Caring Princess Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Background information: We started our long distance (2.5 hrs) affair as FWB, as I was already in a 12 year relationship without the sex and talking. Since I traveled all over the country, I needed a friend to chat with during the day/night. After we met for lunch in August 2009, we did not see each other for three months do to scheduling issues... but, we continued to chat online. He told me that he had not been in a relationship or had sex for two years, so we spent our first night together last November and it was not the best... we discussed it and he wanted to make it up to me, so about a month or two later we tried again. It was better, so we met each other every couple of weeks for one night. In March, we decided we would engage in some outside activities (meaning outside activities). With all my miles from traveling, we decided we would go to L.A. for a long weekend. He was somewhat resistant about it at first due to his "honor" as he wanted to pay for some of our trip. He took care of the car rental and meals, so that made him feel better. During our time together in L.A. in April, I told him that we should stop seeing each other (I cannot even remember why, now). He became upset and said "so, you are breaking up with me?" This was somewhat of a shock to me and I was too soft and continued our romance. Over the next months, we went to weekend long rock concert, renaissance faire (where he wanted to dress up and we did), stayed at a very expensive romantic hotel (that he had sent me the link for way back in November), weekend gaming event, and spent at least one night together every other weekend. During the end of the summer, I had asked him to come to Vegas for a weekend because I was going to stay over. He stated that he did not have monies for that (food/gambling as my company provided hotel/car and I was going to use miles for his airfare). So, I told him to save up money for a trip to Vegas on his birthday in October. During our time together, I have experienced some issues at work and has made me somewhat depressed and more needy for talks, etc. This put a damper on our relationship at times as he is not a real emotional type of guy, but he made me feel as good as he could. I became real moody and broke up with him almost every week, which never lasted because he would say "oh, it is Monday... lol". I constantly pushed him and I know I was trying to push him away as it needed to end if he could not express his feelings other than "I care for you very much". He had had some relationship issues in the past and always said that he had difficulty in that area. However, he was the one that initiated the girlfriend/boyfriend status and he did not want me dating anyone else. And, my ex-boyfriend/roommate at home continued to tell me how this guy was just using me to go places and for sex, so that gave me more to think about as well. Current situation: Our trip to Vegas was a disaster, we both had discussed taking our relationship to a higher degree; however, we ended up getting in a huge fight (he called an argument) and said some very nasty things to each other. We continued our vacation and had way better sex than ever! Many things were discussed in that fight and the days that followed and I ended up writing him a note on the airplane back home which stated that I was not secure in our relationship and I was going to go home where it was safe. He wanted to know if I meant home to my ex-husband (who has repeatedly tried to get me to come home, even after 12 years of separation) or my ex-boyfriend. I told him that I did not know. That was on a Monday lol And, by the way... he lives with his ex-girlfriend due to some financial BS of hers. Tuesday comes and I decide to write him a letter explaining everything as I had some secrets that he had found out about and I needed to share with him. I then proceed to tell him that I will book a night in a couple of weeks at that romantic hotel we had stayed at as we needed that after Vegas. He stated that he did not think that was a good idea and that we should calm down a little and take a step back to review what we had. I said, okay... have a good week and we can chat after the weekend. He then became angry and stated that I was being extreme again as that is not what he meant. I asked if I was his princess again and he stated that I would always be his princess. Thursday night we discussed what each of us were doing for the Halloween weekend. I had originally planned to travel to Chicago and visit haunted houses. He stated that he had a LARP on Friday night and he was going to his sister's on Sunday for Halloween Chili. He said that he did not have much money, but he would like to see the halloween costumes at some of the local clubs in his area. On Friday, I suggested that we (son and his girlfriend) come to his locale and see the haunted houses/clubs in his area since he did not have concrete plans, since they are planning a move to that area and wanted to check out the night life. He did not seem too happy about this idea and stated that we would not stay the night together. He even brought up that I had broken up with him. Friday night, I received a text that said the LARP thing in the woods was taking longer than he expected and he was cold and felt like he was going to get a cough. I replied back that before he took off his chain mail to get a sexy pic to send to me... I did not acknowledge his cold symptoms. Saturday/Sunday, I received an email around 1:30pm stating that he did not get home until 4am due to his friend's lack of organization and he was tired and had a cough. I did not reply back to him until 5:30pm and texted that we would meet around 9pm. He replied back at 7:30pm stating that he had just read my text and wanted to know where we were. At 8pm, I texted him back letting him know we had just left my niece's house and were on our way to the hotel. He then immediately called twice as I could not get to the phone in time due to driving and he asked what our plans were. I told him as soon as we got to the hotel, I would text him to let him know. We got checked in and I let him know where the hotel was as he was driving since he knew the area and twenty minutes later, he arrived at the hotel. We went to a haunted house, drove around figuring out which clubs to go to and then chose a couple. He seemed very distant during the whole time we were together and complained about being tired and sore from shooting arrows the night before. So, when we arrived back at the hotel, I let the kids out of the car and I got back in and told him that we needed to discuss things right then. He stated he was tired, had a headache and cough... and, wanted to go to sleep as it was 3:15am. I had to push him to discuss his behavior for the night. He said again, well... you broke up with me. I told him that I took that back on Tuesday and he knew that! I also told him that if he wanted us to end then he would have to come right out and say it and I was not getting out of the car until he did. He finally was pushed far enough and said it and I made him repeat it. I got out of the car and felt relief and was happy that we were both on the same page with this at 4:15am. I went inside and told my son about what had happened and that I was relieved and was done. I decided then I would not contact him until Friday and have a letter prepared for him apologizing for taking advantage of his friendship and feelings. I received a text twenty minutes later... "All I wanted was to go home and go to bed, was that too much to ask" that made me angry and I did not reply 10 hours later, I received an email around 3:30pm (we had just gotten home) "Are you ok?" again, I was not expecting this and I did not reply As soon as he got to work yesterday (Monday), I receive another email titled "For What It's Worth" "I know you aren't talking to me and probably dislike me very much now, but I just want you to know that I never have and never will hate you. I am sorry it got to that point Saturday night" what in the hell does this mean? I did not reply I logged onto my online game last night and within 15 minutes, he sent me a whisper "Hey" I did not reply No messages since then... thank goodness!!! We have chatted via email throughout each day (messaging 50 -100 times per day) for over a year... so, yes it is kind of weird that I am not chatting with him. I just wanna know why he is doing this? I want to message him back, but... I do know that I cannot be friends.
Don Ho Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 You sound like a lot of drama .... a Drama Mama! It also sounds like you're both immature about relationships. Move on and find someone else to drive crazy.
Author Caring Princess Posted November 3, 2010 Author Posted November 3, 2010 Well, thank you for your honesty Yes, the last few months have consumed us with drama and I will work on that.
Don Ho Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 That was said tongue-in-cheek. Kinda. You do kinda sound like you're a roller coaster. Aside from the rant, was there a question in there?
Author Caring Princess Posted November 3, 2010 Author Posted November 3, 2010 I received a text twenty minutes later... "All I wanted was to go home and go to bed, was that too much to ask" that made me angry and I did not reply 10 hours later, I received an email around 3:30pm (we had just gotten home) "Are you ok?" again, I was not expecting this and I did not reply As soon as he got to work yesterday (Monday), I receive another email titled "For What It's Worth" "I know you aren't talking to me and probably dislike me very much now, but I just want you to know that I never have and never will hate you. I am sorry it got to that point Saturday night" what in the hell does this mean? I did not reply I logged onto my online game last night and within 15 minutes, he sent me a whisper "Hey" I did not reply I just wanted to know why he is doing this?
brown03 Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Everyone has bad moments where they fly off the handle for nothing. It seems like he is sorry and that is why he is trying to contact you. I would at least tell him how you feel.
Author Caring Princess Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 Thank you for your thoughts. For starters, having time re-evaluate things and away from all of the drama between us this week has been really great! I emailed him, so he would stop trying to contact me: Would you please give me more time to make a decision about us? Call me on Friday and we will talk then... I know we have been corresponding with each other everyday for over a year which has been a constant; however, your princess needs some time to miss you and consider whether we can reunite and work together for a greater tomorrow... You understand? He replied: Ok I can do that. I understand. I won’t bother you this week. I replied: I did not say that, you are not annoying me... We will talk on Friday He replied: ok I thought I knew what I wanted Sunday morning, but after reading posts and searching the internet about relationships/break ups/etc... I will totally agree with one of the posters to this thread. Shame on me! I have been somewhat immature with only having this as my third relationship since I was 18 (28 years ago). I believe that I have contributed the most amount of blame. Going forward, I will give it my all and work with him to get it right, have fun, and stop looking for excuses to call it quits. Afterall, I did read somewhere that it takes two for a relationship to work... and, I was pushing him to do all of the work Thank you again
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