wjg23g Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Hey LS. How ya'll doing Was 5 months NC, I made contact (basically just hello via email), then I didn't speak to her for a month since that last exchange until this past Thursday. She came up to me at a Halloween party and said hello (was def drunk). I just nicely said hello and talked with her friends, but not her for a couple mins. On Saturday though, I don't know what came over me, but i sent her a 1 line email saying i'd love to find out how her year is going and asked to have coffee this week. I immediately regretted doing this. She replied yesterday, saying sure and that she has to check her schedule. (I assume she's still dating her bf, got no clue really) 2 things: 1) I guess she agreed to meet up bc she's curious, correct (i've been completely off radar for 6+ months, although we do have mutual friends) 2) I remember reading stuff about how to go about a coffee outing with the ex, but I have no desire to do this. I guess I contacted her in a weak moment after not seeing her in a long time. Presuming she responds back with a time that's good for her, should I still go? If not, how can I politely get out of this? There's nothing good that can come from this meeting. I really like the way my life is headed and I don't want to know anything about her, not out of spite or other, I just want to go separate ways. Tips? Also, I found this the other day, & I think it's hilarious. It's the Onion's take on my situation: http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-looks-forward-to-coffee-date-with-exgirlfriend,52/
Don Ho Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 So just get back to her (regardless of what she says or before) and tell her you've been thinking and YOU think it's best if you don't meet up; that you two have parted ways and there's really not much point, but you hope she is doing well'
Author wjg23g Posted November 2, 2010 Author Posted November 2, 2010 it's tuesday, and she hasn't replied back. not sure why she'd agree to meet up in the first place then. (maybe same feelings as me- changed her mind afterwards) anyway, i guess i should just wait for a reply. or, could i write back saying i don't think we should meet? (can i write that back if she does reply anyway?) i'm not stressing over this, just wish i hadn't done it
lapse Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 If she has not responded, do not initiate any more contact. None. PS: Your link to the onion was funny. thanks
Gossamer Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 it depends how the relationship ended, and by whom. In my situation, there were many "coffee dates" planned by both of us, but it was mostly because he abruptly bailed on the relationship and I didn't get a chance to speak with him in person about how it negatively affected me. I have recently gone back to NC, stating that I hoped we'd have a friendship in future, but not now. If I "slipped" in a moment of weakness, it would feel good for me to take control of the situation (once again, going back to NC) and cancel, saying that I was reaching out out of a desire to acknowledge the friendship we'd had, but that I'd be in touch in future about coffee because I wasn't thinking about my schedule and present commitments when I asked. Just my 2 pence. Let us know what you decide or if she contacts you..? /Gossamer Hey LS. How ya'll doing Was 5 months NC, I made contact (basically just hello via email), then I didn't speak to her for a month since that last exchange until this past Thursday. She came up to me at a Halloween party and said hello (was def drunk). I just nicely said hello and talked with her friends, but not her for a couple mins. On Saturday though, I don't know what came over me, but i sent her a 1 line email saying i'd love to find out how her year is going and asked to have coffee this week. I immediately regretted doing this. She replied yesterday, saying sure and that she has to check her schedule. (I assume she's still dating her bf, got no clue really) 2 things: 1) I guess she agreed to meet up bc she's curious, correct (i've been completely off radar for 6+ months, although we do have mutual friends) 2) I remember reading stuff about how to go about a coffee outing with the ex, but I have no desire to do this. I guess I contacted her in a weak moment after not seeing her in a long time. Presuming she responds back with a time that's good for her, should I still go? If not, how can I politely get out of this? There's nothing good that can come from this meeting. I really like the way my life is headed and I don't want to know anything about her, not out of spite or other, I just want to go separate ways. Tips? Also, I found this the other day, & I think it's hilarious. It's the Onion's take on my situation: http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-looks-forward-to-coffee-date-with-exgirlfriend,52/
Author wjg23g Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 Well, she didn't contact me & I haven't contacted her back. I don't really see a point in trying again. While it's possible she forgot, as I've had friends forget to contact at times when plans were in the works for meet ups, I feel it's somewhat different here. C'est la vie
Ajax Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I don't really see a point in trying again. While it's possible she forgot, as I've had friends forget to contact at times when plans were in the works for meet ups, I feel it's somewhat different here. If she forgot then that tells ya something right there. I think you should forget about this coffee date and ask someone else instead.
Recommended Posts