D-Lish Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 An old GF once said to me as we were getting ready to have sex and I was getting ready to dive for some muff "Do you really have to do that, can't you just put it in and get it over with?" maybe the meanest thing I've ever said is "do you really have to just stick it in me, can't you do some muff diving first???":p Seriously Art, you're a trooper.
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 When my daughter was born, she was born at 28 weeks - very premature and had to stay in the hospital for a couple of months. My family from my hometown came to see me: my aunts, and my grandfather (my grandmother had passed away earlier in the year). I remember meeting them at K&W (a restaurant chain here) and telling my grandfather about how my daughter was doing, her health, etc. and how I was worried about the danger she was in. He said "that's what you get for screwing around." I didn't speak to him again, and he died a few months later.
t0ri Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Simply hearing I'm a failure and disappointment, from my mother. Also, from my boyfriend telling me I'm a b****, psycho, dumb***, nobody could ever want me, etc. Those words really get/got to me more than they'll know. How sad! Sorry to you all who've heard very hurtful things as well.
Author loverofloveandstuff Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 Simply hearing I'm a failure and disappointment, from my mother. I don't know why parents (mine or anybody else's) do this. It is strange to me because you would think parents would want to encourage their child and see them succeed. Some people flourish when they are put down and it motivates them to go on and do great things. For me, the more I am put down, the more I lose faith in myself and lose any feeling of self worth. It's discouraging and it hurts. I have friends whose parents are totally blind to them doing anything wrong. They will ALWAYS stick up for their kids no matter what and are so proud of them when they do the accomplish the smallest things. I wish my parents were like that. Instead, they pick out the tiniest of flaws and forget to praise me for anything good that I do and anything I'm really proud of. This is a bit off topic but I think this is both mean and annoying. My mother often likes to tell me that I'm depressed at times when I'm really happy. She also tells me I need to see a psychologist at times when I am feeling really confident and doing well in life. Does anybody understand the psychology behind this???
JackJack Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 "This is a bit off topic but I think this is both mean and annoying. My mother often likes to tell me that I'm depressed at times when I'm really happy. She also tells me I need to see a psychologist at times when I am feeling really confident and doing well in life. Does anybody understand the psychology behind this???" Believe it or not, some parents, don't want their kids to be happy. Chances are they, themselves are not happy so they think others shouldn't be either. They put others down (their own kids included) to make themselves feel better.
melodymatters Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 I think your age and stage of vunerability might come into play here. Lord knows I had the meanest BF for most of my 30's and he spent hours putting me down, but none of it stuck. When I was a freshman cheerleader, the senior football captain said to me, in the lunch line with a bunch of other people around. "You know, you'd be good looking.....if you put a bag over your head". Ten years later, he was a bald, overweight drunk loser who had just seen me perfrom in a show and asked me out ! Boy did I have fun tearing him a new one !!!!!
Jannah Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Quite a few things...that shall remain nameless. I just put this song on and then I fist pump. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Joblzp0FEss&feature=related
Aflac2010 Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 In air force basic training, the T.I. told me that they might as well put a big L on my forehead.
JMX29 Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 My mother once told me that I'm unattractive, and she wasn't joking. Since then, I've had zero confidence and never had the guts to talk to a girl.
Vesna Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 Yes, parents can be a wonderful source of life-affirming, confidence-building guidance. Not. After delivering me, my mother delivered one put down after another. She used to remind me that if she didn't have children she would be doing A, B, C............ She never had confidence in me and until I cut her out of my life 3 years ago she also saw me as a source of potential embarassment. Guess what, my darling incubator! I have the life you never had and I am loving it. So hate me!
kdark Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 "You are very attractive. Why can't you get a girlfriend?" It's not the meanest thing to say, but ever since my mom, and many others have said that to me I have felt broken inside, and unfit for a relationship.
BambooLand Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 A teacher got frustrated at me and told me I should study about truck driving soon, because that is all I would be. I now sit on my sofa with a lap-top busting code and maintain several major websites for profit three days a week and I have a Camaro and dually truck in my garage. Oh and did I forget to mention that I am going to Egypt soon to see the great pyramids? My dream. Mrs. Landas, you can kiss my butt!
CrestfallenNoMore Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 After reading a lot of these responses, I feel very fortunate that this is the worst thing anyone ever said to me. My ex-husband is a conflict avoider and always diffused awkward or uncomfortable situations with humor. The fact that he found this funny, and at this time, was a painful clue of how just over our marriage he was. After confessing to his affair, we started talking about the state of our marriage and our options, etc. I was still in shock (I believe, literally) and he, a Canadian, said to me, an American: "I guess we really did have a green card marriage after all."
JamesM Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 When it comes to sex and marriage, I think my wife has said pretty much all of them without (I hope) realizing how they would hurt someone who appreciates sex differently than her. As Art said, my wife has said something very similar...."Let's make it quick, can we?" And "If sex is that important, then you might have to get it somewhere else." While those hurt, I take them as her frustration at the time. When I read this thread, the very first one that came to mind is what a boy said to me on my first day in Kindergarten. Odd...but that one never left me. I can laugh about it now, but I think it influenced my personality for many years to come. I remember going out to the playground at the first recess. School was a bit overwhelming for a boy who had never been away from home for so long. I assumed that other boys would be as friendly and shy like me. I was wrong. I saw two boys sitting on the merry go round and thought that it sounded like fun. I approached them and was going to climb on with them. The bigger boy (who also was the first boy in our grade to get hair on his face) said to me, "If you climb on here, I am going to pull your hair out." That was pretty terrifying to a boy that age. While I can laugh at it now, it had a big impact on me for quite awhile. Try as I might...I never got past that with "Jack" and I never liked him. And it had an influence on me because I had a much harder time approaching new kids for most of my school years. Oddly enough...that boy had lost most of HIS hair by our senior year and is now bald.
hotgurl Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 hhhm there has been a lot of crap said to me since my mom drinks and likes to saynasty things and my first BF was a verbale abuser. but these two gems stick out. 1. you are all used up no one will every want you. this was referring to the fact that I had a baby my BF said it at the time since I was breaking up with him I guess to scare me into staying. 2. why don't you just go and suck *** dick that is all you are good for. said by mom during a fight. She was drunk and doesn't even remember it. lovely.
betamanlet Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 I've had political discussions with liberals who have said my mother should have aborted me because I dared to not share their opinions on particular issues.
SouthernSunshine Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 (edited) My ex whom I had a child with.. I was only 16 and he was 35, I thought he loved me, and didn't understand why he started treating me like an enemy. He severely abused me in everyway a person could be abused. I was just a kid who didn't know ****. I should have stayed home with my mom, and stayed in school. Two of the most horrible things he ever said to me, was when he called me a: 1) Birth defect AND 2) Rotten egg yolk. Edited November 18, 2010 by SouthernSunshine
betamanlet Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 My ex whom I had a child with.. I was only 16 and he was 35, I thought he loved me, and didn't understand why he started treating me like an enemy. He severely abused me in everyway a person could be abused. I was just a kid who didn't know ****. I should have stayed home with my mom, and stayed in school. Two of the most horrible things he ever said to me, was when he called me a: 1) Birth defect AND 2) Rotten egg yolk. And I hope you learned from this and didn't choose to date other guys like this?
SouthernSunshine Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 And I hope you learned from this and didn't choose to date other guys like this? Oh yeah! Now I feel nobody is good enough for me.
Crusoe Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 At the time this destroyed me, but it was a valuble lesson and one I now drill into the heads of the kids I teach. 19 years old and my first time on the Show. Everyone told me to take it slow, not to rush, to get more experience, but I was in form and stupidly thought I could take on the big boys. Crusied through qualifying, breaking a course record in the process and was full of it. On practise day the nerves set in. I went out on my own early, didn't want to see anyone, didn't want anyone to see me. Just wanted time to settle and get a feel for the place. Thursday morning and I'm chain smoking in the car park, terrified. Terrified of walking into that locker room. Terrified of the man I have been drawn to play with. Major winner, childhood hero. A few years previous, at the very same course I got his autograph, now I have to play with him. Creep into the locker room hoping nobody sees me. Find a dark little corner and peek out, starstruck, overawed. A few come over, try to put me at ease but I can't take my eyes of this Giant I have to play. One puts his arm round my neck "come on kid, lets hit the practise ground". I go with him, start hitting balls and begin to relax. See my wife in the crowd and relax some more. Giant arrives, the crowds swarm to him and I realize it's going to be like that all day. Everytime he hits a ball the ground shakes, the crowds swoon and I get a little smaller. I want out, it's too much too soon. I don't belong here, that's all I can think, I don't belong here. Caddy tells me it's time. I walk past all the other stars, "good luck kid", "just enjoy it kid"..... Reach the tee, last to hit. Giant melts one down the middle, the crowds cheer, the ground shakes. Next up, old journey man. He takes his hand off my shoulder and also stripes one up the middle. Returns to me, pats my stomach, "show 'em what you're made of kid". My turn. In real danger of showing 'em what I'm made of. Not sure if I am going to sh*t, p*ss or puke. Hear my name, tee up and go through my routine. Can't see the fairway, all I see is crowds, TV camera's and the Giant stood four feet away from me. Approach the ball, look up at the Giant, hoping for encouragement. He speaks. "You don't belong here Kid".
always_searching Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 (edited) A teacher got frustrated at me and told me I should study about truck driving soon, because that is all I would be. This infuriates me. I have never understood educators who do not encourage their students. What the hell?! Why go into education--especially elementary/middle/high school education--if you are going to belittle your students? Obviously, enough of us have had crappy parental situations--we certainly don't need educators who further put us down. :mad: I had something very similar happen to me when I was in middle school. I was having such a terrible time at my father's house and was on so many anti-depressants that I was like a zombie in school. I probably seemed like a troubled kid--I didn't participate, I didn't have very many friends, and I didn't particularly do well on my assignments, quizzes, etc. Only two of my middle school teachers actually liked me: my 7th grade science teacher who was freaking AWESOME (I wonder what happened to him...) and my band director--though, I think she felt more sorry for me than anything. Anyway, my other teachers use to actually make fun of me. For example, I was always lethargic due to my anti-depressants and I fell asleep one time in 8th grade math class. The teacher called me out and made fun of me in front of the whole class. Haha, I look back on it with humour now, but it was mortifying at the time. Another time, I walked in on my 7th grade English teacher making fun of my writing abilities (or lack thereof) to two other students who I was friends with. I don't use this term often, but she was a bitch. Not one of those teachers ever took the time to talk to me, to see that I wasn't a bad kid, or ignorant/stupid, but was a product of a bad home life (living at my dad's). Luckily, I got back to my mom's house by the end of 8th grade and did smashingly in high school and have (thus far) done pretty well in college. My mom has always encouraged me and I have had teachers in high school and college who were also encouraging. However, I look back and wonder what would have happened had I stayed at my dad's house, and if I didn't have teachers in high school who also encouraged me--I don't know that I could have made it. I would probably be a high school dropout, on drugs, or worse. It's amazing to think what differences could have occurred in our lives if just one or two decisions or circumstances would have been altered. I thank God that I have people in my life who support me, and I pray for those who don't. If anyone reading this feels they lack support: know that you are loved and are worthy! You chose your destiny and will achieve it, by the grace of God. Don't listen to the naysayers! :bunny: ETA: If any of you need a little extra encouragement: Edited November 18, 2010 by always_searching
BambooLand Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 This infuriates me. In her defense I really was a hard one to get to pay attention and get to do my homework as I rather not be bothered with all that crap. All year I would slack and never get my homework in on time, or doing so badly on it that it looked as if I did it on purpose to piss her off. I wasn't dumb, just a bit different and got very bored at "normal" school stuff. I did a lot of skipping classes, going home early, smoking in the boy's room, stuff like that. School was boring to me and I couldn't concentrate on it. I went to summer school three years in a row to make up fo rmy "slacking" in the regular school year and actually aced summer school with honor role averages lmao. I think my regular teachers really got pissed because of that like "why won't he just do that in the normal school year?" Still it was very wrong for her to say that. At the time and for years after, it devestated me and made me wonder for a long time if I would be anything at all.
Lauriebell82 Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 Oy, I could write a book with all the hateful things that have been said to me over the years. I had some health problems in middle school and I remember that I sat down at a desk next to this one girl. She literally moved her chair away from mine and looked at me like I was dirty. Then she said "Yuck" and went back to talking to her friend. That is the worst thing that anyone has ever done. I want to cry everytime I think about it.
Lauriebell82 Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 Oh, my freshman year in college I had a professor tell me that I would never amount to anything and I would never ever be able to get into grad school, let alone get a Masters degree. Guess I showed him.
kellyj994 Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 It offends me a great deal when my mom says that crap to me! But she's right--I am a lot like him. Okay, so I'd have to say that the worst thing ever said to me was from my step-mother when I was 12-13 years old: "You are not attractive and you are not intelligent. You will never be smart enough to make it through college--you'll be lucky to make it through high school. You will probably be one of those pregnant teenage high school drop outs." Yeah...I graduated high school, have my undergraduate degree and am working on my graduate degree. I've done all that without getting pregnant. What now, BEYOTCH?! Thanks you for the post.
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