irc333 Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Remember my post about the PhD? She was rather humble, in fact desiring a man not intimidated by a man by her education and what she does. Now this local PhD, as I read through her profile, I came to this part: I'm a college professor with a PhD in Organizational Psychology. I teach and have an active research program - I'm a specialist on work teams! I'm extremely passionate about my career and the opportunity it provides me to make a real difference. I'm interesting to you and we have something in common! Especially if you're any version of tall, dark, and handsome mixed with intellect, warmth, and integrity! Photos are a MUST, age (between 35 and 45) is essential, higher education is very important to me (I spent 10 years in college! Misery loves company!), and career success is essential for us to be a match. So a gentleman must be of higher education to date her. Man, 10 years in college...never really saw the purpose in going beyond a Bachelor's myself.. Becoming a PhD is only useful, IF you plan on teaching in a college, and I heard those jobs, in order to get one, someone on the staff has to die or retire. She also mentions she's "France and Italy" addicted, and has friends and collegues from all parts of the globe. Now, I can see why a guy would be indimitated. Not saying this is a bad thing about her, but I find it funny how one professor seems, I don't know probably falls into "High Society" while the other is a humble Professor.
Tim The Enchanter Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Becoming a PhD is only useful, IF you plan on teaching in a college, and I heard those jobs, in order to get one, someone on the staff has to die or retire. That's not true. We have plenty of PhD people at my engineering and IT company. I wouldn't be intimidated by such a woman, although I would think that she's a bit of an elitist snob and probably not worth the bother.
Els Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 I don't see how this is in any way distinct from the huge laundry list of requirements most people have on such sites anyway. Which isn't a good thing to begin with IMO, but eh. This isn't any worse than the average.
flying Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 (edited) OK, with this one, I don't see the big deal. I don't think she's being an elitist snob about it - she's not putting people down who don't have higher ed degrees. She's saying that if you've been through that particular experience, it's nice to be able to relate to your partner about what it's like, which is absolutely true. Having been through it, it was deeply grueling and humbling, and it's nice to be able to talk to people who've been through it too, because they get it. That's all I read from that. I think you're projecting a bit onto this one. Also, I have to say, that's totally fine that you don't see the point of going beyond a bachelor's. But to me, that smacks of reverse snobbery - can you honestly say that if you went out on a date or two with her, you wouldn't be subtly putting her down for her choices, because they were different than yours? I see that on here (LS) a lot, and it always strikes me as ironic when people comment snobbishly on those who chose to get a PhD, as though it's frivolous or self-indulgent. It's a choice - if you don't want to date someone who's made that choice, then just don't. Don't put her down for it. That's useless for everyone. Edited November 1, 2010 by flying
Eclypse Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 What do you have against these people? Is it just me or is every single one of your threads nit-picking peoples profiles apart. Does it make you feel better about yourself to do that? Most people when they see a profile they don't like they just move on, but you seem to just fixate on them. Are you single?
Els Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Also, I have to say, that's totally fine that you don't see the point of going beyond a bachelor's. But to me, that smacks of reverse snobbery - can you honestly say that if you went out on a date or two with her, you wouldn't be subtly putting her down for her choices, because they were different than yours? I see that on here (LS) a lot, and it always strikes me as ironic when people comment snobbishly on those who chose to get a PhD, as though it's frivolous or self-indulgent. It's a choice - if you don't want to date someone who's made that choice, then just don't. Don't put her down for it. That's useless for everyone. I completely agree with this. Elitism is thinking your choices and opinions are superior to someone else's - not necessarily limited to having a 'higher' (emphasis on inverted commas) status.
GoodOnPaper Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 I'm a PhD in academia, and having been around a lot of women with PhDs or who were in a PhD program, my impression is that most actually look for "opposites-attract" type relationships in some form. I naively thought that such women would be more likely to look deeper than most about physical superficialities but my experience did not bear that out. I read this . . . Especially if you're any version of tall, dark, and handsome mixed with intellect, warmth, and integrity! Photos are a MUST, . . . as meaning that "tall, dark, and handsome" will trump intellect, education level and career match in a heartbeat if necessary. No need for a guy to be intimidated if he thinks she'll find him physically attractive enough.
bac Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 (edited) IMO, she has right to avoid men who do not meet her preferences. She is serious and selective. My guess is that she does not want to get laid with everyone who is looking for sex online. Perhaps, she does not want a man who wants to be dependent financially on a woman. There are plenty of men online who are looking for a woman to support them financially. Edited November 1, 2010 by bac
nddb Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 If I were in the market, from the tone of the ad and the subtext, I'd pass.
In The Green Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 To shed some light about the PhD. In most states now a PhD is now required to call yourself a practicing, licensed psychologist (unless you were grandfathered with a masters about 10 yrs ago). So to do what she does, the education was required. I just wanted to clear that up.
sanskrit Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Reading between the lines, I think that particular profile would likely consider most men who met her physical parameters and had a college degree, doubt she would stick on post grad education requirements, especially if the man's career reflected indicia of success. Some parameters, like height or age, are more firm than others generally. Wouldn't exclude writing to her if you have an undergrad degree.
TaurusTerp Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Higher education is just a college grad....I doubt she cares if you have a PhD. She sounds pretty grounded, really.
carhill Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 She wrote a resume and posted it as a personals ad.
BS76 Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Remember my post about the PhD? She was rather humble, in fact desiring a man not intimidated by a man by her education and what she does. Now this local PhD, as I read through her profile, I came to this part: I'm a college professor with a PhD in Organizational Psychology. I teach and have an active research program - I'm a specialist on work teams! I'm extremely passionate about my career and the opportunity it provides me to make a real difference. I'm interesting to you and we have something in common! Especially if you're any version of tall, dark, and handsome mixed with intellect, warmth, and integrity! Photos are a MUST, age (between 35 and 45) is essential, higher education is very important to me (I spent 10 years in college! Misery loves company!), and career success is essential for us to be a match. So a gentleman must be of higher education to date her. Man, 10 years in college...never really saw the purpose in going beyond a Bachelor's myself.. Becoming a PhD is only useful, IF you plan on teaching in a college, and I heard those jobs, in order to get one, someone on the staff has to die or retire. She also mentions she's "France and Italy" addicted, and has friends and collegues from all parts of the globe. Now, I can see why a guy would be indimitated. Not saying this is a bad thing about her, but I find it funny how one professor seems, I don't know probably falls into "High Society" while the other is a humble Professor. It has nothing to do with being intimidated and everything to do with hypergamy. She's built herself up in her own mind so high and mightily that she'll only accept men slightly higher than her station on up. In other words she's priced herself out of the market for most men. She's exactly the kind of women you hear lamenting about "no good men". The truth is that there's plenty out there, but they don't meet the mile long wish list she's created for herself. Bottom line, another Lori Gottlieb in the making.
flying Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Hypergamy. She's built herself up in her own mind so high and mightily that she'll only accept men slightly higher than her station on up. In other words she's priced herself out of the market for most men. She's exactly the kind of women you hear lamenting about "no good men". The truth is that there's plenty out there, but they don't meet the mile long wish list she's created for herself. Bottom line, another Lori Gottlieb in the making. That's a lot of assuming, right there. Geez. Also, Lori Gottlieb is an idiot.
Chicago_Guy Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Remember my post about the PhD? She was rather humble, in fact desiring a man not intimidated by a man by her education and what she does. Now this local PhD, as I read through her profile, I came to this part: I'm a college professor with a PhD in Organizational Psychology. I teach and have an active research program - I'm a specialist on work teams! I'm extremely passionate about my career and the opportunity it provides me to make a real difference. I'm interesting to you and we have something in common! Especially if you're any version of tall, dark, and handsome mixed with intellect, warmth, and integrity! Photos are a MUST, age (between 35 and 45) is essential, higher education is very important to me (I spent 10 years in college! Misery loves company!), and career success is essential for us to be a match. So a gentleman must be of higher education to date her. Man, 10 years in college...never really saw the purpose in going beyond a Bachelor's myself.. Becoming a PhD is only useful, IF you plan on teaching in a college, and I heard those jobs, in order to get one, someone on the staff has to die or retire. She also mentions she's "France and Italy" addicted, and has friends and collegues from all parts of the globe. Now, I can see why a guy would be indimitated. Not saying this is a bad thing about her, but I find it funny how one professor seems, I don't know probably falls into "High Society" while the other is a humble Professor. Women usually do want a man who has similar, or better, education than they do. However, these women need to realize that men are really not that attracted to a woman's resume. Unless that woman is physically attractive, the type of guy she probably wants will go for a hotter woman with a less impressive resume. I have never in my entire life ever met a woman or anyone else for that matter who intimidated me intellectually. How often is someone actually "intimidated" by another's education? I might be impressed with someone's educational background, but never intimidated. She has a PhD is "Organizational Psychology"? That is nice, but she probably wasted 10 years getting a degree in a field that is entirely irrelevant to the business world. I would be much more impressed with someone who had a PhD in a hard science or even math because I know that one cannot b.s. one's way to a degree in those fields. This woman is probably very self-absorbed and enjoys droning on and on about herself on dates. If someone isn't interested, she rationalizes their disinterest/rejection as "intimidation."
Knittress Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 What's the big deal? She's a big nerd and she wants another big nerd to hang out with. How's that 'high society?' France and Italy aren't necessarily snob-factors either - in fact they think WE'RE cool and you'll hear all these English words in bad accents on the radio all the time. "Sexy," "cool," and "fun," are probably universally recognized throughout the globe. You're glamorous, didn't you know? Don't knock France - wine is cheaper than Coke there.
flying Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 (edited) She has a PhD is "Organizational Psychology"? That is nice, but she probably wasted 10 years getting a degree in a field that is entirely irrelevant to the business world. I would be much more impressed with someone who had a PhD in a hard science or even math because I know that one cannot b.s. one's way to a degree in those fields. See, this is the kind of reverse snobbery I was talking about. So, you guys aren't a good match, because you wouldn't respect her. That's just all there is to it. Why put someone down for choosing a different educational path? I don't understand the need to diminish a total stranger like this. It's not like she said "unless you have a PhD I think you're stupid and useless". She said she relates better to someone with a PhD...and to be honest, responses like this are probably why; who wants to date someone who thinks what she's chosen to do with her life is a waste of time??? This woman is probably very self-absorbed and enjoys droning on and on about herself on dates. If someone isn't interested, she rationalizes their disinterest/rejection as "intimidation."Again, this is really making a lot of assumptions. She said nothing about intimidation, that I could see. The OP was the one who brought the question of intimidation into it. People just see what they want to see, I guess. For those who say it's a resume - really? She's saying what's interesting to her, not in a lot of words - and, I might add, not putting down anyone else in the process, unlike some folks I could mention. You guys are being really unnecessarily harsh. If you aren't interested, why not just move on to the next profile? She's clearly not your type. Done. Edited November 1, 2010 by flying
Chicago_Guy Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 See, this is the kind of reverse snobbery I was talking about. So, you guys aren't a good match, because you wouldn't respect her. That's just all there is to it. Why put someone down for choosing a different educational path? I don't understand the need to diminish a total stranger like this. It's not like she said "unless you have a PhD I think you're stupid and useless". She said she relates better to someone with a PhD...and to be honest, responses like this are probably why; who wants to date someone who thinks what she's chosen to do with her life is a waste of time??? Again, this is really making a lot of assumptions. She said nothing about intimidation, that I could see. The OP was the one who brought the question of intimidation into it. People just see what they want to see, I guess. For those who say it's a resume - really? She's saying what's interesting to her, not putting down anyone else. Unless some folks I could mention. You guys are being really unnecessarily harsh. If you aren't interested, why not just move on to the next profile? She's clearly not your type. Done. Well I can tell you that I do have the type of academic qualifications she would like, although based on my own experiences, that woman is almost certainly very self-absorbed. Her PhD is obviously very important to her and she really seems to want a guy who truly appreciates her degree and how much effort she exerted to get that PhD. A lot of women are very attracted to a man's educational accomplishments and assume that men should also be very attracted to the same thing. However, reality is usually far different.
flying Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Well I can tell you that I do have the type of academic qualifications she would like, although based on my own experiences, that woman is almost certainly very self-absorbed. Her PhD is obviously very important to her and she really seems to want a guy who truly appreciates her degree and how much effort she exerted to get that PhD. A lot of women are very attracted to a man's educational accomplishments and assume that men should also be very attracted to the same thing. However, reality is usually far different. See, I just don't see that there. Here's what we were quoted: I'm a college professor with a PhD in Organizational Psychology. I teach and have an active research program - I'm a specialist on work teams! I'm extremely passionate about my career and the opportunity it provides me to make a real difference. I'm interesting to you and we have something in common! Especially if you're any version of tall, dark, and handsome mixed with intellect, warmth, and integrity! Photos are a MUST, age (between 35 and 45) is essential, higher education is very important to me (I spent 10 years in college! Misery loves company!), and career success is essential for us to be a match. None of that seems like someone full of herself. She really likes her job and is proud of the work she did to get it - I mean, is that a problem? She didn't spend pages describing it; she did it in two sentences. Seems pretty concise, to me. She also went so far as to explain why she would relate better to someone with a higher ed background, which has to do with shared experience. Is that really worth all this negativity? Why does this woman strike a chord?
carhill Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 The personals ad told me nothing of the person away from their career. Everything revolved around and was adjunct to a career, except for a potential match to be tall, dark and handsome, mixed with intellect, warmth and integrity. Yeah, well, what about the latter is a surprise?
flying Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 The personals ad told me nothing of the person away from their career. Everything revolved around and was adjunct to a career, except for a potential match to be tall, dark and handsome, mixed with intellect, warmth and integrity. Yeah, well, what about the latter is a surprise? He didn't quote the entire thing. He said "I came to this part." I think there's a lot of assuming going on here without sufficient data.
carhill Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Why do I bother with these threads? <smacks self> OK, carry on...
Knittress Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 The personals ad told me nothing of the person away from their career. Everything revolved around and was adjunct to a career, except for a potential match to be tall, dark and handsome, mixed with intellect, warmth and integrity. Yeah, well, what about the latter is a surprise? Well, we don't know what ELSE was in her profile. In fact, the OP mentioned a francophile tidbit that wasn't quoted here, so we can assume that this is merely the most 'offensive' bit of something much longer.
Star Gazer Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Maybe I'm misunderstanding the OP, but it sounds like he himself spent 10 years in college, but didn't get more than a Bachelor's degree...and is now claiming it's because he just sees no use in having an advanced degree. Am I right? If so...jealousy. That's all it is.
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