wierdmunky Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 I have a friend who is my ex's brother. We met in 8th grade (28 now) and he has always said to me that he is always on my side no matter what. He's proven this true even after me and his brother J broke up. Me and J dated for 7 years, and were engaged. The thing is, I'm not sure how I feel with him being so connected to what I consider a really ugly situation in my life. It was a bad break up with me and his brother, and I've moved so far far from it and have a better life now. Me and the brother 'X' used to play music in church together, and keep in touch every now and then with birthday wishes and how we're doing in careers. Every time I hear from him though, it brings up some bad memories, and feelings even if it has nothing to do with the conversation. Part of it has to do with how he lives his life, and how much I tried to fit in with their family/lifestyle. They used to think they were just SO AWESOME, and I felt really small sometimes because I don't think SO highly of myself. There are things that I'm proud of, but I don't walk around feeling inflated. I also don't trust his sister. She made it a point to be rude to me in public all the time when I dated her brother, and now that me and him separated she's been much politer.. Anyways, I try to surround my self with more positive enforcing people, and sometimes my friends family seem more like energy suckers. I don't know why I feel that way. It's like it's hard for me to be a strong person when I'm around them. If anyone can provide me with some insight, it would be helpful. It took a lot of courage on my part to leave them, and I'm so much happier now knowing I'm investing more time in my own self, and feeling I can also contribute positively to the people around me now. I'd like to feel less helpless if I'm ever around his family again.
dreamingoftigers Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 If you and the brother have had a close friendship that pre-dates the relationship, I wouldn't give it up. I might take a step back for awhile. I was quite close with my ex's family before but now it is okay since I met my husband and am very close with his family. You get used to the distance and over the grief of losing that potential family after awhile.
ReturnToSender Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 There was a bit of time when I had to take a little break from my ex's parents and his sisters...Though we have an amazing relationship, for a moment there just being with or talking to them made me feel horrble cause it reminded me of the in-laws I nearly had. Thankfully, his step-mom is very persistent, and even after the teary message I left on her voicemail letting her know I just need to take a bit of a breather, she gave me a couple weeks then called me up and invited me out for a spa day, and we all had this girls day out which was mad fun and its been all good ever since. Depending on my mood, I either get a pang of sadness, or I laugh over the idea that of course they wouldnt have been my in-laws, no one ever loves thier in-laws *this* much LoL! But yeah, maybe just some time to collect yoruself wouldnt be a bad idea... But dont let the relationship wit yoru ex ruin a genuinely good relationshp with his brother just cause they are related.
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