sweetbutcheeky Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 He lives in a room in a house and can't have ppl over. I live at my Mum's which going back to school. I live in the basement but there isn't a door to the basement or a door to my room. We wanted to watch some movies at home but with no house makes is hard. We are trying to figure out where we can go that is more imitate to get to know each other (talking without noisey ppl and music) and otherwise. Any ideas? (yes we talked about renting a room but both are students with lack of $$$)
Smoky Day Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 I am not clear on why he can't have people over. I have also rented a room in somebody else's house in the past, and could have people over when I wanted as long as we were reasonably quiet and respectful of the communal space. I have also had boyfriends over to my mom's house, when I lived at home. You are both adults, right?
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted November 3, 2010 Author Posted November 3, 2010 I am not clear on why he can't have people over. I have also rented a room in somebody else's house in the past, and could have people over when I wanted as long as we were reasonably quiet and respectful of the communal space. I have also had boyfriends over to my mom's house, when I lived at home. You are both adults, right? I will have to ask him why, he just said he wasn't allowed. For myself I am allowed (am 32 lol) I just meant it wasn't very private and he also isn't quite my bf, have gone out 3 times. (basement is open to upstairs and no door on my room / large opening with a curtain)
Smoky Day Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Definitely ask him...honestly I would wonder if he was married, since you don't know him very well yet. I see how your place would be lacking in privacy, but I guess it is what it is. If you or one of your friends is handy, I'd consider getting a real door put up to your room, it would drive me absolutely crazy not to have a door. As for places to go and talk that aren't noisy or spendy, you can linger over coffees at a cafe, or whisper at the library while showing each other your favorite books. And there's always long walks in the great outdoors. And places for the 'otherwise,' if you can't rent a room and you really can't use either of your places, you're gonna have to get creative. Quickies in the washroom, maybe. A friend's guest room. A tent on a camping trip. And cars work for teenagers, why not you?
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted November 3, 2010 Author Posted November 3, 2010 Definitely ask him...honestly I would wonder if he was married, since you don't know him very well yet. I see how your place would be lacking in privacy, but I guess it is what it is. If you or one of your friends is handy, I'd consider getting a real door put up to your room, it would drive me absolutely crazy not to have a door. As for places to go and talk that aren't noisy or spendy, you can linger over coffees at a cafe, or whisper at the library while showing each other your favorite books. And there's always long walks in the great outdoors. And places for the 'otherwise,' if you can't rent a room and you really can't use either of your places, you're gonna have to get creative. Quickies in the washroom, maybe. A friend's guest room. A tent on a camping trip. And cars work for teenagers, why not you? Since it's not my house I can't really start any renos, plus the opening is too wide for a door. I highly doubt it but will see what he says. Another problem is weather, is too cold out now or else it would be a little easier for general date ideas and private ones. Since all we have done so far is kissed, I haven't really pictured a washroom as the next step hee hee. I don't mind making out a little in the car, just not for our first time together. Thanks for your ideas, we will try and figure out something.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 Definitely ask him...honestly I would wonder if he was married, since you don't know him very well yet. I asked him and he said that he lives with a friend of his family and shares the room with his friend. Is temporary, but doesn't help our situation in the meantime.
BobSacamento Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 I asked him and he said that he lives with a friend of his family and shares the room with his friend. Is temporary, but doesn't help our situation in the meantime. Um pretty simple. He should ask his roommate to get lost for the night. Pay for a movie ticket for him or something. I mean it's bro code 101.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted November 5, 2010 Author Posted November 5, 2010 Um pretty simple. He should ask his roommate to get lost for the night. Pay for a movie ticket for him or something. I mean it's bro code 101. It may work if the roommate was the problem, but it's his friend' family's house. Who are doing him the temporary favour of living there.
BrianK Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Just find a flea bag cheap hotel and have at it...They aren't THAT expensive. Just make sure you grab it in the morning so you have 24+ hrs in it (dont get it late at night and have to be out of there at 10am check-out the next morning)
brainygirl Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 So . . . he share's a room with a friend in another person's house and you live with your folks and have a basement but no door . . . . ever thought of maybe getting your ***** together before looking for the next relationship?
TaurusTerp Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 So . . . he share's a room with a friend in another person's house and you live with your folks and have a basement but no door . . . . ever thought of maybe getting your ***** together before looking for the next relationship? What, poor people can't find love?
brainygirl Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 What, poor people can't find love? No, but there's a difference between poor and destitute. I have a cousin, she lives with her mom, she goes to school, she works ten hours a week as a home care attendent, and she's in the process of divorcing her husband. She's barely hanging on raising three kids, all of whom have special needs, but she's been talking to this guy for less than a week and they are already talking about moving in together. Yes, I think people in rough situations probably ought to hold off on serious relationships. This is coming from someone who was living on her father's couch four years ago after leaving my own husband.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted November 5, 2010 Author Posted November 5, 2010 So . . . he share's a room with a friend in another person's house and you live with your folks and have a basement but no door . . . . ever thought of maybe getting your ***** together before looking for the next relationship? What the **** is your problem? We are both students, I am going back to college which why I am staying at my Mum's. My room has a large opening which is why there is no door. I am using it as a bedroom but wasn't made as one, it is a very nice house and worth a lot in Toronto. He is finishing his last year of college and staying with a friend temporarily. Easy to judge isn't it?
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted November 5, 2010 Author Posted November 5, 2010 Just find a flea bag cheap hotel and have at it...They aren't THAT expensive. Just make sure you grab it in the morning so you have 24+ hrs in it (dont get it late at night and have to be out of there at 10am check-out the next morning) He mentioned getting a room too, but said wasn't a good time money wise or else he would. Maybe he didn't want a flee bag lol Will see what he says about maybe something in the middle.
brainygirl Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 What the **** is your problem? We are both students, I am going back to college which why I am staying at my Mum's. My room has a large opening which is why there is no door. I am using it as a bedroom but wasn't made as one, it is a very nice house and worth a lot in Toronto. He is finishing his last year of college and staying with a friend temporarily. Easy to judge isn't it? Ok, so if the situations are so transitory . . . why not wait to start a major relationship with intimacy until one or both of you can provide yourselves with some privacy?
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted November 5, 2010 Author Posted November 5, 2010 Ok, so if the situations are so transitory . . . why not wait to start a major relationship with intimacy until one or both of you can provide yourselves with some privacy? I am not going to wait 2 more years to date and meet someone. Why do you care anyway? What is your problem? We have been out a few times and wanted some alone time vs talking over music and people in a restaurant and so on ... Being able to be in a more relaxed setting and get to know each other more than a little kissing and hand holding would be nice to. Anyway I am going to ignore your responses cause your not trying to answer my question and I don't have to defend myself to you.
BobSacamento Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 It's not that she has to wait to get her own place but just find someone who does have their own place. That or this guy has to get creative and fast.
brainygirl Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 I am not going to wait 2 more years to date and meet someone. Why do you care anyway? What is your problem? We have been out a few times and wanted some alone time vs talking over music and people in a restaurant and so on ... Being able to be in a more relaxed setting and get to know each other more than a little kissing and hand holding would be nice to. Anyway I am going to ignore your responses cause your not trying to answer my question and I don't have to defend myself to you. You asked a question with an impossible answer, you refuse to go to your own place because there is no privacy even just to talk quietly and you can't go to his because he isn't allowed to even have a guest over. To me, someone who's done the school/kids/get your freaking life back together after its gone to hell thing, it seems like now is not the time or he isn't the person to get serious with. I'm sorry if that upsets you . . . but you can't expect to post a question on a public forum and to then love every reply you get.
Surrealist Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 BrainyGirl I don't see it as being impossible. Your posts read like you're in a bad mood because of your own dating issues. I think these guys should look to renting a room for private intimate stuff and hang out at other places such as going to movies, restaurants, or wherever takes your fancy. Where there's a will there's a way.
brainygirl Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 BrainyGirl I don't see it as being impossible. Your posts read like you're in a bad mood because of your own dating issues. I think these guys should look to renting a room for private intimate stuff and hang out at other places such as going to movies, restaurants, or wherever takes your fancy. Where there's a will there's a way. Yes, because I have a lousy dating life I must have no insight. I'm not calling anyone names or saying anything about anyone's character, it just sounds like an untenable situation.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted November 5, 2010 Author Posted November 5, 2010 You asked a question with an impossible answer, you refuse to go to your own place because there is no privacy even just to talk quietly and you can't go to his because he isn't allowed to even have a guest over. To me, someone who's done the school/kids/get your freaking life back together after its gone to hell thing, it seems like now is not the time or he isn't the person to get serious with. I'm sorry if that upsets you . . . but you can't expect to post a question on a public forum and to then love every reply you get. I was going to ignore you but I want to make something clear. No I don't expect to agree with everyone. But it's also one thing to answer someone's question and another to run your mouth and made judgements. When you don't know the details and also has nothing to do with the question. Obviously it is answerable since some people did answer, if you feel it's not then don't respond! I wasn't asking your advise on when to meet someone and decide to date. Plus you never know when you may meet someone special, passing them up for the "right time" would be a mistake. (I don't bow if he is, might not be but is with finding out)
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted November 5, 2010 Author Posted November 5, 2010 BrainyGirl I don't see it as being impossible. Your posts read like you're in a bad mood because of your own dating issues. I think these guys should look to renting a room for private intimate stuff and hang out at other places such as going to movies, restaurants, or wherever takes your fancy. Where there's a will there's a way. Thank you! We have gone to a movie, restaurant and pool. Will probably do more of the same and look into a room, even if it is just for privacy and watching movies. (then see what happens) You actually read my mind cause I felt like she was venting her own issues onto me!
brainygirl Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 I was going to ignore you but I want to make something clear. No I don't expect to agree with everyone. But it's also one thing to answer someone's question and another to run your mouth and made judgements. When you don't know the details and also has nothing to do with the question. Obviously it is answerable since some people did answer, if you feel it's not then don't respond! I wasn't asking your advise on when to meet someone and decide to date. Plus you never know when you may meet someone special, passing them up for the "right time" would be a mistake. (I don't bow if he is, might not be but is with finding out) Then why be so defensive? I'd be mortified if I didn't even have a place to sit and talk, so its weird to me to be dating . . . sorry if that bugs you. I don't care if your parents' house is expensive, it isn't yours and you don't feel you can have a guest. I didn't call you names, I simply suggested that if you want quality relationships with quality people, aim for someone who can at least have a place to sit and chat in private.
TaurusTerp Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Yes, because I have a lousy dating life I must have no insight. I'm not calling anyone names or saying anything about anyone's character, it just sounds like an untenable situation. Then why be so defensive? I'd be mortified if I didn't even have a place to sit and talk, so its weird to me to be dating . . . sorry if that bugs you. I don't care if your parents' house is expensive, it isn't yours and you don't feel you can have a guest. I didn't call you names, I simply suggested that if you want quality relationships with quality people, aim for someone who can at least have a place to sit and chat in private. If you put your love life on hold until everything in your life is settled, your love life will always be on hold. **** is always happening. People can still try to find someone to be with. It's depressing to think about someone living at home, broke, and alone.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted November 5, 2010 Author Posted November 5, 2010 No, but there's a difference between poor and destitute. Then why be so defensive? I'd be mortified if I didn't even have a place to sit and talk, so its weird to me to be dating . . . sorry if that bugs you. I don't care if your parents' house is expensive, it isn't yours and you don't feel you can have a guest. I didn't call you names, I simply suggested that if you want quality relationships with quality people, aim for someone who can at least have a place to sit and chat in private. No but you insulted my mother's house, my living situation and my choices... Why be defensive? I don't care If you care, I just mentioned it because you insulted it not having a door to my room. No it's not mine, but that is why I am going back to school. To be able to get a house of my own (one of the reasons) I didn't say I can't have people over, it just not private and when your newly dating someone privacy is something you need. You can still have a quality relationship with someone who doesn't have privacy at home.
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