Am I average, attractive or unattractive?

[D-Lish]

Thanks, D. Your feedback always means a lot to me.

 

I just don't get why you'd even consider posting your pics on the net to get feedback from others. Girl, it's not the outside that needs a single bit of changing- you've got the outside happening. You just have to learn to like it too.

 

You're genuinely pretty- stop torturing yourself.

 

You're claiming to be totally good with the negative criticism, and you're provoking it.. WHY? I don't support asking for such criticism, and I cringe every time someone says something derogatory- but here you are saying "thank you sir, may I have another". I know you, you're going to internalize and store all of the negative feedback and use it to fuel your insecurities.

 

I wish for one moment, you'd consider using the positive things people are saying and take that feeback to heart. I wish you'd start believing it yourself.

[northern_sky]

It's great to see you perking up, but your new found happiness over these compliments is concerning. It's like all you needed to hear was that you're pretty, and you think your job here is done. Please don't think it is. You have a LOT of work to do on the inside.

 

It has nothing to do with getting compliments. I was getting compliments earlier in the thread, disregarding them and still feeling like crap. Hence people saying I kept ignoring the positive feedback. I just managed to straighten my head out in the last few hours and accept the good and the bad. Also, taking the pics down relieved a lot of my anxiety.

[Star Gazer]

Also, taking the pics down relieved a lot of my anxiety.

 

Don't post them again, okay? At least not in that context. It's one thing to have pictures just so that people can put a face to a poster name, but quite another to invite criticism. Even I wouldn't handle that well, and I'm pretty full of myself.

[Knittress]

Alright, so I didn't get to see the pics and I didn't want to read 14 pages of commentary on pics I couldn't see - but what I was thinking is "What the hell is sexy about REALITY?" You gotta work what you got, and if you're good at that people don't seem to notice what you actually look like.

(within reason, of course)

[Sabali]

It has nothing to do with getting compliments. I was getting compliments earlier in the thread, disregarding them and still feeling like crap. Hence people saying I kept ignoring the positive feedback. I just managed to straighten my head out in the last few hours and accept the good and the bad. Also, taking the pics down relieved a lot of my anxiety.

 

 

Yeah, it's all mental. Nothing is wrong with the physical... at least in the face. Now, if you'd like me to take a look at a whole body shot so that I can put two and two together then, by all means, that is why God invented the PM function. Don't worry, It would be our little secret, Northern.

[northern_sky]

I just don't get why you'd even consider posting your pics on the net to get feedback from others. Girl, it's not the outside that needs a single bit of changing- you've got the outside happening. You just have to learn to like it too.

 

You're genuinely pretty- stop torturing yourself.

 

You're claiming to be totally good with the negative criticism, and you're provoking it.. WHY? I don't support asking for such criticism, and I cringe every time someone says something derogatory- but here you are saying "thank you sir, may I have another". I know you, you're going to internalize and store all of the negative feedback and use it to fuel your insecurities.

 

I wish for one moment, you'd consider using the positive things people are saying and take that feeback to heart. I wish you'd start believing it yourself.

 

You're right. And a year ago I too would have shuddered at the thought of posting a thread like this. I don't know what's going on in my brain. I think I've in place of apathy that you only reach by having lost everything. What I lost, I don't know. I guess it must be related to how things ended with my ex. Something cracked in me that night. I had some existential crisis where I realized everything was meaningless. I don't know why the end of a four month relationship should have affected me so deeply, while the three year one that preceded it hardly left a dent. I just hope it heals back up.

Edited November 3, 2010 by northern_sky

[Green]

Ur link has no pic this thread should be shut down

[Star Gazer]

Ur link has no pic this thread should be shut down

 

You were tardy for the party. Shadow received the help she needed anyway.

[Green]

You were tardy for the party. Shadow received the help she needed anyway.

 

this thread hasn't even been up 24 hours.

 

But as I already know what she looks like and since she could have only gotten worse I will throw my two cents in. She was attractive. I only rate women as attractive or unattractive. I have no idea what average would mean but to me looking average means unattractive.

[OceanGirl]

Don't post them again, okay? At least not in that context. It's one thing to have pictures just so that people can put a face to a poster name, but quite another to invite criticism. Even I wouldn't handle that well, and I'm pretty full of myself.

 

I would totally die if I posted pics for random posters to criticize.

I remember I once posted a pic in those "post a picture" threads and some poster told me that I need to lose some weight. I was rattled for the rest of that day

[Star Gazer]

I remember I once posted a pic in those "post a picture" threads and some poster told me that I need to lose some weight. I was rattled for the rest of that day

 

FWIW...Shadow once told ME the very same thing.

[musemaj11]

FWIW...Shadow once told ME the very same thing.

So is that why you picked on her nose? Girl revenge?

[OceanGirl]

As for the hair color, I kind if think that dark hair will wash you out. Also, light roots/dark hair combo is really ugly - it looks like you are going bald from a distance. Darker roots/lighter hair looks much better IMO.

 

I would probably go couple of shades lighter with mixed in caramel brown and lighter blonde highlights.

 

Dark hair/light eyes/pale skin sounds really good in theory but few people can carry it off. It is worth a try if you have never done it before. I have tried it about 5 times so far and it was a giant fail...so I went back to blonde

[Star Gazer]

So is that why you picked on her nose? Girl revenge?

 

I didn't realize actually defending her nose and describing it as literally PERFECT against the naysayers who were saying there was something wrong with it constitutes picking on her. Perhaps you have me confused with those other posters??

 

But no. I could care less what anyone on LS thinks about my appearance. The only opinion that matters is my own, and the lucky few who get to see me nekkid.

[alexlakeman]

Ur link has no pic this thread should be shut down

 

I agree, I didn't see anything in the link

[Els]

this thread hasn't even been up 24 hours.

 

But as I already know what she looks like and since she could have only gotten worse I will throw my two cents in. She was attractive. I only rate women as attractive or unattractive. I have no idea what average would mean but to me looking average means unattractive.

 

So do you really think the majority of people look unattractive?

[melodymatters]

Another quick thought : appreciate your youth ! I was hardest on my looks in my twenties, and damn if I don't look at those pictures now and think " What a fresh faced beautiful young girl !"

 

I wish we lived closer, I would love to go out with you and see how you interact ! I am in my 40's but i'm super chatty, friendly and warm, so even "I" am constantly getting hit on by guys in their twenties, so if an old gal like myself can do it, I'm SURE you can !

[Jannah]

Another quick thought : appreciate your youth ! I was hardest on my looks in my twenties, and damn if I don't look at those pictures now and think " What a fresh faced beautiful young girl !"

 

I wish we lived closer, I would love to go out with you and see how you interact ! I am in my 40's but i'm super chatty, friendly and warm, so even "I" am constantly getting hit on by guys in their twenties, so if an old gal like myself can do it, I'm SURE you can !

 

Straight up Mely Mel!

 

EVERYONE has been teased or mocked towards their appearance, personality and/or "just because". It happens when you're a child, in your teens, twenties, thirties, fourties, fifties, etc....

 

Everyone needs a theme song to rock out too in life...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsFeJ8AVGTU&NR=1

 

Hola!

Edited November 3, 2010 by Jannah

[gypsy_nicky]

I have seen your pics. From a purely objective pov you are:

 

a 5-5.5. Probably a 6 with really heavy makeup.

 

this is the scale most guys I know use (most of us will come to a consensus):

 

1-extremely unattractive

5-average-attractive

10-extremely attractive.

 

then you get the numbers in between.

 

A few points:

 

most guys here will not state your unattractive or 'average' (don't know why average=unattractive), most so in irl, this puts us on the spot and is a loaded question, therefore any answer can get us into trouble. There are of course the occasional 'bolder' ones.

 

you are thinking too much in black and white. Like most have said you fall in line with the rest of us = average.

 

It seems you want more. And if you can't have it you'd rather settle for less. You want the higher numbers- 8,9,10. Sorry to say but these types are rare, so are the ones who are extremely ugly.

 

In terms of your dating life, I think your pre-selecting your targets. It could be your aiming too high. Always gunning for the best looking guy around or aiming for the 8's upwards. The 7's are hard enough to land.

 

If you really want to shoot for the stars in terms of your face then cosmetic surgery can help you achieve that.

Edited November 3, 2010 by gypsy_nicky

[northern_sky]

I have seen your pics. From a purely objective pov you are:

 

a 5-5.5. Probably a 6 with really heavy makeup.

 

this is the scale most guys I know use (most of us will come to a consensus):

 

1-extremely unattractive

5-average-attractive

10-extremely attractive.

 

then you get the numbers in between.

 

A few points:

 

most guys here will not state your unattractive or 'average' (don't know why average=unattractive), most so in irl, this puts us on the spot and is a loaded question, therefore any answer can get us into trouble. There are of course the occasional 'bolder' ones.

 

you are thinking too much in black and white. Like most have said you fall in line with the rest of us = average.

 

It seems you want more. And if you can't have it you'd rather settle for less. You want the higher numbers- 8,9,10. Sorry to say but these types are rare, so are the ones who are extremely ugly.

 

In terms of your dating life, I think your pre-selecting your targets. It could be your aiming too high. Always gunning for the best looking guy around or aiming for the 8's upwards. The 7's are hard enough to land.

 

If you really want to shoot for the stars in terms of your face then cosmetic surgery can help you achieve that.

 

I don't give your opinion much merit, because I know your posting history. I actually EXPECTED you to give me a lower "rating" than other people since you generally seem bitter and overly critical. I've seen you make really nasty remarks in other people's threads, trying to cut them down. Also, I think your taste is very different from mine. I remember you once calling someone a 7 who I would have given a 6 at best.

 

I disagree with you that the positive comments are dishonest. Random strangers have no reason to lie. I take the good and bad opinions at face value. Also, I've had several 7-8's men tell me I'm very attractive and want to date me in my life. The guy I'm seeing right now is a solid 8, and he's told me a bunch of times he finds me really hot.

 

Furthermore, I don't think my pictures do me justice.

 

I honestly would take your opinion seriously (as I did the other posters'), if it weren't for your posting history.

 

Take care.

[northern_sky]

Just to clarify. I don't have a problem with people posting negative or neutral opinions. In fact, I encourage people to be honest about whatever they feel. I also think the negative comments I received in this thread were honest and well-intentioned for the most part.

 

What irritates me about your post is that you try to cut down all of the positive feedback I received. And I'm sure you will also try to explain away the positive feedback I got irl. Which is why I won't bother engaging with you after this point. That's vicious and transparent. All you had to do was state your own opinion and be on your way. You're probably one of these people who think that everything can be boiled down to some objective science and doesn't allow for differences in opinion/taste.

 

The fallacy you make is that you consider all positive feedback skewed, yet you don't leave the same room for error in negative feedback. The truth is that they're BOTH probably somewhat skewed based on different factors. One may be more skewed than the other, but it's unintelligent to assume that one = the objective truth while the other is heavily distorted.

 

I also expect, because I'm defending myself, snarky posts from other posters trying to cut down positive feedback. This is a juicy bit of fresh meat. Which is why I'm leaving his thread, and not reading any more posts, before it turns ugly. And it will.

[gypsy_nicky]

I don't give your opinion much merit, because I know your posting history. I actually EXPECTED you to give me a lower "rating" than other people since you generally seem bitter and overly critical. I've seen you make really nasty remarks in other people's threads, trying to cut them down. Also, I think your taste is very different from mine. I remember you once calling someone a 7 who I would have given a 6 at best.

 

I disagree with you that the positive comments are dishonest. Random strangers have no reason to lie. I take the good and bad opinions at face value. Also, I've had several 7-8's men tell me I'm very attractive and want to date me in my life. The guy I'm seeing right now is a solid 8, and he's told me a bunch of times he finds me really hot.

 

Furthermore, I don't think my pictures do me justice.

 

I honestly would take your opinion seriously (as I did the other posters'), if it weren't for your posting history.

 

Take care.

 

 

Take care too

 

Woah, bitter and overly critical?? Nasty remarks?? When and where?? Maybe you've mistaken my objective realism. Sorry mate, I understand a lot of people on here care enough to support and nurture others but since this is an anonymous forum I would rather remove the blind optimism.

 

Well, they're not really random on here. More like familiar strangers. It's not called lying, its called replying to someone with an empathetic ear. If this forum had an anonymous rating system, where our opinions could not be tied on to us, then I think people will be more upfront with their answers.

 

Ok, so you've had several really attractive guys?? I thought it was dry spells.... I thought you said you were unattractive and when people tell you otherwise, you keep pushing the unattractive card.

 

So your pictures don't do you justice..... are you saying that how you view yourself is how you expect others to view you? That's not gonna happen.

 

What's wrong with being average? Drill it into your head average IS NOT UGLY.

Edited November 4, 2010 by gypsy_nicky

[ScreamingTrees]

Well, at least you're thinking in a more positive manner now.. You have to learn to just go with the flow and be outgoing around guys without analyzing everything. I truly believe people give off auras of some kind - if you go around with a self-defeating mindset, people are going to pick up on it and it'll probably change how they see you.

 

So instead of worrying about people's intentions or what they think of you, just live your life. Don't overthink what people may think, or what you think about yourself. I used to build up walls of thought around myself and every other person, already sure they'd have preconceived notions of me if I spoke to them. It became a self-fulfilling propecy..

 

So, if you're going on this date, just go for it and enjoy yourself, stop overthinking it, take everything at face value. I mean, you're going to create issues that don't seem to be there, from what you're telling us. Don't sabotage a good thing..

 

And most of us are average in my opinion.. Average = Good looking. But it's still subjective.. No specific look is unattractive, really, it's all subjective.

Edited November 4, 2010 by ScreamingTrees

[RecordProducer]

Northern-sky, I came to late to this thread to see your pictures, but I can tell you one thing for sure: we are not our pictures. Before you get new professors, look at their pictures on the school's website, then meet them in person - in all their glory, teaching what they're good at, gesturing, making jokes, smiling, listening... you'll know what I am talking about. We are who we present to the world. Our flaws can be cute and most of them will go unnoticeable for many years with the people who like our personality. My mom likes to say: you get used to both beauty and ugliness, so you stop noticing that one person is beautiful, and that the other is ugly. We fall in love, not just despite of somebody's physical flaws, but often we fall for the flaws thmeselves. People are not perfect and therefore people are scared of oure beauty. The real lucky ones in this world (be it looks or brains or talent or monetary wealth) are the loneliest folks.

 

You can be as sexy as you want to be. You can feel sexy and you'll radiate beauty - you'll ooze charm. We're all poisoned by Hollywood Barbie-doll type of beauty, but in real life, self-confidence and charisma is what brings lovers in our lives. Just take care of yourself and be positive about everything. Forget the 1-10 scale. Don't compare yourself to anybody. You're unique, find your style, feel comfortable with yourself and you'll discover that you can be a bigger star than some perfect doll face.

[marg]

I am new to this site and cant seem to figure out how to look at any pics but by just the one on your profile girl if your below average then I'm screwed!! lol