loadofhoopla Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 I dated my ex for over three years. We lived together, shopped for rings, were very serious, blah, blah. We broke up in Sept 08 and talked and slept together until March 09. I met my current boyfriend in April of that year and we started dating pretty soon after. The break up with my ex was an extremely difficult one, and I did a lot of stupid stuff to cause it. This past April I wrote a facebook message to my best friend talking about how much I missed my ex, even going into detail about how I missed everything about him, the way he hugged me, kissed me, danced, looked, smelled. In my message I told my friend how regretful I was for everything that had happened between us and that I was so hurt by it still. When I wrote this I had been dating my current boyfriend for a year. Needless to say, I left my facebook up and my boyfriend looked through my messages and read this. He flipped out on me, but afterwards calmed down. He is not breaking up with me over it. I feel HORRIBLE. When I wrote the message I was just looking through old pictures and feeling nostalgic. I was feeling bad about the way things ended with my ex, and the life that we had and that I lost when we broke up (my ex and I knew each other for a very long time even before we started dating-a lot of our friends were mutual and when we split I stopped talking to a lot of them out of respect for him, and because it hurt too much to hear about him). I NEVER want to get back together with my ex. I will always love him, but I was not at the time of that message, and not right now, in love with him. I love my current boyfriend so much. I know I should have waited longer to date him because obviously I still had some unresolved issues. But he is fantastic, and a better fit to me than my ex ever could be. We were living together at the time he read the message. I am so afraid that I damaged our relationship irreparably. He says he still wants to be with me and that he loves me but if situations were reversed I would be so hurt, and not able to trust him again. Thoughts?
Don Ho Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 I'm not sure that trust is the issue, you didn't offer your Ex a hookup or meet him for dinner or profess your love. If you explanation of what your wrote is accurate, then I think you should be able to get through it. I think you should just re-iterate to your BF that you once cared about your Ex, it was a difficult breakup, you would not want him nor go back and explain to your BF how wonderful he is and that you wouldn't give him up for the world. It might just be an opportunity to cement your relationship not have it fall apart.
Author loadofhoopla Posted November 1, 2010 Author Posted November 1, 2010 I'm hoping this is the case. I just feel like an ***hole because I know that if situations were reversed I would feel freaking terrible about our relationship. Idk...any advice on how I could make him feel good and secure with us?
Don Ho Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 I think you're over-reacting. Just re-assure him like I said.
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