Any 25+ virgin here?

[musemaj11]

Well said! that's what i thought too.It's those who just want to get into your pants that i've tried to watch out for. I want my first time to mean something.

Let me tell you a little story,

 

"Once upon a time, there was a little girl who grew up with their parents telling her to honor her body and never have sex with a man until she is married. So she followed their advice and grew up to be a fine young woman. However, no matter how much she tried, somehow she couldnt find the 'right' man for her. Time went by and all she knew was that she had become 30. Then that 30 turned into 40 and finally that 40 became 50. And now she is a 50 year old virgin who has never known how it feels to make love with a man and by the day the chance of her of ever knowing gets slimmer. Every night she goes to sleep in tears and curses her parents for robbing her of a fulfilling youth. So she spends the rest of her life writing online telling young women not to fall into the same mistake she fell into simply for the sake of an idealized fantasy."

 

Nice little story isnt it? Thats a true story by the way which I read written by a woman on Yahoo Answer a long time ago.

Edited November 3, 2010 by musemaj11

[Els]

I don't understand what you're trying to imply to her, musemaj. She clearly said she didn't have sex with them because she felt they weren't really into her. Nowhere did she say she was waiting for marriage. Also, she has already had other sexual interactions with her men, not completely removing herself from sexual intimacy.

 

To be honest, I don't get what's all the fuss with vaginal intercourse per se. I really think that the majority of people who uphold it as the Holy Grail of the sexual experience and consider all other sexual experiences as inconsequential lesser beings... are the people who are really sexually inexperienced and narrow-minded themselves. Sure, that's how we reproduce. But the sexual realm is so much MORE than just penile-vaginal insertion, even though that may arguably be the preferred method for some. Think fellatio and cunnilingus. Anal. Frottage. Mutual masturbation. Boobsex. Strapons. Foreign insertions. Double-ended dildos. Toys. Teasing. Orgasm control and denial. Kinky roleplay. Open your damn mind up.

Edited November 3, 2010 by Elswyth

[musemaj11]

Elswyth, soon you will turn 30, then that 30 will become 40, and that 40 will become 50. And when that day comes, everytime you go to bed in tears remember that I already warned you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

JK!!! :p:p

[somedude81]

I want my first time to mean something.And let's fact it, there are many guys who are only after sex these days, at leaset that's what i think-you guys feel free to correct me if i'm wrong on that.I have to be careful enough so to screen out these guys.There are guys that can come on strong,go the distance only to get laid..it takes time to get to know someone and to know if they really care for you.I've been attracted to a few guys, did feel tempted and then i was like"wait a minute,he doesnt care for you..".Is it ok for me to say i want to give it to a guy who has proven he cares,someone who can appericate it's my first time?I want my first time to mean something both to myself and to the other person.

You didn't really answer any of my questions.

 

So I'll add another one. How do you know when a guy cares for you? Don't forget to answer how long and why.

 

BTW, my purpose is to get you to start thinking about what is happening and to help you come to a realization.

[Green]

Many girls end up virgins later in life. But it is for a much differen reason then most men. If a girl is shy that alone will not stop her from dating and finding a meaningful relationship. But Shyness in a guy has a much better chance at keeping him single for a long time.

 

Unlike women as men grow older if they find sucess they will be considered attractive. Some 40 year old guy who is healthy and built a career for himself will actualy have it easier to find a woman even one of prime child baring years.

 

When a woman gets old and stops being able to naturaly have kids she is considered less attractive by many men.

 

You're still young at 25 and shouldn't really worry about it. If I was single and I met a 25 year old virgin I was attracted to I would actualy find it a turn on that she had never had a relationship or sex. I would be warry of it but mostly turned on. Also even if you said you were waiting for marriage or the right time I would still try to have sex with you.

[Mellisa]

Honestly, if things don't work out, the feeling of being used or upset doesn't go away whether it's the first guy or the tenth guy that you've been with. My most memorable experiences have been with the guys that I've been with later on, not earlier, so unlike a lot of people, I def don't buy into the "it needs to be special thing". And the other thing that no one ever mentions is that, at least for me, for the first few years, the sex really sucked. This is because most guy already don't know what they are doing, and I was inexperienced and shy on top of that. It really took me a few years to get comfortable with myself to get to a point where I could understand why people are obsessed with sex.

 

I sometime think it's the first step that is the hardest.Once you step out there,it gets easier every time.You might go from a inexperienced virgin to a sex master which isnt a bad thing at all.For me, i want a partner who is experienced and patient enough to bear with me and to teach me.And i want him to be 100% clean and sex 100% safe.And he'd better not **** other women at the same time.See, it's hard to find a qualified man under those conditions.Only the men who truely care for you can be capable of that,otherwise you'll feel used or regreted. I dont necessary want to marry the man who take my virnity,now it's more towards learning and preparing myself sextually for the right guy,through probably having to risk it with the wrong ones.As you said, it can take years to truely get it,so i might as well start getting practise hehe..the ealier you get it the better right? That's what i also thought about.Still, how can i find a such a man who can help me evolve?Probably will need more than one man:rolleyes:

[musemaj11]

I sometime think it's the first step that is the hardest.Once you step out there,it gets easier every time.You might go from a inexperienced virgin to a sex master which isnt a bad thing at all.For me, i want a partner who is experienced and patient enough to bear with me and to teach me.And i want him to be 100% clean and sex 100% safe.And he'd better not **** other women at the same time.See, it's hard to find a qualified man under those conditions.Only the men who truely care for you can be capable of that,otherwise you'll feel used or regreted. I dont necessary want to marry the man who take my virnity,now it's more towards learning and preparing myself sextually for the right guy,through probably having to risk it with the wrong ones.As you said, it can take years to truely get it,so i might as well start getting practise hehe..the ealier you get it the better right? That's what i also thought about.Still, how can i find a such a man who can help me evolve?Probably will need more than one man:rolleyes:

You are not going to be a sex master from only banging one man.

 

You need to bang a lot of men. But just dont let any of those men know that you have banged a lot of their species.

Edited November 3, 2010 by musemaj11

[red_cloud]

IAnd i want him to be 100% clean and sex 100% safe.And he'd better not **** other women at the same time.See, it's hard to find a qualified man under those conditions.

 

 

Its actually not that hard to find a guy who fits under those conditions. It's called exclusive dating and tons of people do it on a regular basis.

 

I sometime think it's the first step that is the hardest.Once you step out there,it gets easier every time.You might go from a inexperienced virgin to a sex master which isnt a bad thing at all.For me, i want a partner who is experienced and patient enough to bear with me and to teach me.

 

How old is your target group? I can see how this would appeal to an older established gentleman, who wants to take a younger woman under his wings and teach her about life. I don't really see a 20's something year old guy working a 60-hour work week, paying off his school loans and planning out his future wanting to go home to a girlfriend he has to patiently coach through a sex session and get her to open up. I'm sure there are guys out there... I haven't really met any of them. Is this your definition of someone who cares about you?

 

I'm not saying it's a bad thing to want a lot of a guy, but sometimes, when our desires and reality don't meet up, we have to change our expectations if we want to create healthy and realistic relationships.

[Untouchable_Fire]

So my questions are-especially to the men here

 

1.What do you think of dating a virign?How would you date them?

2.Do guys really need sex to feel intimacy?How long would you wait for sex with a virgin?

3.Any advice for me in this situation?Is it really a big deal?Can i do it with someone i'm attracted to but with no long term potential?Or someone who i'm into but who probably isnt that into me?Or should i just let it happen with the next guy when caught up in the moment?

 

Any advice from girls who's been there would also be great:)

 

1. I personally would avoid it... since women with single sex partners are not particularly faithful long term. BUT that said most guys would see this as a positive.

 

2. Not 100%, I am fully capable of falling in love before sex. If a guy can't wait 1 or 2 months... he isnt worth it.

 

3. For your first time... I highly suggest you pick someone who loves you. Otherwise it's often not very good, or it hurts, and often you may feel bad about it later. Just make sure it's not a situation you regret later. I'd say your first time is a big deal because it kind of sets the tone for you later sex life.

[LisaLee]

I assumed in the first place that when most people say virgin, they mean virgin-virgin and not just 'have done everything except had my hymen broken' virgin. Other than that, I daresay my lack of experience in vaginal sex may possibly lead to a slightly higher learning curve in the department of vaginal sex (and probably a few un-fun sessions involving easing the penis in reaaalllly slowwwllyy), but if a guy can't be bothered to deal with that, I certainly can't be bothered to have sex with him.

 

Because I remember reading your into non-vanilla sex play, I have always thought of you as being very sexually experienced. It surprises me that by all technicalities you are still a virgin. You strike me as being very knowledgeable in the realms of sex... no offense, by any means.

Edited November 4, 2010 by LisaLee