Women Do Not Have It Easier In Dating!

[EricaH329]

O well crap man, since your ex (I'm assuming you're a man and the ex is a woman to make your point against me) approached you at a bar one night I am convinced that women clearly have a harder time in dating!

 

Hmm now my turn to use your emoticon!

 

I'm going to assume that no matter what anyone says, you will not be convinced that there is any truth outside of your opinion.

 

This whole 'Men have it harder!' 'Women have it harder!' thing is extremely childish. We might as well have an all out dirt throwing war while we are at it.

 

Be an adult and realize that NO ONE has it easy. LIFE isn't easy. For anyone!! Everyone has their own problems. Pointing fingers and playing the blame game doesn't do anything but show immaturity and delays yourself from becoming a better person.

[carhill]

The OP, in providing the example of the 'large' woman who approached him at the bar brought up a relevant dynamic.

 

One: In most public social situations, the only response a man can reasonably have to a woman's rejection is to walk away. Any attempts to become aggressive will likely be met with resistance and/or violence by other men as well as the local LEO's giving him a nice ride to the police station, or perhaps an ambulance to the hospital.

 

Two: Women are socialized to be approached and handle being approached. Their egos are molded from their very early years of manipulating daddy and wrapping him around their finger. They're used to saying and doing things which someone who hasn't been socialized in such a way might find distasteful. Trust me, I've heard and experienced plenty of the results of such ego and socialization. One sees it right here on LS, by women in successful and happy marriages, in how they interact with male posters.

 

OP, IMO, the dating dynamic is what it is. There are always going to be multiple perspectives, with reality laying somewhere in between. You don't see women empathizing much with men's predicaments in dating and relationships and I think that's instructive, and in fact mirrors what I've experienced in real life. 'Man-up' buddy, own your balls and do what you gotta do. That's it

[Pyro]

I thought he was only making the point that men aren't always the aggressors/initiators. She took a chance and approached him, instead of waiting for him, or anyone else, to approach her.

 

That isn't what this thread is about. It's about merely stating that women don't have it "easy."

 

Stay on topic please.

 

thank you. I was getting a headache from the lack of open-mindedness.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Ah, here we go.

You find an assertive woman, men label her aggressive.

But come across an assertive man and he'll soon be CEO.

 

Assertive is not aggressive.

 

It's women that can't tell the difference that turn guys off.

 

Whether women make good CEO's or not is a debate for another day.

[donnamaybe]

I'm going to assume that no matter what anyone says, you will not be convinced that there is any truth outside of your opinion.

 

This whole 'Men have it harder!' 'Women have it harder!' thing is extremely childish. We might as well have an all out dirt throwing war while we are at it.

 

Be an adult and realize that NO ONE has it easy. LIFE isn't easy. For anyone!! Everyone has their own problems. Pointing fingers and playing the blame game doesn't do anything but show immaturity and delays yourself from becoming a better person.

Erica, YOU ROCK!!!

[EricaH329]

For the most part I agree.

 

what I don't agree with is the implication, perhaps unintended, that men who always get rejected are not worth getting to know.

 

Also, in my experience it's a lot easier to endure rejection the majority of the time when the majority of the time does not approach all the time. Trying to maintain a positive outlook then becomes increasingly difficult. If not downright impossible.

 

No no, I think you misunderstood. What I was trying to say, is that if a man were to get rejected, and still have a positive outlook... he would be worth getting to know.

 

As you can clearly see, there are men who no longer have a positive attitude, and instead revert to childish behavior. Those are the types of men that IMO aren't worth getting to know. But, that has to do with my own personal standards. I don't like a man (or a woman for that matter) who is incapable of realizing that life mostly consists of disappointments, and that life isn't always fair.

[PJKino]

I would love for a women to approach me for once and show intereest in ME for once in my life,id do cartwheels id be so happy so i dont see your point at all untouchable

[Pyro]

It's like walking a tightrope.

 

I've been down that road before, and it was a huge turnoff. I always felt like... Man just back off and give me some space.

 

If she is aggressive at the start then pulls back... it is too easy to assume she is just playing games with you. Besides who wants that push and pull game?

 

it is difficult to determine when is not enough or when is it just right or when is it too much. One of the challenges and difficulties of dating.

 

At least for me I learned through the years for the most part when a girl is and is not interested in me.

[donnamaybe]

Assertive is not aggressive.

Well then prove you know the difference by not accusing women who would approach a man of being a "thumb breaker."

[sumdude]

OP, IMO, the dating dynamic is what it is. There are always going to be multiple perspectives, with reality laying somewhere in between. You don't see women empathizing much with men's predicaments in dating and relationships and I think that's instructive, and in fact mirrors what I've experienced in real life. 'Man-up' buddy, own your balls and do what you gotta do. That's it

 

Uh-yuh.. that about sums it up.

 

As somebody whos deathly afraid of rejection and not good at talking to strangers the "rules" do crush my chances..

 

Ive also never gotten women and never gotten positive reinforcements about how i look only negative so i already go with the mindset why bother women arent attracted to me..

 

Well the reality is? Women judge men by their character as more if not more than their appearance. So the simple fact a man has the balls to approach and risk rejection ups his attraction level to her.

 

So you're choice is to either face your fears or experience no change. It's up to you. No man like to be shot down in flames, especially in a public setting like a bar or club. But fortune favors the bold.

 

 

I think the same season Babe Ruth had the home run record he also had the strikeout record.

[bayouboi]

That isn't what this thread is about. It's about merely stating that women don't have it "easy."

 

Stay on topic please.

 

Actually, the thread is titled "Women Do Not Have It Easier In Dating!" followed by the OP that basically describes why women have a more difficult time in dating than men do. That is the idea that I am combating. I agree that "women don't have it easy" just as "men don't have it easy". We both have our challenges. The point I was combating with Pyro was that his exception of his ex approaching him first is by NO means the typical scenario for men and women dating.

[donnamaybe]

Actually, the thread is titled "Women Do Not Have It Easier In Dating!" followed by the OP that basically describes why women have a more difficult time in dating than men do. That is the idea that I am combating. I agree that "women don't have it easy" just as "men don't have it easy". We both have our challenges.

Well, another voice of sanity then!

 

Welcome to the jungle!!!

[Hi.P.O'Crit]

go out more and you will see that women approach men as well. Men still do a majority of the time though.

 

I will say it again: my ex approached me when we first met.

 

I'm willing to bet that it won't matter how many times you say it. Certain people have that, 'My opinion is right! No matter what!' attitude. Which again, i'm willing to bet, that those certain people have an extremely difficult time finding partners.

 

To be fair, Pyro's post didn't negate anything in wb's post.

 

Yes, some women approach men, but they don't have to approach.

[PJKino]

Uh-yuh.. that about sums it up.

 

 

 

Well the reality is? Women judge men by their character as more if not more than their appearance. So the simple fact a man has the balls to approach and risk rejection ups his attraction level to her.

 

So you're choice is to either face your fears or experience no change. It's up to you. No man like to be shot down in flames, especially in a public setting like a bar or club. But fortune favors the bold.

 

 

I think the same season Babe Ruth had the home run record he also had the strikeout record.

 

Stop it with this women dont care about appereance its so not true they care about looks just as much as Men..

 

If i hear another you always see fat ugly guys with hot girls im gonna flip because i never see it unless the guys wealthy and famous..

 

I see allot of single women im "acquaintances" with ask their friends what happened to all the cute single guys all the time

 

The notion that looks are secondary to women is laughable..

[Hi.P.O'Crit]

No no, I think you misunderstood. What I was trying to say, is that if a man were to get rejected, and still have a positive outlook... he would be worth getting to know.

 

As you can clearly see, there are men who no longer have a positive attitude, and instead revert to childish behavior. Those are the types of men that IMO aren't worth getting to know. But, that has to do with my own personal standards. I don't like a man (or a woman for that matter) who is incapable of realizing that life mostly consists of disappointments, and that life isn't always fair.

 

No, I don't think I misunderstood. Reread the third paragraph.

 

For the most part I agree.

 

what I don't agree with is the implication, perhaps unintended, that men who always get rejected are not worth getting to know.

 

Also, in my experience it's a lot easier to endure rejection the majority of the time when the majority of the time does not approach all the time. Trying to maintain a positive outlook then becomes increasingly difficult. If not downright impossible.

[Anela]

 

The notion that looks are secondary to women is laughable..

 

I would find and link to a few actual examples that would prove this is not the case - and not using rockstars and models - but according to EasyHeart, tami-chan and others, this is a generalization and I shouldn't be bothered to try to ease your mind on the matter.

[sumdude]

Well all things being equal? Let's take a man and a woman of similar physical attractiveness. Let's say they're both 7's - 8's OK? Above average but not drop dead gorgeous. Both are getting ready to go out and hope maybe to meet someone.

 

Woman - 2 hours choosing clothes, bathing, makeup etc etc. Outfit cost about $200 total. She makes sure to go with a couple of her girlfriends for safety and company. If they're not available there's always one of her 'just friends' guys willing to drive and watch over her.

 

Man - 30 Minutes getting ready, outfit maybe $100. His buds are all busy and he's single so he has to fly solo.

 

Woman - Gets to the club, orders a drink and talk with who she's with while checking out what's going on around. She notices a couple guys checking her out already but none walk up to her, she keeps an approachable attitude.

 

Man - Gets to club, orders a drink and kinda looks around. Sees women in groups or with a guy and has trouble deciding who might or might not be interested. So he's there by himself and tries to start a conversation with the guy next to him. He sees a couple women who might be making eye contact back to him and has to gather up his courage to talk to one of them.

 

Woman - Sees the guy making eye contact but notices that he's there by himself. Her mind goes into analysis, is he creepy? Is he a stalker? Is he dangerous? Oh, here he comes.. hmmm should I give him the brush off .. let's see what he does. The last guy bought me this nice drink but he had bad breath. The one before that wouldn't stop talking about himself and his stupid job.

 

Man - OK, gotta keep my cool.. damn what do I say?

[waynebrady]

Zero work, eh? Watch what happens when a woman doesn't spend all kinds of time doing her hair and makeup.

 

Yeah that's the ONLY work you have to do. Men have to do EVERYTHING else and keep in shape, have money, dress well. I know it takes time to look pretty for women but compared to what men have to do it's very little.

 

Women have to spend time doing hair and makeup and so on.

 

Men have to take all the initatives, put in all the effort, do all the chasing and so on.

 

What do you think is harder?

 

I'll also add that women never have to suffer during break ups because it's always the woman who does the breaking up.

[Anela]

I'll also add that women never have to suffer during break ups because it's always the woman who does the breaking up.

 

You honestly think this is true? Why?

[donnamaybe]

Yeah that's the ONLY work you have to do. Men have to do EVERYTHING else and keep in shape,

Men have to keep in shape and women don't?! Ah HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lmao:

 

You have no right to that screen name. The real WB wouldn't make such ridiculous assertions.

[waynebrady]

go out more and you will see that women approach men as well. Men still do a majority of the time though.

 

I will say it again: my ex approached me when we first met.

 

Women never approach men, ever. And by ever I mean it has never actually happened through the history of mankind So that your ex approached you is either a lie, or you don't know the defention of approaching. Because a woman have never gone up to a man first and initiated a conversation ever.

[waynebrady]

Men have to keep in shape and women don't?! Ah HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lmao:

 

You have no right to that screen name. The real WB wouldn't make such ridiculous assertions.

 

Did I say women don't have to keep in shape?

[sumdude]

Women never approach men, ever. And by ever I mean it has never actually happened through the history of mankind So that your ex approached you is either a lie, or you don't know the defention of approaching. Because a woman have never gone up to a man first and initiated a conversation ever.

 

Hmmm.. I've been approached a few times in my life. It's just a conversation after all. One of my exes surprised me one day too. We were friends trying to start a band together. One day in the car she looks at me and says..

 

"You know, I've been wondering what it would be like to kiss you."

 

We dated for 3 months, she ended it. Now I'm on the other side wishing it had lasted.. oh well. Never say never. That goes for the guys who think men are never approached and the girls who think that being the initiator is always a bad thing.

[GorillaTheater]

Women never approach men, ever. And by ever I mean it has never actually happened through the history of mankind So that your ex approached you is either a lie, or you don't know the defention of approaching. Because a woman have never gone up to a man first and initiated a conversation ever.

 

Well sure. I mean, in your experience.

[waynebrady]

like I said men still approach a majority of the time. My point is that women don't just sit back all the time. They take initiative as well.

 

No they don't, women are completley unable to take initiatives when it comes to men... but when it comes to everything else it's fine.

 

Women never initiate conversations with men not even with their boyfriend or husband, Women never initiate phone calls to men not even in a long term relationship, Women never initiate dates ever, Women never initiate any kind of intimacy like kisses or hugs or sex with men ever and again not even with their husband/boyfriend.