espec10001 Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 I am a 27 year old single guy who has been working in the corporate environment for almost 3 years now. When I started out everything was fine, people assumed that I had a girlfriend or wife. But over the past few months I've began to notice a slight form of discrimination against me. I try my best to get along with my married coworkers, but my relationship can only go so far with them because they are married and I'm not. When they want to do something outside of work, I am not invited. When they are planning a group holiday dinner, I am not invited. The reason stated is because I am single. Now, I've never done anything for them to not like me. I do my work and mind my own business. But there is a huge divide between myself and them and I can sense it. It's almost like I have this disease called "singleness" and they don't want to catch it. I'm often left out of important meetings, and also kept out of the loop and not told any pertinent information and I'm beginning to suspect a large part of it is because of my marital status. How do you single people deal with working in the corporate world?
johan Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 It's possible it's because of your single-ness, if you work for some kind of Stepford company. I think people who are married are more respected in business. It indicates a certain amount of personal success, commitment and stability. Like it or not, it's what people think.
slownumbers81 Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 That seems strange to me, I'm sorry you have to experience that. I know that not all work places are like that. You mentioned you are left out by your married coworkers. Do you have any single coworkers? Maybe you could hang around them more? Just a suggestion, but either way try not to feel bad - there is nothing wrong with being single!
D-Jam Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 I never had that in my corporate life, since I'm getting older than many of my coworkers. I did experience that with many peers though who married, had kids, and thus had a different life. What did I do? I looked for my own life. If I'm being alienated because I don't have a GF or I am not married with kids, then who cares? Do I really want to know those people then if they look at me like that? I'm probably sure some of them are jealous. Lord knows I'd hear enough people (especially guys) lament on the nagging bitch they settled for in life, when they should have been more patient and realistic to find the actual "good girl". I'm also sure your superiors will view your singledom as "open for upward movement". So you'll not have to say "but I can't fly out to Denver this weekend, it's little Timmy's baseball game on Saturday" or "I can't stay late. My wife's been on my ass about my late-nights." If they judge you like that, then you don't need them.
OceanGirl Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Yeah, I don't hang around married people. Talking about when their kid pooped last is no fun for me. I feel like my life is about million times more interesting than theirs. I hang out with other singles, even if they are younger than me. I do have one married friend/co-worker who is just the loveliest person I have ever met Our friendship transcends the relationship status. I often feel that I am looked down on by married people. But when I hear their day to day problems and concerns I realize that I will only ever be able to marry someone that I am head over hills in love with. I am not going to marry some guy just because he is the best option out of all presented and it's time to settle down.
sanskrit Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Cultivate a socially astute female friend whom you can hold out as an SO, and maybe vice versa. Get her to office functions and be aggressive about getting included in "couples" events pertaining to work. This is indeed a real form of discrimination but unfortunately it is not a type with legal recourse.
make me believe Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 I'm often left out of important meetings, and also kept out of the loop and not told any pertinent information and I'm beginning to suspect a large part of it is because of my marital status. THAT is not ok as it can affect your ability to do your job and could have legitimate ramifications on your career. If this is truly happening, I suggest you go to a higher-up and report it. It doesn't make any sense that they'd leave you out of business meetings because of your marital status. But if they are, it needs to be dealt with. As for the social aspect, it seems really strange to me that a 27 year old would be getting so much negative attention for being single. A 27 year old single guy is hardly an anomaly. Is everyone expected to get married straight out of college now?! Sanskrit's idea would probably work, but it's sad to think that you might have to have a fake girlfriend just to make your colleagues treat you the same way they treat each other.
Woggle Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 They are just jealous. I don't know about the women but the men are mad that you have the freedom that is long for them. Their wives probably have them by the balls. Even men who genuinely happy marriages are targets. I can tell my boss is completely envious of me.
sanskrit Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Don't be male and go "reporting" things like this. The outcome will be bad bad for you. Females, report away.
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