobs Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Why hasn't he just blocked me and have done with it? Because maybe he wants you to see?
carhill Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 No one and no force in the universe makes you look at FB. It's a *choice*. Choose differently, if that path causes greater health. TBH, he sounds like a man-child. Do you really want to consume yourself with *that*?
Author tobydog Posted November 3, 2010 Author Posted November 3, 2010 I know it's my choice but I just cannot help it. I know I could block him but then I would unblock him. I can't see anything now except his manic smile. carhill.......do you mean immature? He sure is emotionally immature.
carhill Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Sure you can help it Your descriptions of him remind me of a little boy going 'neener neener'..... I understand that women are *attracted* to the naughty, narcissistic, immature side of men but I think it's good to have a healthy boundary about that. It sounds like you did, in the real world, but the virtual world is getting to you. Any ideas how to cope?
carhill Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Sure, turn the power off in the house and sit in the dark for awhile and think about it.
habs53 Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Ok I admit I have been spying on him. He defriended me, changed status to separated, then to It's complicated then back to separated. Now I cannot see anything except brief details and his friends. He changed his picture to one of him showing he had no wedding ring on, smiling (manically) Christ, why do I do it? His slapper has also resticted her stuff too. Is it so I don't know what they are up to? Why hasn't he just blocked me and have done with it? Actually it goes both ways. My ex left me and she is the one that checks out my facebook. I know she does because she told my son something that was only on my facebook. Im thinking of just deleting it. Facebook is nothing but a gossip and home wrecker site anyways.
ReturnToSender Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Satan's notebook....lol!!!! Yeah, I fell prey once.... but then all it took was that one time for me to realize I was playing into her game (the girl the ex left me for.) Her page used to be private, then one day she decided to make her page public and posted something she knew would fly under my skin, it worked. Since then, a few times friends or fam have asked if Ive seen the latest whatnot on her page...nope, dont wanna know! Im not going to let her have her fun at my expense. I did have to take a look see though when everyone told me I had to see a pic she posted of my ex and her together. Id never seen them together even in a pic and wanted to keep it that way, but everyone kept telling me I had to look. When I did, I about passed out. Lets just say drugs and alcohol are not a girls best friend...shes in her early 20s and 10 years younger than me but looked like shes in her 40s...bags under her eyes, wrinkles and all. Most of her pics of herself are professional pics and she does look pretty in them so I had this image of him with this young hot chick, and that everyone was saying she looked nothing like those pics to make me feel better. Yeah...that was so worth seeing I have to say lol!
Author tobydog Posted November 3, 2010 Author Posted November 3, 2010 I wonder why she does that, she is still keeping an eye on you. My stbx is not a FB user at all, never has been but in my email last night I stupidly let slip something I could only have seen on his FB. I will have to just block him. Why has he not just blocked me? He can't see any of my stuff?
ReturnToSender Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Yeah just block him. I ended up closing my own page for a couple months because not only was she stalking my page, but she mustve had a friend feeding her info since she knew things that I had puposely posted to frriends only to see, flipping out over it to my ex who would then flip out on me. I didnt know who to trust so I closed it down altogether. Im sure it killed her to know she wasnt on my radar and to be completely clueless what I was doing or up to...
worlybear Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Why not play the game- update your own picture to a mysterious smiling one and your status to "that would be telling." It may help you feel a bit better!
willowthewisp Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Facebook is nothing but a gossip and home wrecker site anyways. I agree 100% with this statement. After my X left I found out he had been setting up a whole new single life over facebook and there I was thinking he was just playing video games! It really is the spawn of the devil, if it wasn't there, sure people would still cheat and plan their escape routes but it would be much easier to pick up on in the REAL world. I have never had a facebook page and I never will. Paople say they use it to keep in touch with friends, but my thoughts on that are that if those people are so important to you you will use other methods of communication to have them in your life, such as a phone call or shock horror....maybe actually meeting up for a coffee?!
Author tobydog Posted November 3, 2010 Author Posted November 3, 2010 RTS yes I have to block him. But can they see who has been viewing their page? I have also seen a pic of the old fat bag that he has run off with, Christ I'm glad I know she is a woman of lets say VERY loose morals! They can all go to Hell! And I know she must have taken that pic of him smiling like a maniac with no wedding ring on...It was almost posed for the camera!
ReturnToSender Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Pretend they can see who has been viewing their page. Yeah they cant, but think to yourself, wouldnt that suck if they could click a tab and see youve been checking either of them out?! Slipping up and mentioning something on one of their pages, even the profile pic, is enough proof that youre cyber-stalking them so yeah...
willowthewisp Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Don't block him Tobydog, go one better, shut your account down altogether and start LIVING your life! Not to be mean, but you will feel so much better when you are seeing your friends from FB, rather than chatting on FB. Use it as an opportunity to rediscover what you enjoy in life. Go back to old hobbies, take up new ones, go clubbing (sorry I forget if you have a child?), cinema, just go out and enjoy yourself and you will soon find you don't care what he is doing, you are having too much fun yourself.
just_some_guy Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 It seems silly to blame all of this on Facebook. It's like blaming the phone on him talking to other people, or cars for carrying him to a date with someone else. Just let go. Block HIM, rather than depend on him to block you out. Use FB for your own purposes for your own friends, not as a tool to feed a sick need to cling.
The-Zen-Warrior Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 This whole Facebook Thing can get as crazy as a barrel full of monkey's! Just speaking for myself, about 5-6 months ago, I made the choice to go ahead and delete my old Facebook account and page. I didn't delete my account on the premise that I was getting tired of the thing, in truth I at least was starting to feel old hat, kind of worn in and worn out, I did it primarily as so to keep my personal life "private"! On several occasions, while having my Son over for his visits, sometimes the kid would pop off about things he and his Mother would talk about, some of those things were in regards to information that could only be found on my Facebook page. I would counter, and ask my kid how they came to know some of my personal information, when I never advertised it with my mouth? Then about 5-6 months ago my kid came clean and said that late at night he would find his Mother on her lap top looking at Facebook, sometimes looking at my page. So needless to say that shortly there after my Facebook account was closed down. Even with the limiting the access of everyone out there to my account, people can still get the information they want, its kind of easy, for Facebook has several key "exploit" areas, which makes limiting access pointless. Plus I feel better about this, now I don't have to feel like I'm always "hooked up" to a bloody computer all the time! Updating my status, uploading the current photo's, responding to comments, playing silly I.Q. games, feeding farm animals, people hitting me up for cyber cookwares in the cyber kitchen, and above all, I like the fact that there is now one less opportunity for people to nose around in my business! Also, to me, I felt pretty "Yucked Out" about the fact that my ex-wife was sitting up late at nights, looking at my stuff. I felt it odd that a woman who did what she did to me, as to get out of a marriage and supposedly was happier with her "new man", odd that she would practice the art of "obsession", after the fact, and feel compelled to re-visit me in cyber space and look me over. Yucky Stuff........
Author tobydog Posted November 3, 2010 Author Posted November 3, 2010 yes well, I don't think it is a sick need to cling, just something at the mo I cannot help. Sick is a bit strong, he has made me ill but I am taking those small steps to get stronger.
Gironbachs Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Facebook sucks. My ex hasn't deleted me, and I can't bring myself to delte her. I have blocked her in my newsfeed, but I still check her profile daily. I guess somewhere inside I feel like the fact she hasn't blocked me means she's leaving the door cracked for a possible reconciliation? I know thats not healthy - but damn - Eff you facebook
You Go Girl Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 I only log in once every couple weeks. I just started the thing and found an old high school nearly best friend and then an exbf that I hadn't spoken to in over 20 years, and no, absolutely zero interest in anything than conversation with somebody that I still care for, but in a very different way. It was wonderful to find both of them. I often wondered what happened to them. I too checked out my ex's page. This was a mistake. I will never do it again. You can control yourself, people. Why would you want to cause yourself pain? Think rationally and use fb in a healthy way, or don't use it at all. Connecting with old friends--good. Checking up on ex's--bad.
Author tobydog Posted November 3, 2010 Author Posted November 3, 2010 Zen , yes tell me how. I need proof that he with an old rugby legged bag. Let me know the key exploit areas? I still need the proof. I am over the fact he has AW but I still have this compulsive urge to spy....not cyber stalk either. Or is it this?
The-Zen-Warrior Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 I still have this compulsive urge to spy....not cyber stalk either. Or is it this? Well, what do you think? You have a compulsive urge to spy, probably several if not many attempts to access the information you want, by manipulating your computers mouse and with several clicks you try! If you only tried once and failed and made the choice to "move on", not a problem! But if you know you will be unsuccessful and attempt to access the information anyways, even with failure, if you try and try and try and keep going back and back and back to this, then I would start to consider it "cyber stalking"!
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