GorillaTheater Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Women never initiate conversations with men not even with their ... husband Don't I wish.
PJKino Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Well all things being equal? Let's take a man and a woman of similar physical attractiveness. Let's say they're both 7's - 8's OK? Above average but not drop dead gorgeous. Both are getting ready to go out and hope maybe to meet someone. Woman - 2 hours choosing clothes, bathing, makeup etc etc. Outfit cost about $200 total. She makes sure to go with a couple of her girlfriends for safety and company. If they're not available there's always one of her 'just friends' guys willing to drive and watch over her. Man - 30 Minutes getting ready, outfit maybe $100. His buds are all busy and he's single so he has to fly solo. Woman - Gets to the club, orders a drink and talk with who she's with while checking out what's going on around. She notices a couple guys checking her out already but none walk up to her, she keeps an approachable attitude. Man - Gets to club, orders a drink and kinda looks around. Sees women in groups or with a guy and has trouble deciding who might or might not be interested. So he's there by himself and tries to start a conversation with the guy next to him. He sees a couple women who might be making eye contact back to him and has to gather up his courage to talk to one of them. Woman - Sees the guy making eye contact but notices that he's there by himself. Her mind goes into analysis, is he creepy? Is he a stalker? Is he dangerous? Oh, here he comes.. hmmm should I give him the brush off .. let's see what he does. The last guy bought me this nice drink but he had bad breath. The one before that wouldn't stop talking about himself and his stupid job. Man - OK, gotta keep my cool.. damn what do I say? huh???????
Jannah Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Well, so much for this thread turning out positive..... Hohum.
theBrokenMuse Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 r initiate conversations with men not even with their boyfriend or husband, Women never initiate phone calls to men not even in a long term relationship, Women never initiate dates ever, Women never initiate any kind of intimacy like kisses or hugs or sex with men ever and again not even with their husband/boyfriend. This all or nothing type of thinking (it has to be EVERY SINGLE ONE or NO ONE AT ALL) is a bad road to go down intellectually speaking. It does not lead to realistic conclusions and tends to really undermine whatever point the person may have otherwise made.
carhill Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Don't I wish. :lmao: Amen brother... Myself, I've grown to love the discerning eye women cast upon the old jalopy which has stopped to pick them up on their date while they wonder 'does this guy have a job?' and 'oy, I can only imagine the greasy burger joint he's going to take me to' and 'I hope my tidy whities don't get soiled on those old seats' OK, women do have it much harder. I give
sally4sara Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Women never approach men, ever. And by ever I mean it has never actually happened through the history of mankind So that your ex approached you is either a lie, or you don't know the defention of approaching. Because a woman have never gone up to a man first and initiated a conversation ever. When I come across statements like the ones you make, I begin to stop listening and eventually completely ignore the person making these kind of statements to avoid dealing with a mind full of irrational thoughts. And I'm betting you find yourself predominantly ignored by girls in your day to day. Are these two circumstances related? I think its likely they are.
waynebrady Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 When I come across statements like the ones you make, I begin to stop listening and eventually completely ignore the person making these kind of statements to avoid dealing with a mind full of irrational thoughts. And I'm betting you find yourself predominantly ignored by girls in your day to day. Are these two circumstances related? I think its likely they are. I don't get ignored by women, I talk to them everyday pretty much but I never try to pursue them and I never approach them in that sense, so it would be impossible for me to be ignored by women that way. And btw grow up and quit it with the personal insults they are ridicilous
Jannah Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 I don't get ignored by women, I talk to them everyday pretty much but I never try to pursue them and I never approach them in that sense, so it would be impossible for me to be ignored by women that way. And btw grow up and quit it with the personal insults they are ridicilous So according to this^^, why are the majority of your posts within this thread, suggesting otherwise..........?
waynebrady Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 So according to this^^, why are the majority of your posts within this thread, suggesting otherwise..........? What do you mean suggesting otherwise? I don't really have any experience with women(which I have said before), my statements are based on common knowledge aswell as what I see on dating type sites like this and what I have seen everywhere. And that is pretty much that women never initiate anything with men, and that's what most of my posts are about. So far I haven't been proved otherwise...
dispatch3d Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 When I come across statements like the ones you make, I begin to stop listening and eventually completely ignore the person making these kind of statements to avoid dealing with a mind full of irrational thoughts. And I'm betting you find yourself predominantly ignored by girls in your day to day. Are these two circumstances related? I think its likely they are. man so much hate. This kind of thing is what guys complain about. I mean rejection isn't that bad, but sometimes girls just really **** on you. Pretty much if a girl gets angry she will attempt to get everyone else angry. It's not a fun thing to be involved in. Misery loves company? Guys are obviously guilty too, don't get me wrong, everyone does it. It just sucks when you "put yourself out there" and are greeted with these kinds of things. Especially if your the kind of person to take people seriously/literally/believe what they say has to be true. I only read the female comments because I wanted a female-biased opinion. I wish I could truly believe girls have it worse, and sure some of them do. I just can't help thinking that having 10 girls in line constantly waiting to date me would be a better situation than what I currently have.
musemaj11 Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Women have it easier. Its just that they tend to not be able to tell the good guy and bad guy apart. And sometimes they can, but they just refuse to listen to their intuition. I can tell if someone is trustworthy and whether that person has compatible personality by talking to her/him for one hour. I know when someone is showing real behavior or putting on a show. So, if I were a woman, Im sure dating would be very easy for me.
Tim The Enchanter Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Women have it on a damn plate, and it's ridiculous to pretend otherwise.
Jannah Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 What do you mean suggesting otherwise? I don't really have any experience with women(which I have said before), my statements are based on common knowledge aswell as what I see on dating type sites like this and what I have seen everywhere. And that is pretty much that women never initiate anything with men, and that's what most of my posts are about. So far I haven't been proved otherwise... I don't dispute that the majority of men, do the approaching. However, based on what you've written, YOU do not approach women, so there is no personal basis to draw such a conclusion that ALL men do the approaching. There are women who approach men, but since you are not a woman, you do not have any evidence to support that claim nor refute it.
Tim The Enchanter Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Be an adult and realize that NO ONE has it easy. LIFE isn't easy. For anyone!! Utter rubbish. There is a whole spectrum of human experience that ranges from easy living to abject misery. Are you going to tell me that Paris Hilton has a hard life, compared to someone living in Sudan?
theBrokenMuse Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Utter rubbish. There is a whole spectrum of human experience that ranges from easy living to abject misery. Are you going to tell me that Paris Hilton has a hard life, compared to someone living in Sudan? I think she was trying to say that everyone has their own personal demons and miseries in this life. Experiencing suffering be it emotional or physical is just one of those things that's universal and yes, that would go for Paris Hilton too.
KraftDinner Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 I don't know if this point has been brought up, but to say that women don't have to deal with rejection is ridiculous. When you go out with a girlfriend or many girlfriends, and she/they get hit on and you don't, that is rejection. Even though nobody is looking at you and outright saying, "Umm...NOPE" it is rejection -- being ignored while the other ladies get hit on is rejection.
bac Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 I have no idea where this perception that in terms of dating women get to take a buffet approach comes from. It's simply not true from what I see. Look at this logically. When a woman responds positively to my advances there is a really high chance that she likes me. Yes, I must face some rejection. However I face rejection constantly in all aspects of my life and I have learned to handle it. For a woman when she recieves advances from a man it could mean anything from game playing, to him wanting a one nighter, all the way to him wanting a relationship. How can she tell? That would be insanely frustrating to me. Plus if you get it wrong or find he lied... it hurts way worse than some small rejection right at the start. Next, the guys who approach are not always what you may want or even when you may want it. I was at a bar some time back and this big... I mean really big 6'2" 300-400lbs woman came up to me while I was getting drinks for me and my friends. She started to give me a back massage... which was uncomfortable. I went to make some small talk so I could tell her I'm not interested nicely... but mid conversation she grabs my hand and starts to massage it... popping my thumb in the process. It hurt like crazy, so I just cut to the chase and told her I'm not interested. She got upset and yelled at me... told me to stick to the skinny girls. My thumb still hurts sometimes! I imagine that must be how many women feel being aggressively approached by some guy they have no interest in. Additionally... for the most part I get to choose the women I approach. Yeah some might turn me away... but can select anyone I want. I would much rather be able to go after whatever I want than to be forced to sit back and wait. The only thing I'm not a super huge fan of is that I would like more courtesy when a woman isn't interested in another date. Don't order a bottle of $100 wine, the steak and lobster... then not return a phonecall. It's rude and I see it happen a lot. Otherwise for all you males who are jealous of the dating process for the fairer sex. Really put some thought into it. You should be happy with what you have. You are right about all the things you said. In fact, that was very smart of a male. It is not often that a male is capable of empathy to women. As a woman, I think that it is harder to be a woman. Women are approached more often than men are. But, it is not what women are looking for. In fact, it is exactly what they hate. They are approached a lot because the men who approach them are not selective. They simply approach every moving target to get laid and they want to do that on 1-5 dates. But, women want to find a serious relationship, love and a special guy, or at least smth close to that. Men, could you imagine that you are approached a lot by women who only want to get married and make babies after 1-5 dates. I assume that you are normal males who want to get laid and do not want to get married as soon as possible. What would be your reaction? Could you consider yourself fortunate because many the women approached you? You would reject the women who wanted to get married and you would feel very frustrated with your dating situation. It is because the women offered you exactly what you hated to do the most. Women feel the same way about the men who are very available to them. The men offer them exactly what women hate. I mean to use the women as a sexual object. Therefore, women feel frustrated about dating.
EricaH329 Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 (edited) Utter rubbish. There is a whole spectrum of human experience that ranges from easy living to abject misery. Are you going to tell me that Paris Hilton has a hard life, compared to someone living in Sudan? And here comes the answer... I think she was trying to say that everyone has their own personal demons and miseries in this life. Experiencing suffering be it emotional or physical is just one of those things that's universal and yes, that would go for Paris Hilton too. Exactly! Whether you are rich or poor, grew up with great parents or no parents, everyone has their OWN issues. On this topic, why do you think that famous people do drugs and alcohol? Go into rehabs constantly, and some even mental facilities? Life isn't always greener on the other side... and that mentality will get you no where quick. Living your life comparing what you have to what others have, will only make you miserable. But, I suppose that some enjoy being miserable. Which is fine, to each their own, but don't try to encourage others to be miserable or share the same close minded opinion as you yourself do (not anyone in particular). It's all about perspective. You could have the crappiest luck, with nothing left to lose, and if you keep positive and hold your head up high then guess who you are making happy? Yourself! But after reading through this thread, it's apparent that some don't want to be happy. They'd rather wallow in misery. And again, to each their own. EDIT: I'd also like to add that whoever is about to say, "It isn't easy to stay positive after all this rejection/bad luck/etc.", i'd like to ask one question. Who said it was going to be easy? Who said life was going to be easy? Who said rejection, dating, marriage, working, taking care of children, etc. would be easy? If you think about it, no one. That's because it's not easy. What is easy, however, is pointing fingers and refusing to acknowledge your own issues that need to be worked on. One thing I can promise, is that after some serious soul searching and realizing and accepting all these things, that life is much easier to be optimistic about. Your choice. But don't start complaining when you refuse to do it, and decide to take the 'it's always greener on the other side' approach. Edited November 3, 2010 by EricaH329
Mad Max Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Correction: ATTRACTIVE people have it easier in dating.
cassie9 Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Than if they click and she gives the guy her number she has to wait for him to call. And speaking as a guy, many times I never call because I over think it, am afraid of rejection, what to say, blah, blah. I did it recently and am not proud of it but it is what it is... Really? While you're over-thinking it and choosing not to call instead of taking the risk, we're over-thinking why you never called when we thought you were into us
counterman Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 It's all relative, I believe. The fact that most women do just wait could be a major reason why they have it harder. However, traditionally, it's always been the guys that chase the girls, that makes the first move. But, what happens when that system breaks down? Girls are still waiting and no guys are asking them out. What happens then? It is unrealistic that it will happen, but insanity is doing something over and over again and expecting a different result. If a girl has been waiting her whole damn life (exaggerated here), then maybe try a different approach than waiting? An issue I have is that most of the guys that do complain about having it harder are the ones that do not take risks and just ask girls out; they're so scared of rejection. They try once, get rejected and say they have it hard. Adding in the lives of my girl friends, most of them have NEVER been approached. They are worried that won't change. So, I asked them "would you ever ask a guy no?" They said no, they'll just keep waiting. Then, I think to myself "Man, I am sure glad I get to pick who I ask out and even get dates from some of them"
Titania22 Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Ok, well the thread seemed to get very heated for a bit, and I want to lighten the mood. On the subject of women doing the approaching. A week or 2 ago there was a thread, where a guy was encouraged to go up to many attractive women and say something nice and walk away, so he could get over the anxiety of approaching women. And I thought that was an awesome idea, because I get very anxious about approaching men I find attractive (doesn't mean I won't approach, it just means I act weird when i do). So I thought I should try it. Last friday night I went to a club I had never been, but I had high hopes it would contain at least a few guys I could find attractive, and I promised myself that I would have a go, just saying something nice and walking away. So at the end of the night, I made myself. So Lame! I went up to this guy and told him, 'You seem really lovely'. I know, so lame right. I guess he seemed 'lovely' because he wasn't blind drunk or groping anyone. Anyway I did it, and I left. And tonight I am going out again to the same place, and am looking forward to seeing myself take some more affirmative action. I mean, seriously, even flirting from afar is a bit of a challenge, if I can't stop grinning when a cute guy looks at me, and then I trip over. I seriously love my life. What do you guys think?
Surrealist Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 My personal experience with women approaching me - I can't say I have ever had a woman approach me directly, in so much she has clearly asked me out or asked me for anything. However I certainly have had plenty of women clearly show interest. I kick myself at some of the 'opportunities' I failed to seize upon. Seriously some of these chicks have been absolutely glam hot!! I've had a few middle age overweight women showing interest as well and they tend to be more obvious with their gestures. However all can vary in their persistence, especially the ones (only the glams tho - sorry) I reciprocate some subtle interest and flirtations. Even though I have failed to seize such opportunities, plenty more do / will arise so I don't feel all that bad about it, on the contrary really, it lets me know "I still got it".
dispatch3d Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 I've had women hit on me (girls version, they go talk to a random) maybe 9-10 times in the past two to three years. I think this started threeish years ago. When I was 21 and under I had never gotten hit on at a bar/concert like that.
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