craw Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Don't give them the opportunity to judge you. March in there with your head high and an attitude that says you are just fine being single. If anyone makes a rude comment or jokes about you being dateless tell them you're unwilling to settle but that you're sure you'll meet the right guy and commit one day, then smile and move on. Someone will always judge you for something. well said!
skydiveaddict Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Being single sucks. I'm tired of it, sick of it, bored with it and I like having a girlfriend. I don't feel awkward at parties or anywhere else. I just don't like it period. So I spend all of my free time jumping out of airplanes.
runner Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 I honestly would be reasonably happy with being single if only stupid society would stop judging me for it um, actually, the volume control is in your own hands; and if anything, you can also hit the 'mute' button. take a good friend with you, and who cares what anyone else thinks. c'est la vie.
SilentVoice Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Bring a friend . Have fun, you have absolutely no reason to be ashamed,
EasyHeart Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Being single sucks. I'm tired of it, sick of it, bored with it and I like having a girlfriend. I don't feel awkward at parties or anywhere else. I just don't like it period. So I spend all of my free time jumping out of airplanes.I am intrigued by your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
Knittress Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Being single sucks. I'm tired of it, sick of it, bored with it and I like having a girlfriend. I don't feel awkward at parties or anywhere else. I just don't like it period. So I spend all of my free time jumping out of airplanes. Eh, I think it's expensive and not THAT interesting.
skydiveaddict Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Eh, I think it's expensive and not THAT interesting. Only 20 dollars a jump.
Els Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 To be fair, I do think that there are people who judge others by whether or not they have steady relationships. But there will always be people judging you for everything. People will judge you for not having kids. For having kids too early. For being a SAHM. For focusing on your career and putting your kids in daycare. For getting a breast enhancement. For not having breasts due to a mastectomy. Be yourself; those who matter will not mind, and those who mind don't matter.
Smoky Day Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Someone will always judge you for something. Ain't that the truth. You've got to learn to deal with it better, that's all. Self-confidence.
Els Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Only 20 dollars a jump. The cheapest skydiving price quoted to me so far was $200+.
Knittress Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Only 20 dollars a jump. Yeah, I did a student special that was like $100. But BESIDES that, do you think "we have the cheapest skydiving in town" is REALLY that great of a tagline?
EasyHeart Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 To be fair, I do think that there are people who judge others by whether or not they have steady relationships. But there will always be people judging you for everything. People will judge you for not having kids. For having kids too early. For being a SAHM. For focusing on your career and putting your kids in daycare. For getting a breast enhancement. For not having breasts due to a mastectomy. Be yourself; those who matter will not mind, and those who mind don't matter.So true. People always judge me for being too good-looking, but I have just learned to tune them out. There is more to me than just my looks, dangit!!!
carhill Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Only 20 dollars a jump. Parachute optional SACWA, I really have a difficult time understanding how a smart, beautiful, accomplished woman has so much trouble with issues of confidence. I can understand having some ambivalence about being single, having been single until my mid thirties, but that's a separate issue from being confident in personal and social interactions and environments, especially situations like this where you know nearly everyone and have rapport with many. It should be a non-issue, regardless of everyone's 'relationship status'. They're co-workers and friends. Absolutely none of my friends are single. In fact, nearly all of them have been married 20+ years. Do I feel out of place? Why should I? There my friends. Can you see that delineation? Hope you enjoy the event. Own the room
dispatch3d Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 heyyyy lets all make a big pity fan club about how unfun being single is!
TheBigQuestion Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 I've been single for over three years and, save for one occasion that I've posted about in which I was ultimately turned down after a few months of dating her, could not be any happier. Maybe the people posting here are all older than me, but at 23 I couldn't possibly be happier to be single. I've mostly been single by choice. I've had to turn down a few girls who were interested and could have probably gotten into 2 or 3 serious relationships in the past three years, but I really didn't feel like any girl, save for one, was really worth it. Most of my friends who are in relationships feel restricted or suffocated to some extent or another by their girlfriends, even if their relationships are healthy and happy overall. I'd be happy to explain these situations in a later post to illustrate exactly why it is that I believe being single is awesome. What confuses me the most is that I'm not exactly your top-notch, super confident alpha-male either. I certainly did not grow up with silver spoon in mouth, monetarily or otherwise. So please enlighten me, what is it with some people's obsession with being in a relationship every waking hour of every day? Is it because these people validate themselves too much on how attractive they are to the opposite sex? I'm in my experience, women are way worse at NEEDING relationships. I know very few women that are truly single for more than a few weeks at a time.
EricaH329 Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 I know very few women that are truly single for more than a few weeks at a time. I've been single for 6 months now and it's been the best time of my life!! Don't need to worry about the drama that comes along with being in a relationship, don't need to worry about another person, or in that case what they might think of me doing something. That's not to say I won't get into another relationship ever. Being single works for me right now, and I can't see myself getting into another relationship in a long time. I'm truly content with being by myself. I also think that if everyone else were to develop that mind frame, there would be a lot more happier relationships out there. Not 'needing' another person, but rather wanting a specific person because it adds to their life. As opposed to making the other person their life. I don't think there is anything shameful about being single. At all!! It shows you are focused on yourself, and that you have that ability to be content without another in your life. That's an attractive quality!
Cee Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 I'm proud of being single. I may not live every moment to its fullest (or even live at all), but every moment I spend with myself is precious. When I take out the garbage, I treat it like a date with myself. It's a nice night out that lasts 30 seconds, I'd say. I'll wear a little sumthin', sumthin' to surprise myself when I'm spending the day scraping the cooking grease off my ceiling. And when I'm cleaning my toilet, I think this is a better time in the bathroom than showering with someone. Being single is great, but us singles must complain about it from time to time or coupled people will feel bad about their lives. If a coupled person wants to feel superior to me, that's great. I want coupled people to think about me because I am the center of the universe. Everyone should be thinking about me. In fact, everybody in the world should have a big picture of me in their wallet or taped to their person if they are naked. As for the party, bring your BFF, male/female/transgender and have fun. But don't have too much fun because that would make the coupled people feel bad. So try to look sad and whimper from time to time. The coupled people will then feel safe again knowing that they are superior to you. But we know it's not true that they are superior. You know who is superior, right? Of course you do, it's me. I'm the one who is superior. But since I won't be at the party, you are more superior, of course. But not when I'm around, then I'm superior. Glad you got that. Whew, typing is draining. Time for a nap.
TheBigQuestion Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 I've been single for 6 months now and it's been the best time of my life!! Don't need to worry about the drama that comes along with being in a relationship, don't need to worry about another person, or in that case what they might think of me doing something. That's not to say I won't get into another relationship ever. Being single works for me right now, and I can't see myself getting into another relationship in a long time. I'm truly content with being by myself. I also think that if everyone else were to develop that mind frame, there would be a lot more happier relationships out there. Not 'needing' another person, but rather wanting a specific person because it adds to their life. As opposed to making the other person their life. I don't think there is anything shameful about being single. At all!! It shows you are focused on yourself, and that you have that ability to be content without another in your life. That's an attractive quality! That's a very healthy attitude to have and I'm glad to hear you're enjoying yourself.
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 OG, you have posted before about your mother's expectation that you should be at least well on your way to having your own family by now. I know that there is a cultural element to this too. 31 is NOT "old" to be single. You have nothing to be ashamed about and please try to become much more impervious to what other people are thinking of you. It really is not their business whether you are single or not. Don't you have an awesome gay friend? Invite him, dress like a movie star and have a good time.
In The Green Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 There is no reason to feel bad about being single. If OP really wanted to, she could have a boyfriend right now to bring to the party. Granted it would be a crappy boyfriend she probably would not enjoy too much but technically she wouldn't be single. Most women COULD have a bf to bring anywhere, but we choose not to because they are not the right men for us. Don't feel bad because you chose not to saddle yourself with a subpar relationship. Don't apologize because you haven't met the man of your dreams yet, you've put yourself out there - you're open. And don't for a second think you are inferior because you bring only yourself to a party and that another person can only add to your worth and validate you. I doubt all of those couples are living the world's greatest love affair. I am never envious of others' relationships because I don't want to be them - I want to be me. Be happy being you and living your life. You answer to no one but yourself at the end.
skydiveaddict Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 The cheapest skydiving price quoted to me so far was $200+. That's for your first jump, you are buckled to an instructor. I should have been more clear.
Kamille Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 M I am not sure if I should make an excuse and not go but I already did that with a co-worker's wedding and another birthday party. You're so ashamed of being single that you're letting it control your social life? Yes people judge people. For many things. All the time. You cannot control what others think of you. So the only advice I have is this: Don't let "shame of being single" control your life. You'll already have won half the battle. Now the other half of the battle is the biggest challenge: you challenging yourself to love yourself as you are, single or not.
waynebrady Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Most Women would rather be single than with a man so why would you be ashamed of it...
skydiveaddict Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Most Women would rather be single than with a man so why would you be ashamed of it... I'm not so sure of that. But you may be right
tincanman99 Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 Dont be ashamed. At least 60% of my married friends are miserable. I would rather be happy and single than be married, trapped and miserable. If you are uncomfortable going alone, dont go or ask a male friend to go with you. No one will be the wiser. Its really up to you. I have avoided certain social situations because I was the only single person there (mostly work functions) and nobody cared that I did not go. I realized quite some time ago I dont have the same interests as some married people - they are always talking about their mcmansions, kids soccer/music/dance/whatever and obsessing about the real estate market. I dont care about any of that. Do what makes you happy and dont let others ruin your stoke. Trust me.
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