Any "normal" people on here?

[always_searching]

So, I'm curious: are there any people on loveshack who would consider themselves normal? That is to say, are there any people on here who are happy/content, who believe that his/her life is relatively good with very little complaints?

 

From what I can tell, most of us are not "normal" in this sense of the word--we have issues, be it personal, psychological, emotional, etc. I mean, I suppose it makes sense that most of us would, else why come on loveshack? Though, I also suppose sane and normal people who are content with their lives could come on here just to offer advice, or to make new internet "friends." Or, maybe to brag about how great his/her life is.

 

 

Okay, so, back to the question: are there any people who fall into the "normal" category on here? If you think you're normal, why are you here? And, if you don't think you are normal, why not and why are you here?

 

I'll say I'm not "normal", because I have some psychological issues that I need to work through, relating back to my childhood. I come on here for advice, usually on problems that stem from this primordial psychological issue, and to offer what advice to others I can.

 

Edited November 2, 2010 by always_searching

[WTRanger]

If someone is "normal" in the sense that you are looking for, I would suspect that they are a robot sent from the future.

 

Having issues is normal. Not having issues is abnormal. Can you imagine what you day would be like if everything was perfect and worked exactly the way you wanted it to? It would be boring as sh*t!

 

Other than my recent situation, I can't really complain. I woke up alive today didn't I? I can still see, hear, feel, taste, smell, and get an erection so I really can't say I'm at odds with my life.

[always_searching]

If someone is "normal" in the sense that you are looking for, I would suspect that they are a robot sent from the future.

 

Having issues is normal. Not having issues is abnormal. Can you imagine what you day would be like if everything was perfect and worked exactly the way you wanted it to? It would be boring as sh*t!

 

Other than my recent situation, I can't really complain. I woke up alive today didn't I? I can still see, hear, feel, taste, smell, and get an erection so I really can't say I'm at odds with my life.

 

Haha...yes, well, I have no experience with erections, so I can't really say whether that helps lessen one's odds with life. (That being said, I would love to be a man for just a day to experience that and peeing while standing up!)

 

Anyway, I didn't state that "normal" implied "perfect." Obviously we would have to be dead--or a robot sent from the future--to achieve that kind of happiness.

 

I mean, someone with no complaints--someone who's content. Someone who always thinks positive, and sees life through rose colored glasses, and absolutely nothing seems to bother. I mean, I know people like this--shoot, I try to be like them! LOL, I mean, I have this one friend who is about the closest thing to a Disney Princess that I've ever met: Everything is roses; nothing ever goes wrong; every day is a blessing; etc.

 

So, though you are not at odds with life, per se, are you content? Are you happy with your life?

[lapse]

Wow. Like WTR said, this has everything to do with your definition of normal. I don't think I'd want to be normal, based on your post. It sounds like you're saying that a normal person would not bother ruminating about their relationship or breakup and would have no issues with it. Personally, I find tht disturbing.

 

Case in point: A bf and I broke up, gosh, 10 years ago... nasty breakup immediately following an abortion. The one thing that got me over him was that, following the abortion, he said he didn't "wonder about it and doesn't care." Well, if someone were going to write a book about someone else, which chapter would be more interesting or show more 'life': Chapter 1-1: GF has abortion and is devastated thinking about it, goes through major personal growth, etc. or Chapter 1-2: BF's fetus is aborted. He does not think about it and does not care. Next chapter >

 

And postscript: 6 years later, exbf comes back wanting to talk and having lots of regrets. Delayed effects, I believe. Nonetheless, point stands.

 

Anyway, I'd rather have an interesting life than an indifferent one.

[always_searching]

Wow. Like WTR said, this has everything to do with your definition of normal. I don't think I'd want to be normal, based on your post. It sounds like you're saying that a normal person would not bother ruminating about their relationship or breakup and would have no issues with it. Personally, I find tht disturbing.

 

Case in point: A bf and I broke up, gosh, 10 years ago... nasty breakup immediately following an abortion. The one thing that got me over him was that, following the abortion, he said he didn't "wonder about it and doesn't care." Well, if someone were going to write a book about someone else, which chapter would be more interesting or show more 'life': Chapter 1-1: GF has abortion and is devastated thinking about it, goes through major personal growth, etc. or Chapter 1-2: BF's fetus is aborted. He does not think about it and does not care. Next chapter >

 

And postscript: 6 years later, exbf comes back wanting to talk and having lots of regrets. Delayed effects, I believe. Nonetheless, point stands.

 

Anyway, I'd rather have an interesting life than an indifferent one.

 

So being happy and content with your life makes it uninteresting?

 

Interesting.

 

Well, I never said it was better to be "normal." I rather think not. I would much rather live through personal turmoil, experience tragedy, have loved and been hurt, rejected, etc.; experienced anger; etc. It's the nasty business that allows us to grow and makes life interesting--it's what makes life life.

 

Personally, I feel a bitter-sweetness toward happy and content people. I feel like it must be nice to have that kind of life/mindset and be oblivious to the pains and sufferings of the world. Then I think, "Shoot, at least I feel; at least I have honest perception of the world; I'll have enough time for contentment when I'm dead."

 

All that being said, I'm sorry about your situation. That sounds rather traumatic. I can't imagine what you went through.

[lapse]

So being happy and content with your life makes it uninteresting?

 

Interesting.

 

Well, I never said it was better to be "normal." I rather think not. I would much rather live through personal turmoil, experience tragedy, have loved and been hurt, rejected, etc.; experienced anger; etc. It's the nasty business that allows us to grow and makes life interesting--it's what makes life life.

 

Personally, I feel a bitter-sweetness toward happy and content people. I feel like it must be nice to have that kind of life/mindset and be oblivious to the pains and sufferings of the world. Then I think, "Shoot, at least I feel; at least I have honest perception of the world; I'll have enough time for contentment when I'm dead."

 

All that being said, I'm sorry about your situation. That sounds rather traumatic. I can't imagine what you went through.

 

I wouldn't say that being happy makes your life more interesting. Like you, I accept the ups and the downs... I wouldn't understand the ups without the downs. To be honest, sometimes I am 'happy' to be sad. Because it's how I truly feel. As long as I am honest with myself and present to what I'm feeling, I am ok. I anything but envy people who [pretend to be] perpetually happy. On the other hand, my quest for internal peace keeps me meditating and taking deep breaths. The emotional experiences around that, though... they all enrich our lives, imo.

 

Thanks for your comment about that situation. I was devastated at the time. I felt so conflicted throughout the decision-making and, even on the Day, was not settled with my decision. I was at a crossroads, though, and had to choose a path. What I regret is that my feelings about it were so wrapped up in what my bf wanted. That really complicated things. Anyway, just an anecdotal snapshot of strong emotions vs. indifference.

[WTRanger]

Haha...yes, well, I have no experience with erections, so I can't really say whether that helps lessen one's odds with life. (That being said, I would love to be a man for just a day to experience that and peeing while standing up!)

 

Anyway, I didn't state that "normal" implied "perfect." Obviously we would have to be dead--or a robot sent from the future--to achieve that kind of happiness.

 

I mean, someone with no complaints--someone who's content. Someone who always thinks positive, and sees life through rose colored glasses, and absolutely nothing seems to bother. I mean, I know people like this--shoot, I try to be like them! LOL, I mean, I have this one friend who is about the closest thing to a Disney Princess that I've ever met: Everything is roses; nothing ever goes wrong; every day is a blessing; etc.

 

So, though you are not at odds with life, per se, are you content? Are you happy with your life?

 

Yes, I am happy with my life. Even after things that went south with my jobs and relationships. If you are at odds with what is happening in your life, it is no different than trying to swim up river.

 

Try one night to write a list of things you are grateful that happened that day, even if it is as simple as you are grateful you are still alive. Get yourself to start to see that even when the sky is falling, little things still can happen to make your life content.

 

As the great comic George Carlin once said, "There's always the plus a headache. You could have all the problems in your day, plus a headache."

[PegNosePete]

Whenever I see disasters on the news such as the destruction caused by hurricane Tomas to St. Lucia, it puts my problems to shame. I realize that yes I have issues and unhappiness in my life, but at least I have food on my table and a roof over my head. Many of those people would give their right arm to trade places.

 

So am I happy and content with my life? Well, no. But I realize that it could be a hell of a lot worse.

[Username37]

So am I happy and content with my life? Well, no. But I realize that it could be a hell of a lot worse.

 

I agree with ya!

[carhill]

When I feel 'normal' coming on IRL, I just return to the 'Shack to get my fix, which appears to be quite often.

 

Mostly, it's sharing life experience and lessons from mistakes, aspects we all have in common. Community.

[Els]

I'm not anywhere near 'normal', in the sense of being like most other people in most aspects.

 

I can say that for the most part I am relatively happy and content with life, though - and although I may complain here (LS is my primary rage dump ), there are very few people I know whom I'd wish to switch lives with.

[Cee]

I'm a ridiculously happy and positive person. I was born happy and I've always been happy. But I dealt with some tough things in childhood like frequent emotional abuse and (less frequent) physical abuse. And my dad got cancer and died when I was a teen ager.

 

I don't know why I have such a positive outlook on life, but I have always been thrilled by the world and people around me. The littlest things delight me. When the world feels like it's crashing down, I manage to find that corner of light to keep me going.

 

I suffer from a chronic depressive disorder, which is hard, but it never flattened me. I go through periods where I want to give up, but my stubborn optimism will not be stopped. I can't help it- I was meant to be happy.

 

I consider myself one of the most blessed people in the world. I have no idea why I was granted the gift of optimism, but I cherish it. I cultivate positivity in everything. Last night, I lost my keys and couldn't get in my apartment. My roommate was downtown and I trekked down there and I saw a couple people I hadn't seen in months. I loved it. I told my roommate that I was glad I lost my keys or I wouldn't have had the chance to hang with him.

 

I wish I could bestow positivity on people, but it's something you must grab for yourself. Push through fear or superstition that something bad will happen if you allow yourself to be happy. Be happy about a tiny thing, like wishing on a star and the happiness will build from there.

[Meaplus3]

I consider myself farily normal.. I'm just a touch tweaked. Some anxiety and chronic pain.. other wise I have all my marbles.

 

 

Mea:)

[cozenedindigo]

I'm a ridiculously happy and positive person. I was born happy and I've always been happy. But I dealt with some tough things in childhood like frequent emotional abuse and (less frequent) physical abuse. And my dad got cancer and died when I was a teen ager.

 

I don't know why I have such a positive outlook on life, but I have always been thrilled by the world and people around me. The littlest things delight me. When the world feels like it's crashing down, I manage to find that corner of light to keep me going.

 

I suffer from a chronic depressive disorder, which is hard, but it never flattened me. I go through periods where I want to give up, but my stubborn optimism will not be stopped. I can't help it- I was meant to be happy.

 

I consider myself one of the most blessed people in the world. I have no idea why I was granted the gift of optimism, but I cherish it. I cultivate positivity in everything. Last night, I lost my keys and couldn't get in my apartment. My roommate was downtown and I trekked down there and I saw a couple people I hadn't seen in months. I loved it. I told my roommate that I was glad I lost my keys or I wouldn't have had the chance to hang with him.

 

I wish I could bestow positivity on people, but it's something you must grab for yourself. Push through fear or superstition that something bad will happen if you allow yourself to be happy. Be happy about a tiny thing, like wishing on a star and the happiness will build from there.

 

*Standing Ovation*

[Steadfast]

As a 51-YO divorced father, I'm probably about as normal as I'll ever be. My divorce forced me to face certain things about myself that I should have dealt with years ago. But, like my mother is apt to say; "You can't put an old head on new shoulders". Issues? Fewer than ever at this point. But they're my issues; I've earned them, and can relate with others who have them.

 

The reason I log into LS and post is simply remembering the enormous good that reading certain truths did for me personally. Things like knowing you can't control others, can't make someone love you, letting go and replacing anger with kindness. I try to pass those types of things on, remembering just how hopeless and lost I felt after my wife cheated and left. Some say that kind of pain is like childbirth; you can't duplicate it normally, but it's something you'll never forget. The best thing about LS is that it helps people make it through when they doubt they can. That's worthwhile-

[Trinity2]

So, I'm curious: are there any people on loveshack who would consider themselves normal? That is to say, are there any people on here who are happy/content, who believe that his/her life is relatively good with very little complaints?

 

From what I can tell, most of us are not "normal" in this sense of the word--we have issues, be it personal, psychological, emotional, etc. I mean, I suppose it makes sense that most of us would, else why come on loveshack? Though, I also suppose sane and normal people who are content with their lives could come on here just to offer advice, or to make new internet "friends." Or, maybe to brag about how great his/her life is.

 

 

Okay, so, back to the question: are there any people who fall into the "normal" category on here? If you think you're normal, why are you here? And, if you don't think you are normal, why not and why are you here?

 

I'll say I'm not "normal", because I have some psychological issues that I need to work through, relating back to my childhood. I come on here for advice, usually on problems that stem from this primordial psychological issue, and to offer what advice to others I can.

 

 

I have wondered this same thing, what is 'normal' anyway. Who defines normal? A abnormal person mostlikely who thinks they are normal:)

 

I know I'm not normal, and am too messed up right now from a break up and trying to be ok.

[threebyfate]

That is to say, are there any people on here who are happy/content, who believe that his/her life is relatively good with very little complaints?

This would be me.

[Idalis]

When it comes to the subject matter of LS I would consider "normal" to mean people who don't question their relationship, that would never have a need for LS as an outlet to ask questions that they could just ask their SO. Confident people that never shake in their confidence.

 

I've never been NORMAL in that sense in the past. I could say I am 95% there in my current relationship. And its taken 2.5 years to get there and a lot of communication with my SO.

 

Its not that I'm insecure, not at all actually and my life is pretty 'together' but when it comes to relationships I've always just feared. I think thats the best way to put it: I fear love, and attachment to people, b/c I fear the pain of failure and abandonment. My parents went on a 3 month trip when I was about 2 years old and my siblings were all older than me at the time. So they've suggested that my fear of abandonment is based on the fact that I never learned to trust as a child. (I wasn't abused but I didn't understand why my parents just up and left in my 2 year old mind, my sister is in mental health and she says that these were my formative years when I shouldve learned to trust) My siblings all have had very healthy relationships that they NEVER question and I've always admired that and have had to fight to emulate it. It doesn't come naturally to me. (And no, they didnt have perfect SO's all the time they just didn't sweat the small stuff whereas I DO)

 

It hasn't helped that I met some commitment phobe guys along the way that 'proved me right' in a sense. So my current relationship actually gives me that peace of mind that I had been seeking ALL of my life and I don't question it, and don't question that its true love, ,but like I said there's 5% of time when those old behaviors creep up and it takes me a day or two to re-center and shake it off. I'd say its happened once in the last year which is when I joined LS. Luckily I was able to talk to my bf about it and he didn't get tired of it like other people may have he re-assured me and I've gotten to a point where I don't need reassurance anymore, now I "just know" like people always told me I would.

 

I think it is possible to learn new behaviors it just takes the right SO, and having a set of standards that are the bare minimum you require. I never sought counseling, although I probably should have, my siblings joke that I owe them 1000's in therapy b/c I picked their brains a lot and read lots of books on psychology and trust. From what I gather most of the posts on LS are people that are settling for crumbs, know they are settling for crumbs, and are trying to convince themselves otherwise. I've been there so I know. It took me being practically 30 to know better. We all learn at our own pace. The other posts are due to lack of communication (of which I'm guilty quite often) and the only answer to those is talk about the problem with your SO, which isn't always the easiest thing to do for most people.

 

I was single for several years and during that time I really worked on myself, not like some people say go out and drink and club and have girls nights and hate men. I mean I WORKED On myself I analyzed my behaviors and tried to understand why ALL My relationships unraveled in exactly the same way. It was interesting what I found out about myself during that time, all while going on with my life in a completely happy way. I read a lot of books. And when I met my current bf everything just snapped in to place. So now I do consider myself "normal"

 

sorry! I didnt set out to write a novel, I swear!