waynebrady Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Your sitting back and looking at your farm and just expecting the corn to grow. You have to put in the work to plant it.... and the good news is that YOU get to pick what kind of food to grow. Yeah and guess what? Women don't have to put in the work, therefore they have it easier. Men get rejected all the time, Women never get rejected. Women can put in zero effort, take zero initiatives, never risk rejection, never do anything and still get into a relationship with a man... What's so hard about that?
carhill Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 I would agree that the dating *process* is fairly equal, wrt 'ease', but IMO women do demonstrably have an easier time *getting* dates than men do, assuming 'average' for either gender. This opinion presumes both genders select only those whom they find attractive enough for an initial meeting (date). A number of men approach one woman; she selects one (or more) which meet her baseline criteria for 'attraction'. OTOH, unless a man is literally 'attracted' to anything with tits and ass that moves, his 'selection' process is additionally burdened by sorting through a myriad of potentials to even find one to approach, then becoming one of those 'number' which approach the lady at any given time/day/week/month. I do admit that there are a lot of men who 'hit on' anything remotely female, regardless of demonstrated relationship status (meaning married people too) and I would surmise their ease of getting dates and/or sex likely rivals that of women. So, if we take the most indiscriminate of men and pair them up with 'average' women who do discriminate, then I'd say the process of reaching the first date is pretty equal. After that, a lot more equal, as there would be demonstrated interest from both sides and the risks would balance out. As an anecdote, having dated for many years and having been married, I can say without qualification that a woman has never asked me out on a date and the only women who have proactively approached me sexually/emotionally (not to date) have been married. Perhaps that's atypical for a man but it has been my experience. It is what it is.
Pyro Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Yeah and guess what? Women don't have to put in the work, therefore they have it easier. Men get rejected all the time, Women never get rejected. Women can put in zero effort, take zero initiatives, never risk rejection, never do anything and still get into a relationship with a man... What's so hard about that? go out more and you will see that women approach men as well. Men still do a majority of the time though. I will say it again: my ex approached me when we first met.
AD1980 Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 I will say it again: my ex approached me when we first met. Doesnt happen allot especially for average or unattractive Men
donnamaybe Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Yeah and guess what? Women don't have to put in the work, therefore they have it easier. Men get rejected all the time, Women never get rejected. Zero work, eh? Watch what happens when a woman doesn't spend all kinds of time doing her hair and makeup.
Pyro Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Doesnt happen allot especially for average or unattractive Men like I said men still approach a majority of the time. My point is that women don't just sit back all the time. They take initiative as well.
waynebrady Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 exactly! can't everyone on here just agree that dating in general has its individual pros and cons for both genders? Neither side is going to win this debate. Ok. Pros for women: Don't have to put in any effort, Don't have to take any intiatives, Don't have to risk rejection, Any woman who are even average looking will get approached alot and just need to sit back and choose, Women are desired more and therefore have it easier to get into a relationship. Cons for women: ??? Pros for men: Get to choose who they approach... Cons for men: Will get rejected by most of whom they approach unless they are rich or super attractive, Have to initiatie every date, every phone call, every contact at all times not just in the beggining but all the time as well, have to work hard to get a woman and be peristant, never get to experience what it's like to be desired or wanted by a woman.
AD1980 Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Zero work, eh? Watch what happens when a woman doesn't spend all kinds of time doing her hair and makeup. I didnt realize Men can just look like bums and get dates
EricaH329 Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 go out more and you will see that women approach men as well. Men still do a majority of the time though. I will say it again: my ex approached me when we first met. I'm willing to bet that it won't matter how many times you say it. Certain people have that, 'My opinion is right! No matter what!' attitude. Which again, i'm willing to bet, that those certain people have an extremely difficult time finding partners. That's not an attractive quality. It's actually probably one of the worst qualities, aside from being an abusive person. But... as many of us have seen here on LS, some people absolutely cannot handle taking a good hard look at themselves. So instead, they revert to blaming everyone else for their faults. Vicious cycle.
donnamaybe Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Cons for men: Will get rejected by most of whom they approach unless they are rich or super attractiveOR if they have a lousy attitude or a shyt personality.
Pyro Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 I'm willing to bet that it won't matter how many times you say it. Certain people have that, 'My opinion is right! No matter what!' attitude. Which again, i'm willing to bet, that those certain people have an extremely difficult time finding partners. That's not an attractive quality. It's actually probably one of the worst qualities, aside from being an abusive person. But... as many of us have seen here on LS, some people absolutely cannot handle taking a good hard look at themselves. So instead, they revert to blaming everyone else for their faults. Vicious cycle. exactly! Certain people on here fit that description.
donnamaybe Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 I didnt realize Men can just look like bums and get datesDid I say that? I said they shower and put on clean clothes and comb their hair. You KNOW it takes a woman much longer to look like the kind of gal men would approach. Unless I missed something and men wear makeup now and do their nails...
AD1980 Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Did I say that? I said they shower and put on clean clothes and comb their hair. You KNOW it takes a woman much longer to look like the kind of gal men would approach. Unless I missed something and men wear makeup now and do their nails... SO womens contributions to the whole process is getting ready?
Author Untouchable_Fire Posted November 2, 2010 Author Posted November 2, 2010 Why is it an either-or situation? Can't a woman just be assertive without being a "thumb breaker?" Yes, but it's the exception not the rule. just like a guy it all depends on how much you try. Anyone can try without going overboard to the point of desperation. It's like walking a tightrope. I've been down that road before, and it was a huge turnoff. I always felt like... Man just back off and give me some space. If she is aggressive at the start then pulls back... it is too easy to assume she is just playing games with you. Besides who wants that push and pull game?
carhill Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Oh, I wanted to qualify 'approach' by specifying generic to provocative comments about my appearance and/or personality, flirtatious behavior, body language and eye contact which indicate interest, etc. I've always been very sensitive to nuances when interacting with people and I do think I've met some women who were interested but were limited by their relationship status (meaning no wedding ring but rather other status); their signals indicated interest but they stopped themselves, as would be appropriate. In all cases that I recall, I later found out they were indeed in relationships with other men. It would be interesting, say for a week, to not experience abject rejection and have *available* people clearly indicate demonstrative romantic interest. I don't think my ego would be able to handle that
Pyro Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Ok. Pros for women: Don't have to put in any effort, Don't have to take any intiatives, Don't have to risk rejection, Any woman who are even average looking will get approached alot and just need to sit back and choose, Women are desired more and therefore have it easier to get into a relationship. Cons for women: ??? Pros for men: Get to choose who they approach... Cons for men: Will get rejected by most of whom they approach unless they are rich or super attractive, Have to initiatie every date, every phone call, every contact at all times not just in the beggining but all the time as well, have to work hard to get a woman and be peristant, never get to experience what it's like to be desired or wanted by a woman. Cons for women? Apparently you can't read the first post in this thread. Read it again and you will see.
donnamaybe Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Yes, but it's the exception not the rule.Ah, here we go. You find an assertive woman, men label her aggressive. But come across an assertive man and he'll soon be CEO.
donnamaybe Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 SO womens contributions to the whole process is getting ready? That's just the "getting approached" stage. Isn't that what we were talking about?
tincanman99 Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 There is truth about men having to do the initiating but women have their share to endure as well. Most of the time women give out signals they are interested. She has to hope the guy picks it up if at all. Most men including myself dont pick them up a lot of the time. Than if they click and she gives the guy her number she has to wait for him to call. And speaking as a guy, many times I never call because I over think it, am afraid of rejection, what to say, blah, blah. I did it recently and am not proud of it but it is what it is... After that she has to weed the guy out and figure out what his intentions are. Each side has a burden to bear but to say men endure all the work is nonsense.
bayouboi Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 FTR my ex was the one who approached me at a bar one night. O well crap man, since your ex (I'm assuming you're a man and the ex is a woman to make your point against me) approached you at a bar one night I am convinced that women clearly have a harder time in dating! Hmm now my turn to use your emoticon!
PJKino Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 As somebody whos deathly afraid of rejection and not good at talking to strangers the "rules" do crush my chances.. Ive also never gotten women and never gotten positive reinforcements about how i look only negative so i already go with the mindset why bother women arent attracted to me..
Hi.P.O'Crit Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 I must say, for the record, I do give men props. I'm not sure how I would handle being in their position. Having to approach in order to get dates, being rejected the majority of the time, etc. I think a man who can endure all of that, and still be happy to be a man and with a positive outlook, is someone definitely worth getting to know!! For the most part I agree. what I don't agree with is the implication, perhaps unintended, that men who always get rejected are not worth getting to know. Also, in my experience it's a lot easier to endure rejection the majority of the time when the majority of the time does not approach all the time. Trying to maintain a positive outlook then becomes increasingly difficult. If not downright impossible.
Pyro Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 O well crap man, since your ex (I'm assuming you're a man and the ex is a woman to make your point against me) approached you at a bar one night I am convinced that women clearly have a harder time in dating! Hmm now my turn to use your emoticon! Unlike you and a few others on here I am not trying to bytch and say that one gender has it harder than the other. My point is that both sides have challenges in the game of dating. Both sides take the risk of being rejected.
Anela Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 O well crap man, since your ex (I'm assuming you're a man and the ex is a woman to make your point against me) approached you at a bar one night I am convinced that women clearly have a harder time in dating! Hmm now my turn to use your emoticon! I thought he was only making the point that men aren't always the aggressors/initiators. She took a chance and approached him, instead of waiting for him, or anyone else, to approach her.
donnamaybe Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 O well crap man, since your ex (I'm assuming you're a man and the ex is a woman to make your point against me) approached you at a bar one night I am convinced that women clearly have a harder time in dating! That isn't what this thread is about. It's about merely stating that women don't have it "easy." Stay on topic please.
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