bleeg Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 So after 3 months of no contact, my girlfriend has contacted me and wants to get together with me and try things again slowly. She said she still loves me and does see a future with me but the reason she doesn't want to jump into it again is because there is still resentment. Understandable. Now during these 3 months, I kinda went to her girlfriend for help, advice and kinda used her to win back my ex. During these times, she said my ex knew that we were hanging out. Fast forward to now, the conversation came up about this friend and I told her she was a real help during tough times and my ex was shocked. She didn't know a thing about it and feels betrayed. She already has trust issues and I didn't realize at the time what I was doing was wrong but she thinks we might've fooled around and now she feels like an idiot. I already told her nothing remotely close to that happend. How can I win her trust back?
Don Ho Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 It's not that you have to win her trust back, it's that she has trust issues she needs to work on. If she were secure with herself and knew that you were honest she wouldn't have a problem.
Balance11 Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Why should you have to ? You went to her friend for help, nothing more, if your gf cant even trust that you didn't do anything you really think your relationship will last ? I mean you've just got back with her and you've told her the truth and she dosent believe you, what happens when something bigger happens (which it usually does) ? She'll never trust you anf things will go down hill. I can see why she might feel betrayed by her friend, but she should have no trust problem with you, you can talk to anyone you want, she should be happy you went to such lengths as to recruit her friend to help get her back. Dont be her lap dog running around thinking everything is your fault. This issue is between her and her friend, if she cant see that and is blaming you and if she cant even trust you end it and move on, you'll be far happier, experience tells me this.
Balance11 Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Hits you like a sh** now but you'll be happier once you've had some time to yourself and when realise life is too short, why waste more time, make the most of now.
Author bleeg Posted November 3, 2010 Author Posted November 3, 2010 I don't understand these unstable people.
Balance11 Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 They're people that cant see further than the end of their own noses, in other words selfish. They can only see how something affects them and they think they need to be the number 1 priority. Unless they're willing to change then they are not worth the time or effort.
Author bleeg Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 What's the saddest part is that she's going to come back when she realizes nothing happend. I only hope I have the balls to send her packing.
SithLord Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 At least she came back, I'm in no contact for the long run.
Traviscartr Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 Yes, some day she will realize her mistake and will come back to you.
Author bleeg Posted November 8, 2010 Author Posted November 8, 2010 So after talking to a few of my close girlfriends who agree she is just angry right now and needs time to cool off and will most probably contact me again, since she already did and told me how she felt, i've decided to send her her favorite flowers and a hand written note for her birthday which is 3 weeks away. Can anybody give me ideas for ways to really show her that I have manned up? She is as straight and mature as girls come. She's just been hurt a lot in the past and is very defensive right now. Her friend told her that everytime she saw me, it was with a bunch of the guys and it was never one on one. When in fact, it was one on one for coffee's. Her friend lied which made the situation worse like there's something to hide.
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