Disillusioned Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Women don't seem to be able to understand that men also want to feel wanted. If the woman never initiates contact and makes me do all the work, then I'll move on because I want the woman to want me aswell... and show it. But to women it's always a one way street, they want the man to initiate contact everytime, they want the man to do all the chasing and make them feel wanted... But they don't want to reciprocate any of it. Damn right. I'd add to that, it's not a turnoff to me at all if a woman has a laundry list because at least she knows what she wants. IMO men and women who go out looking but have no idea what they want, are just wasting the time of all involved... the "any old cow" mentality doesn't work anymore, the only people who benefit from it are the divorce lawyers.
In The Green Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Wayne - I thought we were just discussing the initial 'who asks who' out, not who makes the greater effort in the beginning stages in the relationship? Maybe I misunderstood though. I just didn't want this to slide into a men have to do all the work convo.
Author tkgirl Posted November 1, 2010 Author Posted November 1, 2010 Damn right. I'd add to that, it's not a turnoff to me at all if a woman has a laundry list because at least she knows what she wants. IMO men and women who go out looking but have no idea what they want, are just wasting the time of all involved... the "any old cow" mentality doesn't work anymore, the only people who benefit from it are the divorce lawyers. :lmao: Women can and in fact SHOULD initiate contact or make the first move in order to increase your dating success. However, NEVER ever CHASE! There is nothing a man dislikes more than being 'hounded' by someone he has no interest in. Doesnt matter even if you reach for the moon and brings it to him, if a guy has no interest in you from the beginning, its very unlikely he will ever fall for you. If you are interested in a guy, the only thing you should do is make it known to him you exist, then make it known to him that you have interest in him, then STOP there. If he likes you back, he WILL make an effort to return the interest. Trust me on this. Honestly, this method also works well by men on women because I use it myself. So this is my advice for women: Approach= YES! Chase= NO! :) Lol, I didnt read your post beforehand and you basically summed up my advice through your own experience. Using the 'approach but not chase' tactic, any woman would get TONS of guys at no time. yep... I agree... and it's what I try to do myself. I'm not going to act all cold towards a guy and then expect him to chase me... that would make me lose all respect for him actually. So instead I'll make it known that I am interested and then stop there... and see what happens. If nothing then, eh... I move on...
Author tkgirl Posted November 1, 2010 Author Posted November 1, 2010 Wayne - I thought we were just discussing the initial 'who asks who' out, not who makes the greater effort in the beginning stages in the relationship? Maybe I misunderstood though. I just didn't want this to slide into a men have to do all the work convo. ugh me neither... that's NOT why I started this thread!
EasyHeart Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Any woman "chasing" me is a huge turn-off. But so is a woman who plays games and doesn't act interested. There is a big difference between chasing and being receptive. Acting bitchy and uninterested will make me think you are bitchy and uninterested. Acting flirty and interested will make me more eager to pursue you. I have no problem with women asking me out, either initially or later. I have no problem with women calling me, and I really hate people who don't return phone calls. If I call and leave you a message, call me back!!! That's just frickin' manners. BUT calling me every day (or multiple times a day) a week after we met? Ewwww. Or making it mandatory that I call you every single day? Ewww. Barraging me with emails/texts and then freaking out and yelling at me because I didn't answer fast enough? Or because I went to bed? WTF do women expect to accomplish with that attitude?
Mad Max Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 I'm probably the exception, but I've had women pursue me and ask me out. I refuse to pursue women simply because I don't have to. Why is it okay for women to have that attitude and not men? If a woman expects me to pursue her, she'll be waiting a long time. Most women don't make the first move simply because they don't have to. As a guy that is in a similar scenario, I do the same thing and if it's okay for women to do that, then it's okay for me as well. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
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