danny1972 Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 hi people i suddenly feel the need to vent , me and my ex split 8 months ago after 2.5 yrs together it was a nasty break up mostly fueld by alcohol . during this period she has not contacted me once i however done the opposite text , calling etc.... she is currently on her 3rd boyfriend 1st one lasted couple of months , the 2nd ended up the same way her current boyfriend ...well been about 3 weeks so far . about a week ago i had to contact her regarding a bill that she needs to pay in her name etc.. she was at a party when i called and was a little drunk , the conversation went a bit like this , ME ,thought id ring and get this sorted out HER i didnt want any of this (seems upset ) ME , didn't want any of what ? the bill or us splitting up why are u upset do u still have feelings ? HER , i didnt want any of this ,yeah i still have feelings ME ok so do u want to talk about this if i ring u tom i dont want u saying u were drunk and cant remember HER i wouldnt do that i finish at 7 30 ME ok ill call u then HER bye next night i call 7 45 she cant remember the conversation we had she remembers parts of the call but not about us and is def not intrested in reconciling. i feel like i have gone back to square one with regards to my feelings for her she seemed so genuine on the phone , so i rang her last night i'm confused now and want answers why did she say that if she didnt mean it ?etc so i make the call.............she is at her place with her boyfriend i ask her why she is playing games with my emotions she said "im not like like u know that " so i said ohh u meant it then ? she says "how did i know i even said that ? for all i know u could be making it up" and she just wants to make a go of things with her new bf she likes him and def does not want to talk to me and def not get back together ..i know her she def does not want me back in her life i mean she has never txt me once in 8 months so i know she is serious , ijust dont understand why she said all that **** at the party ? she said i dont play games so if it wasn't a game she meant it right ? and if she meant it we would have worked this out right ? im confused and hurt right back to square one i really need some solid advice guys , this **** is driving me crazy.
Mermaid22 Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 I'm sure you understand that she in on a rebound journey with all these guys she is seeing. You talked about dependency on alcohol and that is a depressant. Drunk calling is unhelpful and I sense she is simply embarrassed about what happened. I don't know how you would like to move this forward. If you want her, I think its time that you contact her and ask if she wants to meet. (NOT IN A BAR) you both need to be clear headed. Her behaviour shows that she is angry and perhaps she internalising her feelings. I guess it's about you recognising what she is doing. If you two can be honest and come to an agreement to work on things, then she really needs to address her drinking...... If you want out...... then you need to change your phone number and give her a clear message... Don't allow her to hurt you anymore.... Stay strong
strangeways Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 You're allowing her to mess with your head by not going NC. She hasn't contacted you once in 8 months. Why would she when you're making all the contact. She can just sit back and wait. She's with someone else and she wants to make a go of it with him. She defo doesn't want to get back with you. She doesn't want to talk to you. She said you could be making things up. She's said all of the above. Don't make the mistake I did of reading ANYTHING into what she says. That way lies suffering. You'll NEVER know the truth of the matter. DO NOT MEET WITH HER AND TALK ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP. You'll come away more confused and hurt and probably make a d**k of yourself. It really is time to stop contacting her. Sorry, but it sounds like she doesn't give a s**t. This looks like it's dead in the water to me. For your own sanity, NC.
Author danny1972 Posted November 1, 2010 Author Posted November 1, 2010 thanx guys your input means a lot ,i really was dealing with the situation for the last 8 months i had my good days and bad days , but generally was ok , untill she came out with that **** now i feel like im back to square one , im going nc all the way now im going to get my power back she tricked me once .... she wont trick me twice that i can promise , thanks guys rreally appreciate the time you took out to reply *we each have a star all you have to do is find it and once you do everyone that sees it will be blinded*
strangeways Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Great. That's the spirit. If there's any hope left, let it go. Do NC for yourself not to get her back. Move on, live your life. If you think you might break NC post here first.
Mermaid22 Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 I'm just tired of being the strong one all the time....
Yeahdude22 Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 i feel like whenever you get dumped, or break up with somebody even though you dont want to but because you know its the right thing for you. you will be the one feeling terrible, and they will appear to be having the time of their lives, going out, hooking up, etc. and they truly may not care at all at this point in time. but once that phase of their life is over, they will realize what they have done, and they will deal with that pain themselves. and im not saying at that point they will try and get back together with you, or anything like that. but they will grieve, and probably try to get in contact with you, telling you how sorry they are and how they feel so bad. but at that point as tempted as you want to be to start talking, etc, again. you just have to let it go for GOOD.
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