red_cloud Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 I met a guy about three weeks ago online. We met up after a few emails and really hit it off. We had an amazing conversation and a great connection and he made plans for the next date at the end of the first. He also quickly followed up with me a few days later. Since then, we've gone on eight dates, ranging from taking a small trip to go hiking to just hanging out at his place and watching a movie. He's always paid for everything, although I tried to chip in as much as possible, and offered to come and pick me up and drop me off since he has a car. He's always followed up and planned everything out so far, so the perfect gentleman. He's also taken things very slow physically. He didn't really kiss me until the third date, and since then, it's been slowly heating up. We were hanging out over the weekend and started making out and ended up having sex. He even told me that he doesn't want to pressure me so it's my decision. I know that we haven't known each other for that long and that we never had the relationship discussion, so I shouldn't expect anything, but after three weeks of such consistent behavior... I mean, the only guys who's been so consistently nice for three weeks ended up being my long term boyfriends, I figured that at least he's somewhat into me and not holding out for sex. Besides, I've dated guys who are only into sex, and they generally don't act like this. But it's been two days and I haven't heard from him, so now I'm a little confused. Has he lost interest that I didn't hold out longer? Am I just overreacting? I guess I just always thought it was common courtesy to call the girl the next day. How long should I give him before I move on? What should I do if he contacts me after that period? Although I really do like him, I don't want to date someone who's just not that into me.
valpre Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Hmm, I agree, it is common courtesy to call a girl the next day. I don't think it's a good sign to be honest, and I would feel confused too. Was he contacting you everyday before this weekend? It sounds like he made all the right moves before you guys did the deed, but you never really know someone's intentions, especially with the ones you meet online. I recently read somewhere that if a guy is making you feel insecure, then you should let that insecurity be your guide as to what to do.
Author red_cloud Posted November 2, 2010 Author Posted November 2, 2010 Unless he was out of town, we were at least in some form of contact at least every other day, whether in person, text, email or phone. I do not feel insecure about anything else, other than this situation. I even felt secure now before that I didn't think that a "relationship talk" was necessary. He hasn't signed on the online dating site since after our third date, so I thought that was a good sign too, but you're right in that you never really know someone's intentions.
valpre Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Yea, all the signs were positive before. Maybe he is just pulling back a little (I hear some men do this once they feel like they're getting too close and need a bit of space, but you never know for sure!) All you can do is wait it out a bit longer and try not to over think it too much. I hope you hear from him soon. If not, then just move on to the next lucky guy .
FL Lady Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Have you reached out to him? Why not? You guys have been hanging out a lot. I would've.
Author red_cloud Posted November 3, 2010 Author Posted November 3, 2010 So he sent me a quick text last night. I had mentioned to him that I was giving a presentation after work for an event today and that he should come and watch me, but I never followed up. His text said that he's really busy right now and that he won't be able to make it to the presentation. I told him that it wasn't a problem. Then he said that maybe we can get together during the weekend, and I said that it sounds good and to let me know when he's free. So at least he followed up with something that I had mentioned. Does this sound like he's just very busy with work and doesn't want to think about anything else? Or losing interest? I guess in the past I've always had guys come on very strong, so I'm not sure whether this is "normal" or lack of interest.
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