kassi90 Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now, and there's something I've never told him before. About 2 years ago I contacted someone for boudoir styled photography to give as a gift to my boyfriend. I found a local photographer and he said he'd even pay me for the shoot because he was very new and wanted to use the pictures in his professional portfolio. I agreed because after all it was only in my lingerie, there was not going to be any nudity and he was aware of it. We set up the appointment and he turned out to be much less professional than I thought. The photo shoot was at his house and I felt extremely uncomfortable, I regretted ever agreeing to this immediately. When he asked me to take my clothes off so we could start the shoot I froze up, I was so terrified and so worried I just did what he asked and hoped it would be all over soon. I felt trapped in the house since he had brought me here and I was relying on him to go back home. (he lived very far away and I didn't have a car) The whole thing was terrifying and I wish I had known beforehand what it would've been like.. Although he was a very nice man, I could tell he was a little bit sketchy and I just really didn't want to do this anymore. I couldn't find the strength to put an end to it, I was frozen with fear inside. He pressured me to do nude photography and blindly I followed. I just wanted to get out. Looking back I can't believe I was so afraid that I couldn't just stand up for myself and walk out, I felt so vulnerable... Anyways the shoot bordered on inappropriate when he started asking me if I was interested in doing more pornographic pictures, which he knew I was not and I did not do them, but he kept saying how much people would love these pictures. Its at that moment that I started worrying that he was going to sell those pictures or post them online. I was frozen on the inside I couldn't speak and I couldn't move. The shoot finished and he knew he had made me feel extremely uncomfortable. He paid me much more money than offered to try to make up for it, but I just wanted to leave. He drove me back to where he picked me up and I never saw him again. When I got home I sent him a long e-mail telling him that he took advantage of me when I was most vulnerable and that he knew what he was doing was wrong. I told him to never contact me again and to delete the pictures if he was any kind of a good human being. I never told my boyfriend because I was so extremely embarrassed by my own stupidity... I'm so ashamed at how terrified and frozen I was, I should have reacted and protested..but I didn't.. I couldn't. In the end nothing bad happened. It's been two years and I haven't heard from him ever. I searched the web tirelessly and I never found any pictures of myself (although that doesn't mean they're not there, but at least they don't seem public..) I don't know if I should tell my boyfriend. I don't know if this is one of these things where its better left unsaid. I wasn't ready to deal with what happened until now, which is why I'm wondering if he should know.. but then again I don't know if it might upset him.. He would be so disappointed in me... It's so silly because I only ever did this because I wanted to give him a gift... Please help me, I need advice
Author kassi90 Posted November 3, 2010 Author Posted November 3, 2010 The thing is though, I don't even know if they are online... And I'm not worried about him thinking I slept with the guy, so that's not why I'm hesitating telling him. What I'm worried about is that he wouldn't understand why I didn't leave. I'm worried he wouldn't understand just how terrified I was and how this whole thing didn't start off the way it ended. I'm worried he won't understand my intentions... But maybe you're right, in the off chance that he would find out, maybe I should just tell him now. Thanks for replying
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 8, 2010 Posted November 8, 2010 Wow this is a tough one... especially so after two years. The general rule of thumb is that "IF there is a chance that your significant other would find out via other means, then you should tell them first". Yet 2 years time could give you increased hope that they will never been seen publically. ... until you run for office.
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