mellowyellow186 Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 hi, so my bf and i have been going out for two years, he is 23 and i am 21. he is the love of my life, or so i thought. about eight months ago he broke up with me becasue he said he didnt feel the same way, but we kept in contact and we got back together because he said he missed me too much and still loved me. Now things have been great, we fixed all out problems until recently. he says i act different with his family, which is true, i am very shy so im not very social but i try. he says they think we are an odd couple even though they dont know me well at all. Last friday he was acting werid and decided that he wanted to break up, becuase he says he doesnt see us going anywhere in future, but he doesnt know where in the future hes talking about. we decided to talk more the next day. I went over and we talked, he said he was confused, that he loves me and his happy but feels like he has to do the 'right' thing and see what its like to be alone. But when we were talking he kept carressing me and touching my face, and one thing led to another... and we ended up kissing. after that he said he was more confused, and i suggested we take it day by day, and he said maybe we should take a break and we could figure the details out later. Before i left i made sure to talk to be extra friendly and social with his mother, and when i looked over he seemed to be smiling and happy i was talking to her and when i left he hugged me goodbye. everything seems like it would be fine right and he was just freaking out? well not, he hasnt spoke to me since, and i know he is avoiding my calls... we never set terms to a 'break' and i know he loves me and cares, and that there is no once else, but i dont understand whats going on. a part of me wants to just show up at his house and end it, and another wants to try to work it out. any suggestions?? oh and im positive there is no one else, and that no one is telling him to leave me, and i know he loves me and his happy. what do i do?? please help!
WTRanger Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 A break means just that, a break from everything. The issue you have is that you two didn't set a guide for the break, you left it completely open ended. You have no idea when is a good time to check in, or if you can contact him, or what. Nothing was established. He set his terms in his mind, and you set your terms in your mind. Never ever figure out details later on. Get them set, or make the break a permanent one. You cannot ever expect to live your life in limbo, which is where you are now. I've got a thread in the coping forums as I am dealing with the silent treatment, come check it out for additional insights.
lapse Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 hi, so my bf and i have been going out for two years, he is 23 and i am 21. he is the love of my life, or so i thought. about eight months ago he broke up with me becasue he said he didnt feel the same way, but we kept in contact and we got back together because he said he missed me too much and still loved me. Now things have been great, we fixed all out problems until recently. he says i act different with his family, which is true, i am very shy so im not very social but i try. he says they think we are an odd couple even though they dont know me well at all. Last friday he was acting werid and decided that he wanted to break up, becuase he says he doesnt see us going anywhere in future, but he doesnt know where in the future hes talking about. we decided to talk more the next day. I went over and we talked, he said he was confused, that he loves me and his happy but feels like he has to do the 'right' thing and see what its like to be alone. But when we were talking he kept carressing me and touching my face, and one thing led to another... and we ended up kissing. after that he said he was more confused, and i suggested we take it day by day, and he said maybe we should take a break and we could figure the details out later. Before i left i made sure to talk to be extra friendly and social with his mother, and when i looked over he seemed to be smiling and happy i was talking to her and when i left he hugged me goodbye. everything seems like it would be fine right and he was just freaking out? well not, he hasnt spoke to me since, and i know he is avoiding my calls... we never set terms to a 'break' and i know he loves me and cares, and that there is no once else, but i dont understand whats going on. a part of me wants to just show up at his house and end it, and another wants to try to work it out. any suggestions?? oh and im positive there is no one else, and that no one is telling him to leave me, and i know he loves me and his happy. what do i do?? please help! I know this is hard. However, you go focus on you. Whatever you do, do not call him or show up at his house. Do not get in touch with him in any way. If he wants a break, give him a break. We all know that is hard, but if you do it, you will feel stronger and feeling stronger makes us all feel better.
iamawesome Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 He's dragging you through his own growing-pains. Let him grow, and focus on yourself. Limit contact significantly. Make yourself exclusive and busy.
danny1972 Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 let him go and move on yr self live your life let him figure out his own demons, wether or not you move on or mope around will not effect his decision to get back with you if he feels the need to ,you are in a win win situation
Recommended Posts