dflight12 Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 I really miss my ex gf. We broke up in August. I've been straight up no contact since then excluding one drunk text I sent because I won something at raffle that I knew she'd be jealous of. She responded with a flurry of texts and one asking who my new gf was. I didnt even have a new gf, I was just seeing someone to get over it. That happened like 8 weeks ago. So basically I want to know how to tell her I miss her. Do I ask her to lunch without her knowing my intentions? Or do I spill my guts if she agrees to go to lunch etc..?? One another note. I normally would totally go with the mysterious approach but I saw her sister one night and she told me that my gf told her he never tells me her loves me blah blah blah, so now I don;t know.
red_cloud Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 This is simple: Don't do it. And no, there is no way you can contact her without her knowing your intentions. Especially if she has a new boyfriend. You're just going to make her feel good about herself as she walks away.
ReturnToSender Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 I dont know the backstory of why you guys broke up in the first place, if it was cheating, theft, she broke your heart or you broke hers in a disasterous way, then its better to just leave it as it is (Im not taking my own advice, but its still the best advice/route to go) If it wasnt something so major, I dont see why not invite her out for lunch. Unless she has a bf of course. Theres the huge risk history will repeat itself, but theres also the chance it could work out, it happens.
Author dflight12 Posted November 3, 2010 Author Posted November 3, 2010 Well, I mean i want to contact her. I understand the whole rule of no contact, but where do I get by not reaching out? The next best option would be just "running into her" somewhere.
red_cloud Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Getting back with an ex is one of the most difficult things that one can do. I tried and almost did it successfully. But after a while, the ambiguity and uncertainty became too much. If you can't get over her and wallk away, you are certainly not a in position to try to get back into a relationship. I know its harsh, but its the truth.
ReturnToSender Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Dont try "running into her" on purpose Im going to guess you mean....its always obvious and she'll see through that. My ex and I have many of the same friends, go to all the same places, like a lot of the same things, and we've never accidentally ran into each other anywhere. The few times we saw each other somewhere, we knew the other would be there. I dont totally understand the rules of NC so Im of no use there. I understand the concept, and that the time apart has helped with reconciliation and bring couples back together, but the general consensus seems to go against ever actually talking to the other person again, which would mean there is never a hope of reconciliation. I find that part confusing. But anyway, Im too straight-forward. When the time comes, if you want to see her, tell her so. Either she'll want to see you too or not. If not okay. If so, theres the chance you'll reconcile or she'll get her ego stroked knowing how happy you were to see her again and then walk away. The whole thing is one big risk..if only everything was certain. Nothing is.
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