hott27 Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Found messages on my patner's facebook from another women..He was telling her how lonely he is and how much he has been thinking of her and that he waits for the naked:( mms's that he requeasted from her and that he would also send her his...I am now 6 months pregnant and i just feel so helpless..After that happened another lady phoned asking for him or his number if he wasn't around..When i asked what this was about she said it had to do with work and i found it odd that she would not have his work number then.. Its been up and down with this relationship for a long time, a few months back i found viagra in his work bag and i let that go without any clarifcation..Yesterday i sent him an sms telling him how what he does hurts me and he answered back saying that i always want to cause trouble and that whatever fantasies i have i must sort out myself and not involve him..He later sent another sms telling me that i am the only woman he loves and he doesn't know why i am accusing him.. I don't know what to do anymore:( I have not slept in 3 days and i just feel so helpless..The sad part is that even though he is hurting me so much i still want him so much..Our sex life is non existence, has been for nearly 3months now and he says its because he is scared for the baby but now i don't think thats the case at all..I just don't know what to do, one minute i am fuming and the next i just want to curl up and hug him..
kassi90 Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 That sounds like an incredibly painful situation to go through. I think what you need at this point is a strong support system around you because obviously your boyfriend is not being very caring and understanding at the moment. I think he needs to be confronted with what you know and I also think you need to prepare yourself for his answer. I know you're in a vulnerable position, being pregnant and all, but I know you can find the strength in you. I believe any relationship can be salvaged, even if there was infidelity, but both parties have to acknowledge what happened and work together to overcome these obstacles. Good luck, and please check out my topic that I just posted, I need advice too
dreamingoftigers Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 I don't know exactly why, but it seems that some guys are really predisposed to cheating during pregnancy specifically, my husband being one of them. It's a bad hurt to try and get past, if it is even possible. I am so sorry for your pain, especially while you are in a vulnerable position. Do not fear leaving him because it will simply cause you a ton more stress to stay. It strongly sounds like you have a cheater because if a regular non-cheater was accused they tend to wonder why you think that and be more reassuring.
ascendotum Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Wow. This is pretty bad at any stage in a relationship, but to me more so given that you are under the stress of having a baby...his child. How the hell do you explain away naked phone pics & viagra for work...and he didn't! This guy is unbelievable using FB to flirt. He's scared of the baby, I'd say he's scared of how this baby is going to change his life and the responsibilities he now has to deal with as a father, and he's the one living a fantasy by thinking he has another life as a single man. You need to try do your best to take care of your wellbeing as much as possible and get good sleep, eat healthy and reduce your stress levels for the sake of your child....though it is very easy for me to say this sitting at my keyboard. You need to get as much support from your family and friends. There is another forum here at LS that will likely get you more appropriate advice than this dating one. I hope I am being overly negative and your man is just flirting as a fear reaction and will snap out of it and get back to being focused on his family.
Author hott27 Posted November 3, 2010 Author Posted November 3, 2010 Thank you so much for all ur replies....I think more than anything now i know what is going on..Every part of me tells me that he has and is probably sleping with other women, i just don't understand why me...I feel so helpless and i am so hurt...Last night i asked him why he never has sex with me and he told me that its different now cause i am just so big and i don't arouse him and he just does not find me attractive anymore but he really does love me..How can you love someone and yet feel like that about her body? My self esteem is so slow and i feel so lost, i don't kniw what to do anymore...I am hurting so much and it seems that things are just getting worse everyday...
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