francis85 Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Hi, I've been reading about 'tactics' for getting an ex back as I believe my ex dumped me because he felt I treated him bad. I used to think it was him treating me bad but after a week apart I realise I did hurt hurt him and want to try again. Am trying not to make contact as I've read but it's his birthday tomorrow and I don't know what to do? My original thought was just a nice but non-romantic card and small gift. Then I thought just a card and now I'm wondering if nothing would be for the best? We only just split up so I had booked for us to go away later in the month but am guessing this would look a bit desperate now even though it's booked... Thnks in advance
skydiveaddict Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Don't send the card. Don't email him either. Don't call or text or anything else.
alphamale Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Am trying not to make contact as I've read but it's his birthday tomorrow and I don't know what to do? you don't do anything
whichwayisup Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 How long ago did you two break up? I gotta go with the flow and say no. Don't acknowledge his birthday. It'll hurt him more if you do.
Eternity001 Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 I'd have to agree with everyone else. I'd also like to point out, which I think is valid that by doing this you will have some form of expection in the response you get from him. If you don't get it the response you're after then it just becomes worse all round and more questions will probably surface in your mind.
Author francis85 Posted November 3, 2010 Author Posted November 3, 2010 How long ago did you two break up? I gotta go with the flow and say no. Don't acknowledge his birthday. It'll hurt him more if you do. It was 1.5 weeks ago. All I can think about is seeing him again and hate thinking that I won't be a part of his birthday even if only in name-in-card form...obviously I've been planning to spend the day with him as it was so close to break up Do you mean it'll hurt him more if I do send a card or if I don't? Also, what do I do if I see him, he only lives around the corner - do I wish him a good birthday or just act like I've forgotten/don't speak to him entirely?
Lovelydawn Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Hi, I've been reading about 'tactics' for getting an ex back as I believe my ex dumped me because he felt I treated him bad. I used to think it was him treating me bad but after a week apart I realise I did hurt hurt him and want to try again. well like you said he dumped you coz he felt like you treated him bad and if thats really the case then ignoring his birthday might just reinforce that idea.
ReturnToSender Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 I was thinking the same thing Lovelydawn... I wouldnt go as far as a card and gift though, unless you were on really good terms and very friendly with each other. My bday came a couple months after our breakup, my ex was out of the country and borrowed a friends phone to call me cause he doesnt have intl calling on his phone and he took me out for dinner when he came back. But hes the one who messed up and had lots of reasons to pull out the stops to try and do something special, cause he was also trying to reconnect too. His bday was a couple months after that, and I just called and wished him a happy bday. He was super happy that I contacted him...that was enough.
Author francis85 Posted November 3, 2010 Author Posted November 3, 2010 Thanks all. Getting late and still undecided... I always made such a big effort on birthdays, anniversary etc. but never saw much appreciation...so if I don't it may shock him and he might appreciate that I haven't because he wanted nc I think. But then again don't want to reinforce that I'm not nice to him...
ReturnToSender Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Just call him. It shows you remembered and cared enough to get in touch, but its not going overboard with gifts and such...esp since he didnt appreciate that in the past anyway then theres not much point going through all that effort for an ex now is there?
Author francis85 Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 I sent a generic card with a basic message but not even a thanks
ReturnToSender Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Arent you glad you didnt buy a gift too? Ah well.... dont dwell on it and let it go. Now you know any effort isnt worth it.
SithLord Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 you should have never brought him anything.......
Author francis85 Posted November 5, 2010 Author Posted November 5, 2010 Arent you glad you didnt buy a gift too? Ah well.... dont dwell on it and let it go. Now you know any effort isnt worth it. Have I ruined all chances of reconciliation? :(
ReturnToSender Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Youre not ruining anything... he is. If he wanted to recon he would have appreciated your gesture...
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