juand Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 My exgf broke up with me about a month and a half ago. Ever since then i have kept all the contact. The last time i talked to her she cried and more and said she was lost. Then i gave it like two weeks to contact her and i finally gave in and asked her how she was doing and she said "idk what the hell i want, my life is so confusing right now" we then had a cpl text msgs back and forth and all she said was she was confused and did not know what she wanted. i told her why not simply say i dont love u anymore, leave me alone and lets move on. she responded saying thats not at all what i want. Now i am sitting here thinking of what to do. can anyone please help me and let me know what i can do. should i look for her, should i forget her? I am going away for two weeks, what should i do when i come back? look for her or just move on?
Am4Real Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 My exgf broke up with me about a month and a half ago. Ever since then i have kept all the contact. The last time i talked to her she cried and more and said she was lost. She didn’t say she loves you; she didn’t say she can’t live without you’ she didn’t say she made the biggest mistake of her life leaving you; she didn’t say she wanted to get back with you…as a matter of fact she didn’t say a single thing that made any sense to you at all, did she? [highlight]Why then are you trying to make sense of nonsense?[/highlight] Why, because you’re hoping there is a shred of feeling for you in her words, her texts, her notions…hope can be a real enemy following a breakup and eventually if not now, there must be time for action in moving on, healing and planning for the future. Tell me/us you believe that so we know how to help you…
Ajax Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 I feel for ya man. My ex also needed to figure herself out. haven't talked to her in two months. Mow I found out she's trying to buy a house in North Carolina (we're in western New York). Seems like a big move for someone so lost. Just pulling up stakes and leaving everyone who cares about her. You need to move on. Keeping hope that she'll change her mind and come back will only prolong your suffering and waste time. In the rare case that she does decide to come back, moving on won't keep her from doing it. So it's a win win situation if you do.
Yeahdude22 Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 My exgf broke up with me about a month and a half ago. Ever since then i have kept all the contact. The last time i talked to her she cried and more and said she was lost. Then i gave it like two weeks to contact her and i finally gave in and asked her how she was doing and she said "idk what the hell i want, my life is so confusing right now" we then had a cpl text msgs back and forth and all she said was she was confused and did not know what she wanted. i told her why not simply say i dont love u anymore, leave me alone and lets move on. she responded saying thats not at all what i want. Now i am sitting here thinking of what to do. can anyone please help me and let me know what i can do. should i look for her, should i forget her? I am going away for two weeks, what should i do when i come back? look for her or just move on? i broke up with my ex, and we didnt talk for two weeks. she eventually contacted me and we had what felt like a genuine talk about everything. and she told me the exact same thing. "im so confused about my life, i dk what the hell i want, one side of me tells me that i need to be with you, the other side tells me that i need to be single and figure out my life, because i am scared of commitment and i have trust issues." well needless to say i decided to give it another shot, and ended up getting even more hurt than i did for the first time. i dk if she truly is an awful person or she really doesnt know what she wants, but until she realizes she lost you, or that she actually lost you the same games will keep being played. let it go. trust me . i wish i wouldve listened to everyone advice here, and of all my friends, but i didnt and know im back to square one, after i had been making very good progress.
Author juand Posted November 2, 2010 Author Posted November 2, 2010 Hey guys thanks for the quick responses, i didnt know what to do... i guess ill try to listen, stay away from her. She was always genuine, thats why i dont know what to believe, she has not said i love you since we broke up, neither have I.. But i know i do. In the other hand you are right she has not said anything that truly means something worth the shot of waiting. I am just opening my self for more pain. The onylwords she says is that she is confused and doesnt know what she wants, if she doesnt know what she wants now then why should i wait for her to find herself.... its hard to let go of someone you love so much. She lives in one of my parent's buildings and it kills me to think that she might bring some other dude in there... I think im just gonna go away for my little vacation and have fun and hopefully when i come back she will be out of my head for the most part.
Yeahdude22 Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 you cant think about it like man. as far as her being with other guys. she will be with other guys, and you will be with other girls. the thing with girls is that they know most of the guys out there are just looking for a quick hook. ive definitely been that guy, who has hooked up with someone and never cared about it at all. ive been with other girls since my ex, and they havent meant a thing either. so dont beat yourself up putting images in your head because its not gonna help at all. but do stay away. i know its not what you want to do at all, but you NEED to that for yourself. dont do it cause you want her to miss you, do it because it will help you heal and get over her. and i really do believe theres alot of people that just dont know what they want, however if theres always a constant there (in this case you) they know that they can do whatever they want and come back to you because you will welcome them back. go out and enjoy your vacation. time heals all wounds.
Author juand Posted November 2, 2010 Author Posted November 2, 2010 your right man, i just think about things too much. I've done that before i have been with girls just for fun, no feelings involved. but now that i do get them involved i wish she would realize that im not the dude who is gonna go around. I wanted to show her i was true. I dont understand why that doesnt matter to her. She says she is confused. to me that is, i just want to meet others. Im going to try and enjoy the vacation. hopefully you are right and time will heal my wounds.
Yeahdude22 Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 it really does heal all wounds. i was thinking about this earlier today. every fear i ever had about getting hurt by someone i cared about, and was so emotionally invested in came true with her. she literally did horrible horrible things, said she was sorry and how it didnt mean anything and that she knew what she wanted, i heard every excuse in the book and bought into em because i ignored my own logic. but even after all those horrible things i am still alive, feeling a little down. but i refuse to have my own happiness be directly related to another person. i will make it through, i dont know how long its gonna take, but i cant put a timeline on it either. i actually wrote down on a piece of paper and hung it up above my computer. it was the same thing ive been telling myself since my relationship turned sour, but never acted on it till now, and that my friends have told me its easier said then done, but that i should do this. all i wrote down on the paper was "man the **** up" i know its kinda rough, but at least to me whenever i have these feelings about the good times, i replace em with all the bad (which at this point has more then outweighed all the goods) and remind myself that i am a MAN.
Recommended Posts