thatsonlyme Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 well, she's moving out, her roommate doesn't wanna stay and now she's asking me if I want to move back in! I've just moved in my new place yesterday! Now I have a lease on both places! Dunno what to do. I like my old place better, location is better, I'd keep all our furniture and everything which could save me some money. Then again I'm not sure if I could deal with the emotional part of living in a place filled with great memories. My old place is a lot more expensive though and I'd have to get a roommate. I'm not sure what to think about it. I hate living alone and if I could find a good roommate it would be fun, but what if I find someone I don't get along with? I need good advice fast!
TomerT Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 I would stay in new place. In my language we have a saying "New place - new luck"..Leave the history behind you...Even if you will spent some extra money - look this as an investment in your future...There are things in life, which we can not measure with money, for example such as "emotions"...
SadGirl23 Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 the same chick that acted liek she wanted nothing to do with you after the night on the town eating sushi and what not.. now she wants you to move back in because you are the first person her little comfort zone could rely on.. she is simply, utterly has no remorse.... that really bothers me.. dumpers always forget how fxcked up they were the day before, then act like nothing happened the day after.
Author thatsonlyme Posted November 3, 2010 Author Posted November 3, 2010 the same chick that acted liek she wanted nothing to do with you after the night on the town eating sushi and what not.. now she wants you to move back in because you are the first person her little comfort zone could rely on.. she is simply, utterly has no remorse.... that really bothers me.. dumpers always forget how fxcked up they were the day before, then act like nothing happened the day after. Yes, the very same chick. However, she's not asking me to get back together, not sure if I made that clear. That same chick actually showed me last few times we saw each other that her life is not nearly as perfect as she previously pretended it to be. She's as f**d up as I am, scared and lost. She cried when I told her that we can't be friends because I still have feelings for her and once she leaves to LA we will probably never see each other again. She still tried to keep me around saying that now I have somebody to visit in LA. I asked "who?" and she was like "me!". I explained her one more time that even if I visit LA I will not visit her or even let her know I'm in town. That same chick told me that this is the worst year in her entire life. The same chick who told me a month ago how happy she is and how much she's enjoying her life. I know she doesn't feel like selling furniture and finding someone to sublet, that's why she needs me. If it was just for her I wouldn't even consider this, but I simply love my old place, location, rooftop with Chicago skyline view... Besides, having all the stuff we bought together would save me a LOT of money, we were buying everything we needed for five years! I'd say probably 5-10 grand worth of stuff if I had to buy it new! I'm still thinking about it. I know it's the best to leave past behind but there is simply no way around it. Everything reminds of her. Today I stopped by grocery store near my new apartment and guess what, I realized we've been there before together! The only way to avoid everything that reminds of her is to move out of town, out of state, maybe even out of country! I'm tired of running away, I'm facing my past and I'll make it. My worst nightmare is happening right now. I had nightmares before where I was all alone, she was gone and I felt the very same way I feel right now. Talk about dreams coming true
Cratsky Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 I would recommend against moving back in, regardless of the convenience. Is convenience worth the heartache? That's probably the most relevant question to ask yourself. Regardless of the emotions in this situation, you need to see that things take time to heal. Why go back if there may be still a part of you hoping for a hook up or what not? If it upsets you to see her so sad, you're going to find it hard to resist trying to rescue her when she needs to help herself. Take it slowly, focus on what you want to achieve in the next month and take it from there. They say it takes 6 months for people to make a permanent change. I doubt she's managed to get through any of her issues in the short time frame you've indicated? Can you handle being around someone miserable whilst you're trying to stay positive and improve on who you are in life?
Author thatsonlyme Posted November 3, 2010 Author Posted November 3, 2010 I would recommend against moving back in, regardless of the convenience. Is convenience worth the heartache? That's probably the most relevant question to ask yourself. Regardless of the emotions in this situation, you need to see that things take time to heal. Why go back if there may be still a part of you hoping for a hook up or what not? If it upsets you to see her so sad, you're going to find it hard to resist trying to rescue her when she needs to help herself. Take it slowly, focus on what you want to achieve in the next month and take it from there. They say it takes 6 months for people to make a permanent change. I doubt she's managed to get through any of her issues in the short time frame you've indicated? Can you handle being around someone miserable whilst you're trying to stay positive and improve on who you are in life? You're absolutely right, I still try to help her when she needs me, it's like a natural instinct to me, I'd been taking care of her all these years. She's not doing anything to help me though, all she talks is about her life is hard, how screwed up she is... Well honey, it was your choice wasn't it? I wouldn't be around her if I move back in because she's moving out anyway, that's why I'm even considering it. Living with her wouldn't do any good. It's not just about her being miserable, I wouldn't want to see her going out partying all the time and getting home drunk. That's what she does to break away from reality.
Alobar Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 You're absolutely right, I still try to help her when she needs me, it's like a natural instinct to me, I'd been taking care of her all these years. She's not doing anything to help me though, all she talks is about her life is hard, how screwed up she is... Well honey, it was your choice wasn't it? This sounds remarkably like my situation. My girlfriend and I just broke up and we still live together (leased for another 8 months). She had a lot of fears including driving so I used to do everything for her. I'd take her to school and grocery shopping and i did all the errands, etc. She hasn't yet asked me to drive her anywhere but if she does im going to find it hard to say no. My advice on this issue is to not do jack **** for her. How dare she expect all the boyfriend treatment without doing anything in return?
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