Titania22 Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 I posted this on another thread, but I thought I would post it on a thread, and see if you guys have any words of encouragement (or discouragement) before I go out in a few hours. Ok, well the thread seemed to get very heated for a bit, and I want to lighten the mood. On the subject of women doing the approaching. A week or 2 ago there was a thread, where a guy was encouraged to go up to many attractive women and say something nice and walk away, so he could get over the anxiety of approaching women. And I thought that was an awesome idea, because I get very anxious about approaching men I find attractive (doesn't mean I won't approach, it just means I act weird when i do). So I thought I should try it. Last friday night I went to a club I had never been, but I had high hopes it would contain at least a few guys I could find attractive, and I promised myself that I would have a go, just saying something nice and walking away. So at the end of the night, I made myself. So Lame! I went up to this guy and told him, 'You seem really lovely'. I know, so lame right. I guess he seemed 'lovely' because he wasn't blind drunk or groping anyone. Anyway I did it, and I left. And tonight I am going out again to the same place, and am looking forward to seeing myself take some more affirmative action. I mean, seriously, even flirting from afar is a bit of a challenge, if I can't stop grinning when a cute guy looks at me, and then I trip over. I seriously love my life. What do you guys think?
Surrealist Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Not really sure what to think or what you're asking exactly? What a guy thinks of a girl approaching a man directly and openly? Why not? No problem with that. I occasionally read other blogs such as those found on news dot com dot au and a few women said they approached their man initially and ended up happily married. No hard and fast rules the way I see it.
Untouchable_Fire Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 I mean, seriously, even flirting from afar is a bit of a challenge, if I can't stop grinning when a cute guy looks at me, and then I trip over. I seriously love my life. What do you guys think? I like the idea. In middle school there was a girl who I knew would not go out with me. I made of joke of it and asked her out probably 10 times a day... she said No each time. After a while we would both laugh about it when I randomly asked her out. Funny thing is that from that point on... I never struggled to find the courage. Now my suggestion for you. Compliment the guy on something personalized. A dance move... his shoes... his hat... anything. Find something that has some meaning.
Author Titania22 Posted November 3, 2010 Author Posted November 3, 2010 Now my suggestion for you. Compliment the guy on something personalized. A dance move... his shoes... his hat... anything. Find something that has some meaning. cool suggestion, i will do that. Thanks
TheMENemy Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 A cold approach is difficult. In the olden days, ladies would carry handkerchiefs for their morning stroll through the town square. If they fancied a young man's attention, a common ploy was to "accidentally" drop their handkerchief when the guy was close by and paying attention. If the guy was interested he would rush over like a gentleman should to pick up the young lady's handkerchief. This would allow conversation to commence but would also save embarrassment if the man wasn't really interested, because he could just give her the handkerchief and be on his way.
Author Titania22 Posted November 3, 2010 Author Posted November 3, 2010 Those were the days. Of course I don't think I was even alive in those days.
boosh Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Those were the days. Of course I don't think I was even alive in those days. If you were I'd be seriously concerned that you're still going out to clubs haha. No but seriously, I like your idea and frankly wish more women would do it. As a guy who's tried that approach before, it definitely helps with the anxiety aspect. Plus it's really nice to know you can have the confidence to approach someone you don't k ow at all, give them a compliment, then walk away tote them think about it, most likely in shock. Who knows maybe they'll seek you out and spark up a conversation. Seriously just keep working at it, no harm in trying!
Author Titania22 Posted November 3, 2010 Author Posted November 3, 2010 Thanks Boosh, I am trying to have fun in life, and I have found the most rewarding and stimulating experiences are the ones that push me a little out of my comfort zone. Tonight I will make sure I do the compliment thing a bit earlier, so the guys have a chance if they decide they are interested.
Tim The Enchanter Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Flirting with people in clubs is not that complicated. You don't even have to say anything - eye contact is where it all starts, and a little dutch courage doesn't go amiss.
mogul Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 In clubbing situations, sending all the right signals makes it that much easier for a guy to approach. A simple smile, or prolonged flirty stare would always work (on me atleast).
waynebrady Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Women never approach men, ever. Real women hate the idea of approaching a guy or initiate anything with a guy ever.
counterman Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Good on you for challenging yourself. I love to challenge myself and take myself out of my comfort zone as well. I use to be really shy during high school and that didn't get me anywhere with the girls. My voice use to crack up and I wouldn't be able to utter a word. Then, I just forced myself to say hi at first and then it snowballed from there. I've done a few cold approaches and it's not that bad. The girls were really friendly. Though, I still get a bit flustered with the really attractive ones. That's a good idea, complimenting them at the beginning. They would seek you out for a dance or drink, etc. if they're interested. As for words of encouragement... I think life is too short to be waiting for things to happen. Why not make it happen yourself?
Art_Critic Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 (edited) Women never approach men, ever. Real women hate the idea of approaching a guy or initiate anything with a guy ever. That isn't true.. at least it wasn't in my life... Until my divorce at the age of 39 I was asked out by women in many of my relationships and for many dates. That doesn't mean I didn't chase women too though.. but with me it went both ways and the quality of women didn't change if she approached me instead of me approaching her. You have to show them something that they like in order for them to approach you.. You can't just be some bitter ole smelly bump on a log sitting in the corner if you want to be approached.. You have to dress good and act good.. you have to have a sense of humor and have a personality that is fun and desirable rather than one of boredom. No girl wants to go out on a date with some guy if he isn't coming across as a fun date.. Edited November 3, 2010 by Art_Critic
Art_Critic Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 I seriously love my life. What do you guys think? Props to you... and loving your life is the biggest key to successful dating.. Someone who is not having fun in their own life exudes it in their dating life as well...
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