SadGirl23 Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 (edited) My ex and I broke up 3 months ago. He broke up with me, and put me thru misery for no reason We both went NC, but it seemed like every 2 weeks, he would try to "check" up on me. He would constantly mentions there's no other person in his life like he was trying to prove something, and that he is confused. I went NC for good as it just was a waste of my time and dignity to allow someone to feel like their unsure about me. Unsure about me who was nothing but good to him. Anyhow, now that its been 3 months, I find myself slowly going back to day 1 again which is nothing but depression and numbness. It is not much as before as NC helped to relieve the pain of focusing on out of sight, out of mind kind of feeling. However, I feel like NC has definitely made me depressed in a way of thinking that this man may never come back. Even when I was satisfied with a "Hi" even though it seemed like he had no heart, that was gone because of NC that he no longer even has any thoughts about me. He text me on halloween after not speaking for almost a month, and I find myself reading into text messages just like how I was when the breakup happened. His texts were "Just wanted to see how you were doing, hope your doing well, you probably won't respond as I understand, I been thinking a lot, with a bunch of sad faces on the text, then he said well I don't want to ruin your night, and Im still here for you" I mean, it was all that said thru text and I didn't reply back. Maybe it's me but the texts made me think what if.. what if he text me but is scared to say anything since he messed up so much, he knows my whole family hates him because we helped this guy thru college (loaned him money so he can graduate and he NEVER PAID ME BACK!) and he has a family himself who didn't want to help him, why would he had text me to say "i'm still here for you" if he may have another girlfriend?? what if..... I just want to be like why is he "still thinking" when nobody bothered him.. why would he bother me? he knows I am over and done with... I'm so confused and may feel like I want this as$hole back now.. i came too far, am tired of figuring him out since the breakup, but something is telling me there is something to that text message .. or is guilt trip again.. this dude had way to many chances and he fxcked every last one up.. broke up with me the first time..came back at 2 months since breakup wanted me back then change his mind the next day (Was NC with him), then comes back 3 weeks ago bc he wanted me to go to church with him but since i acted like I didn't feel he was deserving of it (I went NC on him again) guess he figured he fxcked up too much so he disappeared then texts me on halloween Edited November 3, 2010 by SadGirl23
fun2bewith Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 My ex and I broke up 3 months ago. He broke up with me, and put me thru misery for no reason We both went NC, but it seemed like every 2 weeks, he would try to "check" up on me. He would constantly mentions there's no other person in his life like he was trying to prove something, and that he is confused. I went NC for good as it just was a waste of my time and dignity to allow someone to feel like their unsure about me. Unsure about me who was nothing but good to him. Anyhow, now that its been 3 months, I find myself slowly going back to day 1 again which is nothing but depression and numbness. It is not much as before as NC helped to relieve the pain of focusing on out of sight, out of mind kind of feeling. However, I feel like NC has definitely made me depressed in a way of thinking that this man may never come back. Even when I was satisfied with a "Hi" even though it seemed like he had no heart, that was gone because of NC that he no longer even has any thoughts about me. He text me on halloween after not speaking for almost a month, and I find myself reading into text messages just like how I was when the breakup happened. His texts were "Just wanted to see how you were doing, hope your doing well, you probably won't respond as I understand, I been thinking a lot, with a bunch of sad faces on the text, then he said well I don't want to ruin your night, and Im still here for you" I mean, it was all that said thru text and I didn't reply back. Maybe it's me but the texts made me think what if.. what if he text me but is scared to say anything since he messed up so much, he knows my whole family hates him because we helped this guy thru college (loaned him money so he can graduate and he NEVER PAID ME BACK!) and he has a family himself who didn't want to help him, why would he had text me to say "i'm still here for you" if he may have another girlfriend?? what if..... I just want to be like why is he "still thinking" when nobody bothered him.. why would he bother me? he knows I am over and done with... I'm so confused and may feel like I want this as$hole back now.. i came too far, am tired of figuring him out since the breakup, but something is telling me there is something to that text message .. or is guilt trip again.. this dude had way to many chances and he fxcked every last one up.. broke up with me the first time..came back at 2 months since breakup wanted me back then change his mind the next day (Was NC with him), then comes back 3 weeks ago bc he wanted me to go to church with him but since i acted like I didn't feel he was deserving of it (I went NC on him again) guess he figured he fxcked up too much so he disappeared then texts me on halloween Hey girl23, The solution is not: "that time will heal", it is what you do with your time that heal...I feel your pain and understand exactly why you feel this way... In his case people always want something that they can not have...He wants you now because he can not have you...So you should feel damn great about it! You are in control of you! Not him anymore! He remembers what he had, but as soon as he gets you back, don't you think he will just leave you again and open up all the sores again? And then you will be at square one... After a long time goes by, people tend to only remember the good and forget why people broke up in the first place... If you do not want to get hurt again do not go back, cause that feeling of content will only last for a while and then sadness will kick in...But I you do not want to get hurt again...I think you know what to do, and by the way you are now in control of you not him....smile...
Author SadGirl23 Posted November 3, 2010 Author Posted November 3, 2010 thank you fun2bewith with your positive advice.. been so long since i saw the word smile. thank you for slapping some sense in me! as i do feel i need to stay where i am at, yes im sad and lonely, but its better than him opening fresh new sores!
fun2bewith Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 thank you fun2bewith with your positive advice.. been so long since i saw the word smile. thank you for slapping some sense in me! as i do feel i need to stay where i am at, yes im sad and lonely, but its better than him opening fresh new sores! How are you doing now?
havehope Posted November 7, 2010 Posted November 7, 2010 Hey - try not to read into the texts. He's probably realizing how crappy his life is without you and may be looking for an ego stroke. I'm dealing with a similar situation, so I know how hard it is to go NC when they text you things like that. Don't let them have influence over your heart anymore. They don't deserve it after the relationship ended. He's probably looking for attention/a response... don't give him what he wants. you said he's messed up with his chances before... what has he done to deserve another one? Nothing. You're right: YOU CAME TOO FAR - don't get sucked back to where you were before, its not worth it. Look at the progress you made. Don't give that up for 1 text on halloween. Let him miss you - its his loss!
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