Marcella024 Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Ok so I new here (please be gentle). This is long and maybe some of it is pointless but I wanted to give the whole story. I'm a 30 year old female and I just started online dating about 4 months ago. I went on several dates, most not going more than a 1st or 2nd date. I kept meeting men that were not looking for the same thing I was. So than about 6 weeks ago I received a message from a 32 year old engineer. We have some things in common as far as we both have never been married, no kids. But our races are very different, I'm white, he is Asian. He grew up in England and South America. He has only been in the US for 2 years. I have never experienced an interracial relationship, but he has. He doesn't come from a very traditional Japanese family and most of his siblings are married to spouses of a different race. Anyway we talked on the phone for almost 2 weeks. He called me almost every night and I never felt more comfortable talking to someone before. Our conversations went on for 1 or 2 hours most nights. We talked about anything and everything. After 2 weeks we set up a date and met for dinner. He was very sweet and respectful. The first date lasted 5 hours and at the end of the night he gave me a hug and told me he would call the next day. Well he did end up calling and we went out another 5 times in a 2 week period. He was very attentive and pursuing me to the fullest. We did spent quite a bit of time together in a 2 week period and the first 3 dates he didn't even try to kiss me. So on our fourth date I kissed him and I could literally feel him shaking, assuming he was nervous. Before I went home that night he asked if I would be interested in possibly going away this upcoming weekend, depending on his work schedule. I told him I would love to. Later that night when I got home I called my coworker and told her how the date went. She than tells me that she emailed him under her dating profile! I asked her why she would do that and she said "as a favor to me" to see if he would go for the bait. I was pretty angry she would do that but than she told me I wouldn't be disappointed. She than gave me her password so I could read the response directly from him. He said even though he was flattered and thought she was pretty, he just started to date someone else (me) and wished her luck. I than went onto his profile and saw he changed what he was looking for in his profile. It doesn't say "relationship" anymore, now it says "hang out" and he says in the about me part that he is looking to meet new friends. The next night (last Thursday)he asked me to come to his place and he would make dinner. He had a trip planned for the weekend with some friends to Atlanta and he wanted to see me before he left. So I went to his place for dinner and after he was showing me pictures from the different places he has lived. We both had a few drinks before and after dinner. I was feeling especially "in the mood" and we started making out. He was a lot more relaxed and still very respectful. Asking me if he could touch me before he put his hands anywhere. Well you can guess what happened next. We were intimate and I'm the one that initiated it. The first time he didn't last very long and he was very apologetic. He made up for it later that night. He also told me I was the first woman he had been intimate with in few years. That caught me off guard but in a good way. I myself haven't been intimate with a man in almost a year. We were cuddling and I don't know why tears just started coming. I tried to make it so he didn't know I was crying. It was dark but I guess he felt my tear on his arm. He asked me what was wrong and I told him I was worried it would change things. I think he said "in a good way" it would change things. I really just think it was the fact that I hadn't been intimate in awhile and the vodka, lol. He asked me to spend the night. We cuddled most of the night but I wasn't very tired so I didn't sleep well. I ended up leaving at 4 that morning. He ended up texting me at 8am that morning asking if I got home ok. He left for Atlanta later that day and texted me bye before he left. I didn't want to intrude on his time with his friends, so I didn't plan to contact him till he got back. But he texted me on Saturday night just to "say hello" and asked me how I was and what my plans were. He than said he would call me upon returning on Sunday night. Well last night at 9pm I still hadn't heard from him so I sent him a text asking how his trip was. I didn't hear anything from him until after midnight and got at text saying he just got home and it was late so he would "catch up" with me tomorrow (today). So far everything seems to be moving in the right direction but I can't help but be scared its all going to end because we were intimate. We had sex a little sooner than I normally so maybe thats why I feel so insecure about it. I decided to delete my dating account while I'm seeing him and see how it goes. His is still up even though he changed some of the info. I guess my question is does it seem like he is "into me"?
Author Marcella024 Posted November 1, 2010 Author Posted November 1, 2010 .................................
Cee Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 If he calls today and he asks you for another date, then you'll have your answer. I've learned not to speculate about men's feelings that I've met online. Sometimes they call. Often they don't. From what you wrote, it sounds pretty nice so far. I hope you post what happens next. I'm curious.
TaurusTerp Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Stop worrying about it and let things run their course....live your life, keep seeing him, and stop overanalyzing everything.
sultry33 Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 So far everything seems to be moving in the right direction but I can't help but be scared its all going to end because we were intimate. We had sex a little sooner than I normally so maybe thats why I feel so insecure about it. I decided to delete my dating account while I'm seeing him and see how it goes. His is still up even though he changed some of the info. I guess my question is does it seem like he is "into me"? Oh yes i think he is;) cant see any signs that he is not.. can you?
Star Gazer Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Oh yes i think he is;) cant see any signs that he is not.. can you? I can. He updated his profile since they had sex. Not a good sign.
sultry33 Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 I can. He updated his profile since they had sex. Not a good sign. mm i thought that was before the sex and was changed from looking for rs to hangout? I keep my date profile the same even if im having relations;) never a proper rs for least a few months imo.
Star Gazer Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 mm i thought that was before the sex and was changed from looking for rs to hangout?. Where did you get this idea? She said they had sex. Afterwards, she deleted her profile. His is still up, but "he has changed some info."
e.clipse Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 I can. He updated his profile since they had sex. Not a good sign. maybe it's not a bad sign. to be fair, it seems like he "updated" his profile before they had sex. the OP says she noticed the change after she read his response to her friend, and that they had sex the following night. also, to me, it didn't seem like much of an update, since he downgraded, so to speak, from looking for a relationship to just looking for new friends after he and the OP started dating. it doesn't sound bad to me. let's hope it works out!
JungleLover Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 I guess my question is does it seem like he is "into me"? I think it is pretty obvious that he is into you. I kept my profile updated even though I was actively dating and having sex with someone for about 2 months because you never know how things will work out. After I was sure we really had something going, then I deleted my profile.
sultry33 Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 (edited) Where did you get this idea? She said they had sex. Afterwards, she deleted her profile. His is still up, but "he has changed some info." QUOTE=Marcella024;3074630 that night when I got home I called my coworker and told her how the date went. She than tells me that she emailed him under her dating profile! I asked her why she would do that and she said "as a favor to me" to see if he would go for the bait. I was pretty angry she would do that but than she told me I wouldn't be disappointed. She than gave me her password so I could read the response directly from him. He said even though he was flattered and thought she was pretty, he just started to date someone else (me) and wished her luck. I than went onto his profile and saw he changed what he was looking for in his profile. It doesn't say "relationship" anymore, now it says "hang out" and he says in the about me part that he is looking to meet new friends. The next night (last Thursday)he asked me to come to his place and he would make dinner. He had a trip planned for the weekend with some friends to Atlanta and he wanted to see me before he left. So I went to his place for dinner and after he was showing me pictures from the different places he has lived. We both had a few drinks before and after dinner. I was feeling especially "in the mood" and we started making out. He was a lot more relaxed and still very respectful. Asking me if he could touch me before he put his hands anywhere. Well you can guess what happened next. We were intimate and I'm the one that initiated it. The first time he didn't last very long and he was very apologetic. He made up for it later that night. He also told me I was the first woman he had been intimate with in few years. That caught me off guard but in a good way. I myself haven't been intimate with a man in almost a year. We were cuddling and I don't know why tears just started coming. I tried to make it so he didn't know I was crying. It was dark but I guess he felt my tear on his arm. He asked me what was wrong and I told him I was worried it would change things. I think he said "in a good way" it would change things. I really just think it was the fact that I hadn't been intimate in awhile and the vodka, lol. He asked me to spend the night. We cuddled most of the night but I wasn't very tired so I didn't sleep well. I ended up leaving at 4 that morning. He ended up texting me at 8am that morning asking if I got home ok. He left for Atlanta later that day and texted me bye before he left. I didn't want to intrude on his time with his friends, so I didn't plan to contact him till he got back. But he texted me on Saturday night just to "say hello" and asked me how I was and what my plans were. He than said he would call me upon returning on Sunday night. Well last night at 9pm I still hadn't heard from him so I sent him a text asking how his trip was. I didn't hear anything from him until after midnight and got at text saying he just got home and it was late so he would "catch up" with me tomorrow (today). So far everything seems to be moving in the right direction but I can't help but be scared its all going to end because we were intimate. We had sex a little sooner than I normally so maybe thats why I feel so insecure about it. I decided to delete my dating account while I'm seeing him and see how it goes. His is still up even though he changed some of the info. QUOTE=Marcella024;3074630 i read it that way.. Edited November 1, 2010 by sultry33
Author Marcella024 Posted November 1, 2010 Author Posted November 1, 2010 Yes he changed his info on his profile before we were intimate not after.
GorillaTheater Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 He seems very much into you. Beware of driving him away with whatever insecurity you may be dragging around.
Author Marcella024 Posted November 1, 2010 Author Posted November 1, 2010 Japanese guy, lol. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNg1pdt75OQ Yeah its stereotypical but its not far from the truth. :p:p Troll. I have dated "white" men my whole life and they. Always treated me like crap.
Star Gazer Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Yes he changed his info on his profile before we were intimate not after. I didn't understand the sequence. Thanks for clarifying. I take it all back.
In The Green Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Japanese guy, lol. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNg1pdt75OQ Yeah its stereotypical but its not far from the truth. :p:p LOL. That was so awkward yet great. I love the Japanese, I took a year learning the language...I should have practiced more to keep up with it.
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