I'm Batman Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 I'm sure the topic of sensitivity has been drawn out indefinitely. But I had a conversation with my gf last night, and she thinks i'm too sensitive. I'm not the type that cries over dumb stuff like chick flicks, but more of a "let me listen to your problems and comfort you, or its been a hard day, lets go out and eat." A quick bit about us, we've been dating for over 5 months. She's pretty headstrong, more of the alpha dog (aka Miranda) bc of her occupation, doctor. I'm the passive, easy come easy go type of person bc of what I do, architect. We both like to joke around and poke fun of each other when we're alone. Last friday, her sister and bf invited us out to a Halloween event at Wonderland. This was my first time going out with her sis and bf, so I'm playing the cautious card by keeping my tongue tame from overly joking/insulting. I did not want to create a first negative impression with them. During the night we were waiting in line playing family fued on an iphone 2on2. Long story short we lost one round, where she blamed me for the loss. She admitted last night she was only jokingly saying that. I wasn't gonna joke back in case I got the dirty looks. I forgot about this incident all weekend while spending time with her, until we our talk last night. She mentioned something about going to this high end restaurant with her office. Of course, i was happy for her bc i've been there before and it's spectacular, and she hasn't. So I was jokingly saying "Shut your face, can i have the leftovers?!" She got offended with what I said. Is what I said offensive?! Anyways, I brought back up the friday incident, asking how its unfair that she can jokingly poke fun, and I can't. That's when she said I was being sensitive. Said she "can't stand guys who are sensitive", and that I should think about the relationship. So what does this imply? She needs an jerk in her life? Somebody that doesn't care much for her? I was once an jerl, but decided it would be better to mature a bit, and stop playing around and "listen". I told her that I wasn't trying to be sensitive, but rather I was trying to protect my own integrity. We ended the conversation on a better note, we're good at not holding grudges against each other. So what does LS think? am i being too sensitive? what can i do to make me/us into better people?
Jannah Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 So I was jokingly saying "Shut your face, can i have the leftovers?!" She got offended with what I said. Is what I said offensive?! Anyways, I brought back up the friday incident, asking how its unfair that she can jokingly poke fun, and I can't. That's when she said I was being sensitive. Said she "can't stand guys who are sensitive", and that I should think about the relationship. So what does this imply? She needs an jerk in her life? Somebody that doesn't care much for her? I was once an jerl, but decided it would be better to mature a bit, and stop playing around and "listen". I told her that I wasn't trying to be sensitive, but rather I was trying to protect my own integrity. We ended the conversation on a better note, we're good at not holding grudges against each other. "Shut your face" can come across as rude depending on the tone. I think in this case, you meant it in a way such as when someone tells you something, and your like "OMG".."GET OUT"!! The "how come you can joke, so why can't I" stance, comes across as a pity party and can be construed as wimpy, especially if you were huffing and puffing.
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